tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-68287411069968912962024-03-13T10:20:00.700-07:00E-Zine(eMagazine ) of Life - Inspirational , Motivational etc. ArticlesInspirational Articles, Motivational Articles, Life quotes, love quotes, People search, famous people, Motivational Speaker, Leadership Skills, Team building, Time Management, Conflict Resolution, Problem Solving, Attitude, Habits of people, Planning and Organizing, Etiquette, Manners,subconscious mind, Creativity, Self Esteem, Personality Development, self Management, self Improvement, how to, quotes and quotations,stress management, Expert Author etc collectionVirag Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09701810232002379152noreply@blogger.comBlogger107125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6828741106996891296.post-82565386390557982232011-08-15T03:54:00.000-07:002011-08-15T03:54:06.597-07:003 keys to accepting change and letting go by Denise Marek.<h3 class="entry-header"><a href="http://positive-thoughts.typepad.com/positive-thoughts/2011/08/which-thoughts-and-old-beliefs-do-i-need-to-let-go-of.html"><br />
</a></h3><div class="entry-content"> <div class="entry-body"> Is there an area in your life where you’re feeling stuck? Perhaps you’re feeling stuck in an unsatisfying job or in an unhappy relationship. Or maybe you’re feeling stuck reliving past events that are causing feelings of sadness or regret. Use this awareness as an indicator that it’s time to go with the flow—use it as your inner compass to get you moving again in a new and positive direction.<br />
To go with the flow, ask yourself these three questions:<br />
<ol><li>Will any amount of thinking, forcing, or coaxing alter my situation</li>
<li>Which thoughts and old beliefs do I need to let go of?</li>
<li>In which new direction would I like to head?</li>
</ol>First ask yourself: <em>Will any amount of thinking, forcing, or coaxing alter my situation?</em> If the answer is no, accept that fact. Without acceptance, you’ll continue to fight, resist, and struggle, which will erode your joy and energy. On the other hand, accepting the situation for what it is and choosing to go with the flow will bring tranquility, peace, and lightness.<br />
Next, ask yourself: <em>Which thoughts and old beliefs do I need to let go of?</em> Let go of any thoughts about the situation that are causing upsetting feelings; such as impatience, jealousy, fear, or anger. One way to do this is to trust that out of every situation, good will come. When you choose to believe that good will come out of every experience, you’ll soon discover that perceived obstacles are really blessings in disguise. Sometimes these obstacles serve to nudge you in a new direction—one that will open up your world to magnificent experiences. Sometimes they help you become a stronger, better, and wiser you. Take all the positives you can out of each experience and choose to leave the negative feelings behind.<br />
Finally, ask yourself: <em>In which new direction would I like to head?</em> It’s important to understand that going with the flow doesn’t mean you drift aimlessly and allow the tide to determine where in your life you’ll end up. It’s fulfilling to decide where you want to go and then take the steps to get there.<br />
You can free yourself and go with the flow too: <em>Accept</em> the situation for what it is, <em>let go</em> of negative thoughts associated with it by trusting that good will come out of every experience, and <em>open up</em> to a change in direction. Allow the natural current of life to take you on a marvelous new adventure.<br />
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Courtesy http://positive-thoughts.typepad.com </div></div>Virag Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09701810232002379152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6828741106996891296.post-46732238938986537722011-04-04T22:55:00.000-07:002011-04-04T22:55:47.544-07:00Burden of care<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
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<tr><td class="articleHeading" style="color: black; font-weight: bold; padding-left: 5px;"><div class="articleHeading" id="divTitle" style="color: black; font-weight: bold; padding-left: 5px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Inner Voice - Burden of care</span></div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="articleLocation" style="color: #244879; font-weight: bold; padding-left: 5px;"><div class="art_location" id="divAuthor" style="color: black; font-weight: bold; padding-left: 5px; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">PP Wangchuk innervoice@hindustantimes.com</span></div><div class="art_location" id="divAuthor" style="color: black; font-weight: bold; padding-left: 5px; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="art_location" id="divAuthor" style="color: black; font-weight: bold; padding-left: 5px; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 20px; font-weight: normal;">We are all dogged by troubles because we care. If we don't care, our troubles will disap` pear and we would see reason to say that life is beautiful and enjoyable. But the word care does not mean the care to love, i respect and protect others. It means `care to not care' for the problems that cause our miseries. Why care for such a care?This is a key teaching of all religions. This has a vital part of Buddha's philosophy in particular. For instance, why care and kill our happiness when we're not going to get a particular thing? It is in this sense that one has to be careless about care.<br />
Buddha says the destruction of care and troubles is possible only if one knows and cares to see and reflect wisely at suffering and its causes as well as its cessation. There are other ways too on how to get rid of cares and troubles -by restraint, by `use', by endurance, by avoidance, by dispersal and by culture.<br />
Restraint involves contro over mind and sense organs One who has such restraint, i following the right path. By use', we mean the use of thing like clothes, food and shelte that do not add to our osten tatious living and but keeps u n perfect and good sense.<br />
The next is endurance which helps one put up with all kind of troubles like cold and heat hunger and thirst or any othe body or mental pain.<br />
One who has this quality pain is no pain and distress and pleasure is one and the same thing. Similarly, avoidance a a way of life of things that are not noble and useful keeps one away from going astray.<br />
The dispersal method involves rejection of harmfu action and thought.<br />
And, lastly, the most inter esting one is the culture method. One has to cultivate mindfulness, energy, joy, calm ness, concentration and equa nimity -all factors of enlight enment. Only then one can hope to be in bliss.</span></span></div><div class="art_location" id="divAuthor" style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; font-weight: bold; padding-left: 5px; text-decoration: none;"><br />
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</tbody></table>Virag Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09701810232002379152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6828741106996891296.post-14672089509517997072011-03-11T03:48:00.000-08:002011-03-11T03:48:43.535-08:00How to be happyHow to be happy<br />
<br />
<br />
<ul><li>Remove toxin emotion </li>
<li>Remove or offload resentment .... Resentment and begin Right sink lot of energy </li>
<li>Follow your passion </li>
<li>Do , what you love to do </li>
<li>Live in Now </li>
<li>connect to people ( not compare people )</li>
<li>Have a Goal </li>
<li><span class="dct-tt">ex·er·cise</span> </li>
<li>Whrite down your thought </li>
<li>Gratitude - Thanks to what you have ... focus 1/2 full glass </li>
<li>Reinvest yourself </li>
<li><br />
</li>
