I often wonder: Is it possible to love without attachment? We do have so much love to give, but is it the right kind of love? We tend to feel a kind of ownership over all that we love though we don’t own anything or anyone.
It is easier to utter the words ‘I love you’ than to actually mean it. Love is perceived in many different ways. My mother would say: “Love, but never be possessive of what you love. Once you are possessive, you might claim ‘this is mine’ when in actuality nothing or no one is yours.”
We are all here on a spiritual journey. Along the way we find several co-travellers who become part of our lives but they too have their own destination. There is a hierarchy of love. Right on top are parents, spouse, children, siblings, other family and friends. Love stops here and further down the ladder it becomes ‘like’. Sri Sathya Sai Baba says love all as if your own. He talks of universal love. This is not easy to follow but maybe we could try. For starters, we could do little things that make people smile. A kind word or tone would not take away from you but give a lot to the other person.
Sri Sathya Sai Baba says: “If you want peace and if you want happiness you must live in love. Only through love will you find inner peace. Only through love will you find true happiness. Love flourishes through giving and forgiving. Develop your love! Immerse yourself in love!
“...Love is the basis of everything. It is the single most important quality that has to be developed. All your thoughts must become immersed in this quality of love... then truth will naturally establish itself in your heart.”
People who serve are Godlike; their service should be appreciated, whether they belong to your peer group or not. We need to learn to love without attachment. We love those who we feel are ours. What about the rest? Why is an amazing emotion like love saved only for those few people who we perceive as ours? For instance, how might one learn to love the person who has wronged us? I guess i would say OK, don’t love, but at least try not to hate. That is an improvement.
Again, received wisdom from my mother says things can never bring you happiness. Once you’ve bought something, its value diminishes. At first i used to think that was not true, but in time i learnt that it is one of the few truths in life. I constantly try and make an effort to not get attached to ‘things’ now because at the end of the day they are things. This doesn’t mean don’t shop, don’t want... it means realise that actual happiness cannot be attained from anything external.
Enjoy all the things you have and be grateful for it, as that too is the grace of God but do not expect it to give you anything. I find my peace every evening as i sit by myself and watch the sun set. That is when i feel real joy. The sun sets with such ease and that is how we should be.
I would get attached to songs and smells! Some smells can take you back in time and songs too can transport you to old memories. It is nice to remember but if we dwell on the past we are missing out on the present; we tend to miss out on new smells and songs as we’re so preoccupied with the old. We have to let go, because holding on to something does not give us ownership rights. So much baggage! To enjoy the journey, travel light. In other words, practise loving detachment.