</ul>Virag Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09701810232002379152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6828741106996891296.post-74850740634077619762011-03-07T09:07:00.000-08:002011-03-07T09:07:32.018-08:00How you can respond<h1> How you can respond </h1><span>F</span>ocus not on making judgments about what has happened. Focus on how you can respond in a positive way that will create value from the situation. Life is always changing, and with every change comes new opportunity. Instead of fearing or fighting the changes that are already going on, look for the opportunities in them.<br />
Be clear about what you intend for your life and your world. When you look at what's going on around you through the filter of your intentions, you'll see plenty of great possibilities for fulfilling those intentions.<br />
Don't get sidetracked worrying or arguing about who is at fault or what could have been done differently. Put your energy into making good and meaningful use of what is.<br />
Find your comfort not in holding on to the past but in realizing that the future is yours to create as you wish. Know clearly and precisely what you want, and you'll see just how you can make use of what is, to bring about what you desire.<br />
There is something changing right now, and in that change is valuable opportunity being born. Open your eyes, take a deep breath, put a smile on your face, and make that opportunity your own.<br />
-- Ralph Marston<br />
<br />
<br />
<h1> The best you've ever been </h1><span>W</span>ith all its imperfections and challenges, today is still the best day yet. Though you may have known much love and joy and fulfillment in the past, you can experience even more today. <br />
For you can bring with you to this day the best of all you've ever known, and then you can add to its beauty. On top of that, you can leave behind the disappointments and limiting assumptions that have held you back, and free yourself to truly soar.<br />
<br />
Sure, there are problems that you will face. Yet you can face them with a lifetime of wisdom and experience, more today than you've ever had before.<br />
<br />
You're better prepared than ever to transform those problems into opportunities. And you're more determined than ever to transform the best of those opportunities into real, meaningful value.<br />
<br />
All of what you've been through has made you stronger and more capable, in ways that you're not even fully aware of yet. Today you can choose to use that ever-growing strength and ability in the service of your most treasured visions.<br />
<br />
Whatever else may be going on, in many important and powerful ways you're the best you've ever been. Grab the opportunity that is today, and make it into something great.<br />
<br />
-- Ralph Marston<br />
<br />
<br />
Visit > http://greatday.com , am sure , you will Love to read those articlesVirag Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09701810232002379152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6828741106996891296.post-14990828858731897562011-02-11T23:50:00.000-08:002011-02-11T23:50:38.593-08:00<table align="center" border="0" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="3" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 12px;"><tbody>
<tr><td><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial;"><tbody>
<tr><td><h1 class="largeheaders" style="color: #0066ff; font-family: Tahoma, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 1.3em; font-weight: bold; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: bottom; width: 435px;">Book Summary Preview : <strong><span style="color: #3366ff;"><span class="justblue">Success is a State of Mind</span></span></strong></h1><div style="text-align: left;">By Praveen Verma<br />
Wisdom Tree, 2004<br />
ISBN 81-86685-71-5<br />
208 pages</div></td><td></td><td><img border="0" height="150" src="http://bestsum.com/images/b_SuccessisaStateofMind-100.jpg" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial;" width="100" /></td></tr>
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<tr><td><h1 style="color: #0066ff; font-family: Tahoma, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 1.3em; font-weight: bold; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: bottom; width: 540px;"><strong>The Big Idea</strong></h1><div style="text-align: left;">There are three kinds of people – or perhaps it would be better to say that everyone falls into one of the following categories:</div><ul><li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">Those who wait for things to happen</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">Those who make things happen</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">Those who wonder what's happening</li>
</ul><div style="text-align: left;">Under which category do you fall? This is a question everyone needs to be able to answer, success and excellence are most likely to come to those who fall into the second category. But that is not to say that if you happen to fall under either of the other two, success is automatically out of your reach.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Your state of mind can help you orient yourself to success in this game called life. Success is really no more – and no less – than a state of mind.</div><h1 style="color: #0066ff; font-family: Tahoma, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 1.3em; font-weight: bold; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: bottom; width: 540px;"><strong>Why You Need This Book</strong></h1><div style="text-align: left;">When you realize that what is going on inside you determines your success, then you make another important realization. Success is a choice that you can make. This one realization has an amazing power that cannot be underemphasized.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Success is a decision. Make the decision and this book aims to help you implement your new choice. Success is an inside job.</div><h1 style="color: #0066ff; font-family: Tahoma, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 1.3em; font-weight: bold; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: bottom; width: 540px;"><strong>People Who Wait For Things to Happen</strong></h1><div style="text-align: left;">The Art of Living teaches us to be here now, in this moment. Think of all the wonderful things you have to be grateful of today. Your health, your job, your intellect, your physical body, your home, your friends – the list is as infinite as you are.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Take a moment to reflect, to embrace the real you, the true you that respects people and is creative, the true you that is sacred.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Pause for a moment! Breathe!</div><div style="text-align: left;">Listen to the song inside you – that wonderful resonance inside you that longs to be heard. Feeling present, feeling grounded, enjoying the moment and allowing you to be you!</div><div style="text-align: left;">As you make your way through your day, remember this feeling – the feeling that you have all that you need to fulfil your desires. You know that you are on the right path, embracing each moment for its sweetness and beauty, even if it seems difficult. As you do this, you will attract what you most passionately desire!</div><h1 style="color: #0066ff; font-family: Tahoma, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 1.3em; font-weight: bold; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: bottom; width: 540px;"><strong>People Who Make Things Happen</strong></h1><div style="text-align: left;">They are the real go-getters and the belief – borne out by experience – is that most successful persons in all areas of life fall into this category.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Like the people who wait for things to happen, these people also live in the present moment most of the time, but the difference between the first type and this type is that they can and do go back to the past. While they do look to the future, their actions revolve around the present moment.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Such people aim for two things in life:</div><ul><li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">Prosperity</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">Peace of mind</li>
</ul><div style="text-align: left;">They achieve this through the following steps:</div><ul><li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">Adopting a positive attitude</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">Taking life as a series of choices to be made</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">Setting goals and working towards achieving them</li>
</ul><div><br />
</div><div>From </div><div><br />
</div><div>################################</div><div><br />
</div><div><table align="center" border="0" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="3" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial;"><tbody>
<tr><td><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial;"><tbody>
<tr><td><h1 class="largeheaders" style="color: #0066ff; font-family: Tahoma, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 1.3em; font-weight: bold; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: bottom; width: 432px;"><strong><span style="color: #3366ff;"><span class="justblue">The Pleasure Prescription</span></span></strong></h1><div style="text-align: left;">By Paul Pearsall, Ph.D.<br />
Magna Publishing, 2004<br />
ISBN 81-7809-264-6<br />
232 pages</div></td><td> </td><td><img border="0" height="150" src="http://bestsum.com/images/b_ThePleasurePrescription-100.jpg" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial;" width="100" /></td></tr>
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<tr><td><h1 style="color: #0066ff; font-family: Tahoma, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 1.3em; font-weight: bold; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: bottom; width: 540px;"><strong>The Big Idea</strong></h1><div style="text-align: left;">Are you stressed and unhappy? Are you feeling burned out? Anxious? Unmotivated? Do you feel you have too much to do in too little time? You are not alone. More and more of people struggle with a lack of pleasure in their daily lives and the illness that go along with stress.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Take a Pleasure Prescription! Psychologist and author Paul Pearsall is an expert on the relationship between pleasure, stress, and the immune system. According to him, it isn’t too much stress but too little joy that is killing people.</div><div style="text-align: left;">We know more than we think we know, Dr. Pearsall reassures us, about what is good and healthy for us. He invites us to embrace a new contentment, and his compelling lessons gleaned from science and an age-old wisdom light the way.</div><h1 style="color: #0066ff; font-family: Tahoma, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 1.3em; font-weight: bold; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: bottom; width: 540px;"><strong>Why You Need This Book</strong></h1><div style="text-align: left;">This book shows how the latest research in physical and emotional health validates the Oceanic Way – the principles and practices of ancient Polynesian cultures. The five key components of this Way are patience, connection, pleasantness, modesty and tenderness.</div><h1 style="color: #0066ff; font-family: Tahoma, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 1.3em; font-weight: bold; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: bottom; width: 540px;"><strong>The Pleasure of Patience</strong></h1><div style="text-align: left;">There is a mental illness called cyclothymia. It is a type of “impatience madness,” and it refers to a person who is in a constant state of flux between lively, “up” moods and feelings of depression.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Cyclothymia has been called “the fine madness,” a mood disorder that relates to a sense of failed perfectionism and under-development of the seventh sense resulting in lack of daily life pleasure.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: black;"><strong>SYMPTOMS OF CYCLOTHYMIA</strong></span></div><ol><li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">Elevated self-esteem, accompanied by cynicism</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">Abundant energy to the point of agitation, followed by periods of complete fatigue and withdrawal</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">High productivity accompanied by periods of no motivation or direction</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">Distrust, discomfort and inability to receive compliments, perhaps because they serve as stimulants for even more effort</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">Impatience with others’ flaws and with one’s own</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">Excitability and quickness to anger</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">Strong convictions about the correctness and validity of their own views</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">Grandiosity to the point of poor judgment, accompanied by destructive impulsivity</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">Chaotic intimate personal and professional relationships</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">Disregard for personal health and safety, to the point of substance abuse, sexual promiscuity, reckless driving, and other life-threatening behaviors</li>
</ol><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: black;"><strong>PENNY FOR YOUR PATIENCE</strong></span></div><div style="text-align: left;">On the first day, place three pennies in a pocket, which you will now call your “patience pocket.” Every time you become impatient or irritated with yourself or others, reach into the pocket, gently turn one of the pennies between your forefinger and thumb, and count ten breaths without taking your hand out of the pocket. Then, take one of the pennies from the pocket and give it to someone, or leave it where someone can find it.</div><div style="text-align: left;">At the end of each day, see how many pennies you have left. If you still have pennies in your “patience pocket,” save them and add them to three in your pocket the next day.</div><div style="text-align: left;">If, as the week draws to a close, you begin to jingle as you walk, congratulate yourself on developing equanimity, and celebrate by taking your pile of pennies and putting them in a charity container!</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">##################################</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; font-size: 12px;"></span></div><table align="center" border="0" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="3" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial;"><tbody>
<tr><td><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial;"><tbody>
<tr><td><h1 class="largeheaders" style="color: #0066ff; font-family: Tahoma, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 1.3em; font-weight: bold; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: bottom; width: 440px;"><strong><span style="color: #3366ff;"><span class="justblue">Think Positive & Things Will Go Right</span></span></strong></h1><div style="text-align: left;">By A.K. Kamath<br />
Lotus Press, 2006<br />
ISBN 81-8382-087-5<br />
140 pages</div></td><td></td><td><img border="0" height="150" src="http://bestsum.com/images/b_ThinkPositiveThingsWillGoRight-100.jpg" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial;" width="100" /></td></tr>
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<tr><td><h1 style="color: #0066ff; font-family: Tahoma, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 1.3em; font-weight: bold; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: bottom; width: 540px;"><strong>The Big Idea</strong></h1><div style="text-align: left;">Positive thinking is the practice or result of concentrating one’s mind affirmatively on what is constructive and good, thereby eliminating from it negative or destructive thoughts and emotions. Whether it be about their business, family or health, the most fulfilled and successful individuals all think positively.</div><div style="text-align: left;">Since the concept of positive thinking has not been clearly defined, positive thinking usually is bypassed or used incorrectly and is often simply referred to as mere optimism. Those who do so run the risk of leaving out key aspects of positive thinking – a definite no-no if one wants to be successful.</div><h1 style="color: #0066ff; font-family: Tahoma, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 1.3em; font-weight: bold; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: bottom; width: 540px;"><strong>Why You Need This Book</strong></h1><div style="text-align: left;">This is an inspiring book that will help you create a positive change in your life. This concrete work on self-esteem and success will help you learn how to break the worry habit, get other people to like you, avoid ‘the jitters’ in your daily work, believe in your self and everything you do, develop the power to reach your goals, and so much more.</div><h1 style="color: #0066ff; font-family: Tahoma, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 1.3em; font-weight: bold; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: bottom; width: 540px;"><strong>Good Thoughts vs. Evil Thoughts</strong></h1><div style="text-align: left;">A good thought has three important applications:</div><ol><li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">It benefits the thinker by improving his mental body.</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">It benefits the person about whom it is entertained.</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">It benefits all mankind by improving the general mental atmosphere.</li>
</ol><div style="text-align: left;">An evil thought has three equivalent disadvantages:</div><ol><li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">It harms the thinker by doing injury to his mental body.</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">It harms the person who is its object.</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">It harms all mankind by vitiating the whole mental atmosphere.</li>
</ol><h1 style="color: #0066ff; font-family: Tahoma, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 1.3em; font-weight: bold; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: bottom; width: 540px;"><strong>Power of Positive Thinking</strong></h1><div style="text-align: left;">Positive thinking brings inner peace, success, improved relationships and better health. The daily affairs of life move more smoothly, life brightens up, and there is more happiness and satisfaction.</div><div style="text-align: left;">You need to develop a positive attitude toward life, expect a successful and beneficial outcome in whatever you do, and also take any necessary actions to ensure your success. It is not enough to think positively for a few moments, and then let fears and lack of belief enter your mind. Some effort and inner work are necessary.</div><div style="text-align: left;">You can develop a positive attitude that will lead you to happiness and success by following the guidelines given below:</div><ul><li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">Choose to be happy.</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">Look at the bright side of life.</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">Find reasons to smile more often.</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">Have faith in yourself and in the Power of the Universe.</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">Contemplate upon the futility of negative thinking and worries.</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">Associate with happy people.</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">Read inspiring stories.</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">Read inspiring quotes.</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">Repeat affirmations that inspire and motivate you.</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">Visualize only what you want to happen.</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">Learn to master your thoughts.</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;">Learn concentration and meditation.</li>
</ul><h1 style="color: #0066ff; font-family: Tahoma, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 1.3em; font-weight: bold; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: bottom; width: 540px;"><strong>Develop Positive Thinking</strong></h1><div style="text-align: left;">The first step in developing positive thinking is to change our inner conversations.</div><ul><li style="margin-bottom: 5px;"><strong>What should we be saying?</strong> One approach is called the three C’s: Commitment, Control and Challenge.</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;"><strong>Commitment :</strong> Make a positive commitment to yourself, to learning, work, family, friends, nature, and other worthwhile causes. Praise yourself and others. Dream of success. Be enthusiastic.</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;"><strong>Control :</strong> Keep your mind focused on important things. Set goals and priorities for what you think and do.</li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;"><strong>Challenge :</strong> Be courageous. Change and improve each day. Do your best and don’t look back. See learning and change as opportunities.</li>
</ul><div style="text-align: left;">Studies show that people with these characteristics are winners in good times and survivors in hard times. Positive thinking can change, enrich and transform your life. Just by becoming a positive thinker you can become a winner!</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
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</tbody></table>Virag Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09701810232002379152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6828741106996891296.post-60199661096484455712011-02-11T23:36:00.000-08:002011-02-11T23:36:16.443-08:00Wisdom in a Nutshell from Who Moved My Cheese?<div style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #666666; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px;"><strong>Wisdom in a Nutshell from Who Moved My Cheese?</strong></div><ul style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #666666; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px;"><li>Anticipate change.</li>
<li>Adapt quickly.</li>
<li>Enjoy change.</li>
<li>Be ready to change quickly, again and again.</li>
<li>Having Cheese makes you happy.</li>
<li>The more important your Cheese is to you, the more you want to hold on to it.</li>
<li>If you do not change, you can become extinct.</li>
<li>Ask yourself "What would I do if I weren't afraid?"</li>
<li>Smell the Cheese often so you know when it is getting old.</li>
<li>Movement in a new direction helps you find New Cheese.</li>
<li>When you move beyond your fear, you feel free.</li>
<li>Imagining myself enjoying New Cheese, even before I find it, leads me to it.</li>
<li>The quicker you let go of old cheese, the sooner you find New Cheese.</li>
<li>It is safer to search in the maze than remain in a cheeseless situation.</li>
<li>Old beliefs do not lead you to New Cheese.</li>
<li>When you see that you can find and enjoy New Cheese, you change course.</li>
<li>Noticing small changes early helps you adapt to the bigger changes that are to come.</li>
<li>Read the Handwriting on the Wall</li>
<li>Change happens. They keep moving the Cheese.</li>
<li>Move with the Cheese and enjoy it! ...</li>
</ul><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; font-size: 12px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; font-size: 12px;"><br />
</span></span></div>Virag Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09701810232002379152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6828741106996891296.post-12713501000654581072011-02-10T06:12:00.000-08:002011-02-10T06:12:38.747-08:00Attitude is Everything<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px;"></span><br />
<h1 class="header" id="ctl00_cphContent_ctl01_header" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(221, 221, 221); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; color: #ce0002; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 25px; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0.8em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.8em; padding-bottom: 0.8em; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 25px;">Attitude</span> is Everything <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 9px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 20px;">By <strong style="font-size: 9px; font-style: normal; font-weight: bold;">Jim Rohn </strong></span></h1><div class="Blog yui-u first" style="border-bottom-color: red; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-color: red; border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-color: red; border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-color: red; border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 0px; float: left; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; width: 500px;"><div class="BlogArticle jimrohn" id="ctl00_cphContent_ctl02_ctl00_pnlBlogArticle" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><div class="BlogContent" style="font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><div style="font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 2em !important; margin-left: 0px !important; margin-right: 0px !important; margin-top: 2em !important; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">The process of human change begins within us. We all have tremendous potential. We all desire good results from our efforts. Most of us are willing to work hard and to pay the price that success and happiness demand.<br style="font-size: 12px;" /><br style="font-size: 12px;" />Each of us has the ability to put our unique human potential into action and to acquire a desired result. But the one thing that determines the level of our potential, that produces the intensity of our activity, and that predicts the quality of the result we receive is our attitude.<br style="font-size: 12px;" /><br style="font-size: 12px;" />Attitude determines how much of the future we are allowed to see. It decides the size of our dreams and influences our determination when we are faced with new challenges. No other person on earth has dominion over our attitude. People can affect our attitude by teaching us poor thinking habits or unintentionally misinforming us or providing us with negative sources of influence, but no one can control our attitude unless we voluntarily surrender that control.<br style="font-size: 12px;" /><br style="font-size: 12px;" />No one else "makes us angry." We make ourselves angry when we surrender control of our attitude. What someone else may have done is irrelevant. We choose, not they. They merely put our attitude to a test. If we select a volatile attitude by becoming hostile, angry, jealous or suspicious, then we have failed the test. If we condemn ourselves by believing that we are unworthy, then again, we have failed the test.<br style="font-size: 12px;" /><br style="font-size: 12px;" />If we care at all about ourselves, then we must accept full responsibility for our own feelings. We must learn to guard against those feelings that have the capacity to lead our attitude down the wrong path and to strengthen those feelings that can lead us confidently into a better future.<br style="font-size: 12px;" /><br style="font-size: 12px;" />If we want to receive the rewards the future holds in trust for us, then we must exercise the most important choice given to us as members of the human race by maintaining total dominion over our attitude. Our attitude is an asset, a treasure of great value, which must be protected accordingly. Beware of the vandals and thieves among us who would injure our positive attitude or seek to steal it away.<br style="font-size: 12px;" /><br style="font-size: 12px;" />Having the right attitude is one of the basics that success requires. The combination of a sound personal philosophy and a positive attitude about ourselves and the world around us gives us an inner strength and a firm resolve that influences all the other areas of our existence.</div><div style="font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 2em !important; margin-left: 0px !important; margin-right: 0px !important; margin-top: 2em !important; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Source <a href="http://www.greatminds.ie/Attitude_is_Everything/Default.641.html">http://www.greatminds.ie/Attitude_is_Everything/Default.641.html</a></div></div></div></div>Virag Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09701810232002379152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6828741106996891296.post-18142952315778851242011-02-08T20:23:00.001-08:002011-02-08T20:24:44.078-08:00Affirmation<div style="text-align: center;"><u><b>Affirmation </b></u></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">"In the middle of difficulty, lies oppurtunity ~Albert Einstein" <br />
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Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future. <br />
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"You get the best out of others when you give the best of yourself." Harry Firestone<br />
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A little extra effort can bring your life to a much higher level. Once you've done what must be done, do a little more.<br />
We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves. <br />
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.<br />
~ Dalai Lama<br />
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Who you are and what you do will always speak far more convincingly than the words you have to say.<br />
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I am responsible for what I think #SOL <br />
Good mental habits: Explore every thought in depth. <br />
Weed out prejudices and personal biases. Be above the drama of the situation <br />
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Rather than looking for reasons to deny it, simply allow joy to flow from you.<br />
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"It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities" <br />
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Daily Morning Motivator Don't use the hardships of your past as excuses to deny the possibilities of your future. ~ Robin Sharma<br />
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When people go out of their way to say something rude and hateful to you, they're just trying to heal their own misery. Forgive them - Virag We attract to ourselves what we hold inside.<br />
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The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything they have.<br />
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Drop everything you're clinging to & keep walking. What remains is what's meant to stay ~ what goes is what was in your way. (Dee Foster)<br />
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Satisfaction is characterized by inner peace. It arises frm generosity,honesty a way of behaving that respects others’ right to be happy.<br />
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The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything they have.<br />
<br />
Let one guard oneself against irritability in thought;<br />
let one be controlled in mind.<br />
Abandoning mental misconduct,<br />
let one practice good conduct in thought.<br />
Let one guard oneself against irritability in speech;let one be controlled in speech.Abandoning verbal misconduct,let one practice good conduct in speech. :- Buddha<br />
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When you focus on what you WANT, you often get it. When you dwell on what you DON’T WANT, you often get that! <br />
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Awakening to your Life's Purpose by Eckhart Tolle<br />
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<br />
We must learn how to identify the opposing sides in our inner conflicts. Take anger: we need to see how destructive it is and at the same time, realize there are antidotes within our own thoughts and emotions that can counter it. So by understanding how negative it is and then by strengthening our positive thoughts and emotions, we can gradually reduce the force of our anger and hatred. - Dalai Lama<br />
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Satisfaction is characterized by inner peace. It arises from generosity, honesty and what I call ethical conduct, a way of behaving that respects others’ right to be happy. Dalai Lama<br />
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The greatest thing in the world is not so much where we are, but in what direction we are moving<br />
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that when you are unsure how to proceed, stop. Be still and enter into the silence. Allow your mind to cease its restless thinking. Wait. Let the answer come in its time.<br />
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"Most people treat the present moment as if it were an obstacle that they need to overcome. Since the present moment is Life itself, it is an insane way to live." :- Eckhart Tolle<br />
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Who AM I , what is really important.<br />
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The Universe is not punishing you or blessing you. The Universe is responding to the vibrational attitude that you are emitting. The more joyful you are, the more Well-being flows to you If you judge people, you have no time to love them.<br />
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“Life loves me and it is safe for me to love myself.” “Life loves me and I am safe.”<br />
<br />
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At least three times every day take a moment and ask yourself what is really important. Have the wisdom and the courage to build your life around your answer.<br />
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The life you've been living is a reflection of the thoughts you've been thinking<br />
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The happiest people don't worry too much about whether life is fair or not. They just get on with it.<br />
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BAD TEMPER IS WORST THEN Bad fortune <br />
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Everytime you indulge in guilt,you are setting a limitation.If you hurt someone, say you are sorry and don't hurt the person anymore.Don't walk around feeling guilty because it keeps you locked out from experiencing your good and has nothing to do with the reality of your true being.-Louise Hay -ak-<br />
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Try to show a little flexibility today -- you've got to make sure that your family and coworkers see the right side of you. It's a good time for you to just go with the flow, if at all possible. <br />
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If we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything is ready, we shall never begin.<br />
- Ivan Turgenev<br />
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Do you ever tell people things like: "I'm FAT, I'm BORING! I'm HOPELESS!” Don’t! It irritates people. <br />
If you have nothing good to say about yourself, say nothing. Self criticism isn’t humility, it’s stupidity.<br />
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People who call themselves 'LUCKY' smile more, talk to more people, make more friends and persist more often – which proves its not luck!<br />
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I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.<br />
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Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.<br />
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I love the people who keep a smile when they have every right to break down !!!!!!!!!!!!!<br />
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"Do not fear going forward slowly; fear only to stand still." -- Chinese Proverb<br />
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"Life is a lot more fun if you treat its challenges in creative ways." -Bill Gates<br />
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Life is never complicated. We often think much of it and make it complicated. Obstacles do come in the way of life and yet we have to learn to equally divide matters, overcoming the obstacles.<br />
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Be flexible. Adjust to others' temperaments. And don't take things personally. <br />
Quality about u , u like most.<br />
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Don't go preaching to your pals. Each person will make up their own mind, in time. <br />
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How do you expect others to know what you want if you don't make it clear? <br />
Your indecisive , should become load for over react????<br />
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Never talk in TENSION &/Or Anger .... other might take it other way and may use against you <br />
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You only lose what you cling to <br />
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We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world.<br />
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Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world <br />
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may i be happy <br />
May i be in safe<br />
may i be Healthy <br />
may i be in Joy <br />
May i be , live in peace <br />
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Write you Objective on paper<br />
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your current life, your current circumstances, your current reality, your current state of affairs, is the outcome of The Law of Attraction from your past, it is the effect from causes (thoughts) in your past (this and other incarnations) and these effects also come from The Law of Attraction ... the power of gratitude and appreciation stands above anything if there is any pattern you would like to change …<br />
<br />
<br />
whatever feelings you have within you are attraction your tomorrow … … thus worry attracts more worry; <br />
anxiety attracts more anxiety; unhappiness attracts more unhappiness; dissatisfaction attracts more dissatisfaction ... … <br />
thus joy attracts more joy; happiness attracts more happiness; peace attracts more peace;gratitude attracts more <br />
gratitude; kindness attracts more kindness; love attracts more love ...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
to change your world, all you have to do is to change whatever feelings you have within you …<br />
… to change whatever feelings you have within you, all you have to do is to change your thoughts …<br />
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Sometimes you think you know best. You may even be right. But bossiness won't help. <br />
VYou're always a sucker for a persuasive argument. Expect your mind to change today.<br />
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Take a time-out before reacting to something that gets you all hot under the collar. <br />
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in life we all have an unspeakable secret,an irreversible regret,an unreachable dream nd an unforgettable love. All have there share for link-up , allowed to have past.<br />
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“Life loves me and it is safe for me to love myself.” “Life loves me and I am safe.”<br />
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It is when life feels</div>Virag Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09701810232002379152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6828741106996891296.post-70530359212592833212011-02-08T20:21:00.001-08:002011-02-08T20:21:39.290-08:00Top 10: Proven Ways To Improve Your Relationship<h1>Top 10: Proven Ways To Improve Your Relationship</h1>These 10 tips are scientifically proven, so they're guaranteed to work.<br />
By Farah Averill, <br />
<h2>Page 1: </h2>Do you feel like your relationship isn’t quite what it used to be? To help you revive your relationship, we’ve reviewed a serious body of research to bring you the 10 most powerful, scientifically proven ways to improve virtually <a href="http://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating/top-10-worst-case-relationship-scenarios.html" title="any relationship">any relationship</a>. These tips also happen to be the key ingredients that go into making a good relationship work, so even if you think everything’s great, you can use this list as a diagnostic tool to make sure you and your partner are on the road to relationship bliss.<br />
<h2>Page 2: Solidify your friendship</h2>How satisfied you feel in your relationship has to do with how connected you feel to your partner. Research suggests that our ability to connect with others (our attachment style) is influenced by our childhood experiences. According to Prior and Glasser (2006), 65% of children can be classified as having a secure attachment style, with the remaining 35% having an insecure attachment style.<br />
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As an adult, an insecure attachment style is associated with a slew of relationship troubles, including <a href="http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_60/78_dating_advice.html" title="jealousy">jealousy</a>, obsession, and emotional highs and lows. The good news is that, regardless of your present pattern, you can become more securely attached, or connected, to your partner by developing a deeper friendship. To do that, incrementally spend more time with her doing something you both enjoy. Also, regularly ask for updates on your partner’s likes, dislikes, current stressors, and new interests, as people change over time.<br />
<h2>Page 3: Appreciate each other</h2>Remember when you first started dating, how you used to go that extra mile to impress her? Well, one of the secrets to a long, fulfilling relationship is to continue to actively appreciate your partner. You don’t necessarily have to pull out all the stops the way you did back in the day, but regular efforts to show your partner that you appreciate her will do wonders for improving your relationship.<br />
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If you’re not sure where to start, a good place is by doling out daily <a href="http://www.askmen.com/dating/player_250/250_love_games.html" title="compliments">compliments</a>. Tell her she looks hot or thank her for organizational abilities when she reminds you to call your mother. The only rule is to make sure that you genuinely mean what you say.<br />
<h2>Page 4: Concentrate on the present to ensure your future</h2>Interestingly, the ability of your relationship to weather tough times has a lot to do with your mutual availability in the here and now. Unfortunately, over time, for a variety of reasons, many couples move further apart from each other, meaning that when a rough patch hits, their relationship doesn’t survive. To build a rock-solid relationship, start by acknowledging rather than ignoring the ordinary moments in your relationship. If your partner wants to share something she’s reading on the net, for example, take a minute to <a href="http://www.askmen.com/money/career_300/364_how-to-listen-simon-sinek.html" title="listen">listen</a>, even if you simply grunt in response. It may sound strange, but if you accumulate enough of the little things, when you really need your partner, you’ll find she’s there for you.<br />
<h2>Page 5: Don't distort</h2>Researchers have known for a long time that unhappy couples focus on the negatives in their relationships. An early study by Robinson and Price (1980) found that unhappy couples underestimated the occurrence of pleasurable events in their relationships by 50%. Also, Fincham, Beach and Baucom (1987) found that individuals in distressed relationships were prone to attributing negative intentions to their partner’s behavior.<br />
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If you find yourself <a href="http://www.askmen.com/money/body_and_mind_100/142_better_living.html" title="stuck in this rut">stuck in this rut</a> of distorted thinking, the next time you have a negative thought about something your partner has done try to come up with a more neutral explanation for her actions. Another strategy is to consider whether you would judge yourself so harshly if the situation were reversed. Finally, remind yourself often of the good times you’ve spent together recently.<br />
<h2>Page 6: Share power</h2>When a man is not willing to share power with his relationship partner, John Gottman’s research indicates there is an 81% chance that his relationship will self-destruct. While hoarding power may have got you ahead in your <a href="http://www.askmen.com/money/career/" title="career">career</a>, this strategy will backfire in your relationship because your girlfriend will end up feeling like her opinions aren’t valuable and she doesn’t matter to you. To help save your relationship, develop a more accepting attitude toward compromise. Practice by giving in on issues you don’t feel extremely invested in.<br />
<h2>Page 7: Find common goals</h2>A study conducted in collaboration with a dating site in the UK found that 13% of couples reported no longer having the same goals. This situation represents a ticking time bomb, as research has shown that couples who share dreams and goals have longer-lasting, more <a href="http://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating/ways-to-keep-a-relationship-interesting.html" title="satisfying relationships">satisfying relationships</a>. If you feel like you’ve been out of sync lately with your partner on this front, discuss your philosophy of life together. The aim is for both of you to share what you want your life to be about, where you want to end up and what these things mean to you. Look for anything that’s common between the two of you and talk about ways to work toward that aspiration together.<br />
<h2>Page 8: Understand anger</h2>While outbursts of anger are common even in healthy relationships, when <a href="http://www.askmen.com/money/body_and_mind_150/152_better_living.html" title="anger">anger</a> becomes an entrenched part of your couple life, you should be concerned. Sue Johnson, master therapist and pioneer of emotion-focused therapy, an empirically validated treatment for distressed relationships, refers to anger as a secondary emotion. Her theory holds that other (primary) emotions, such as sadness or a fear of being abandoned, can be found behind an angry front.<br />
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Think back to the last argument you had with your partner and use this new knowledge to look for hidden messages in what you and your partner were each trying to communicate. Attempting to disregard the angry tone you both used and trying to tune in to what you were each really trying to say will help you to see that you both have needs in your relationship that make sense. For instance, “You’re a workaholic!” might really mean “I miss you and want to spend more time with you.”<br />
<h2>Page 9: Break negative cycles</h2>Troubled relationships tend to follow a demand-withdraw pattern. That means that one person tends to be more critical and demanding, while the other tends to withdraw or shut down in response to conflict. Douglas Tilley, a proponent of emotion-focused therapy, notes that 85% of the time men tend to be the withdrawer. The reason may be biological -- men’s <a href="http://www.askmen.com/sports/bodybuilding/29_fitness_tip.html" title="cardiovascular">cardiovascular</a> systems are more responsive to stress, so tuning out your mate is an attempt to avoid uncomfortable sensations. To break the negative pattern of conflict in your relationship, next time things get heated, let your partner know what’s going on with you by saying: “I can see this issue is important to you. I’m feeling too angry to discuss it right now, though, so let’s come back to it once we’ve cooled off.”<br />
<h2>Page 10: Focus on what's fixable</h2>As long as an argument doesn’t leave you feeling like you’ve been through an emotional roller coaster, consider it fixable. One major area that causes tension in relationships is <a href="http://www.askmen.com/money/investing/" title="finances">finances</a>, with a longitudinal study by economist Jay Zagorsky finding that 33% of couples have seriously divergent views on income, wealth and debts. In particular, the initial stages of living together may be especially fraught with monetary concerns. So that this problem doesn’t spiral out of control, sit down with your other half and craft a detailed action plan, consulting any resources that might help to get your finances on track. You should both be able to live with the new arrangement or it won’t work. Use this method to address any other problems in your life that you deem fixable.<br />
<h2>Page 11: Accept the unsolvable</h2>Unfortunately, according to relationship scientist John Gottman, 69% of relationship conflicts are persistent problems, meaning they revolve around issues that tend to resurface no matter how long you’ve been together. If you find a problem seems to call up painful <a href="http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_200/222_dating_advice.html" title="emotions">emotions</a>, you’re looking at one that’s persistent.<br />
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To stop this trouble from ruining your relationship, you’ll need to address the bigger issues underlying your difficulty. Take turns discussing with your partner what this loaded issue really means to you. When your partner is talking, your job is to listen, be nonjudgmental and to find something in her perspective that makes sense to you. When it’s your turn to talk, she should be doing the same thing. By treading more gently into touchy areas, you should at least be able to agree to disagree or make some small concessions for one another.<br />
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<b><i>Check out more dating top 10s like <a href="http://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating/top-10-simple-ways-to-become-a-better-lover.html" title="Top 10: Simple Ways To Become A Better Lover">Top 10: Simple Ways To Become A Better Lover</a> and <a href="http://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating/top-10-ways-a-good-woman-improves-you.html" title="Top 10: Ways A Good Woman Improves You">Top 10: Ways A Good Woman Improves You</a></i></b>Virag Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09701810232002379152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6828741106996891296.post-15126859383300479562011-02-08T20:19:00.001-08:002011-02-08T20:19:49.880-08:00The 12 Worst Relationship Mindsets: Which Are YOU Guilty Of?The 12 Worst Relationship Mindsets: Which Are YOU Guilty Of?<br />
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In cognitive therapy we focus on the way that you think about things. When we are distressed, we have automatic thoughts -- that is, thoughts that come to us spontaneously, seem true and generally go unexamined. Sometimes your thoughts are accurate; sometimes they are biased. But the first thing to do is to identify what you are thinking. Look at the list of typical thoughts that distressed couples have and ask yourself if any of these are true for you. You can also consider alternative ways to view what is going on -- as I suggest below. Sometimes we get stuck in the way we think and then withdraw, attack or give up. The first question to ask is, "Is there a different way to think about this?"<br />
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<u><b>Labeling</b></u><br />
You attribute a negative personality trait to your partner, leading you to believe that he or she can never change: "He's passive-aggressive"; "She's neurotic." As an alternative, rather than label your partner, you can look for "variability" in his behavior. "Sometimes he withdraws and sometimes he interacts with me. Let me ask him what might lead him to withdraw."<br />
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Fortune-telling<br />
You forecast the future and predict that things will never get better, leaving you feeling helpless and hopeless: "He'll never change"; "I'll always be unhappy in my marriage." An alternative to this is to focus on specific things that you can say or do now -- such as the exercises described in this piece. Another good option is to look back at positive experiences that you have to challenge your idea that nothing will improve. You can also play a little game called "Catch Your Partner Being Good." Just list every positive every day and then share it with each other. You might be surprised what you are doing that is working already -- if you only noticed.<br />
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<u><b>Mind-reading</b></u><br />
You interpret your partner's motivations as hostile or selfish on the basis of very little evidence: "You don't care how I feel"; "You're saying that because you're trying to get back at me." Rather than engaging in mind-reading, you can ask your partner what he meant or how she is feeling. Sometimes it's beneficial to give your partner the benefit of the doubt: "She's simply taking a little time to unwind" is a better interpretation than "He doesn't find me interesting."<br />
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Catastrophic Thinking<br />
You treat conflict or problems as if they indicate that the world has ended or that your marriage is a disaster: "I can't stand her nagging"; "It's awful that we haven't had sex recently." A better way of looking at this is that all couples face problems -- some of them quite upsetting. Rather than look at an obstacle or a problem as "terrible," you might validate that it is difficult for both of you but that it is also an opportunity to learn new skills in communicating and interacting. Problems can be learning experiences and can provide some new ways to grow.<br />
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<u><b>Emotional Reasoning</b></u><br />
You feel depressed and anxious, and you conclude that your emotions indicate that your marriage is a failure. "We must have a terrible marriage because I'm unhappy"; "I don't have the same feelings toward him that I used to; therefore, we're no longer in love." A better way of looking at your emotions is that your feelings may go up and down, depending on what you and your partner are doing. Emotions are changeable and don't always tell you about how good things can be. It's also important to ask yourself, "What are we doing when we feel better together?" Then do more of those positives.<br />
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<u><b>Negative Filter</b></u><br />
You focus on the few negative experiences in your relationship and fail to recognize or recall the positives. You probably bring up past history in a series of complaints that sounds like you're putting your partner on trial: "You were rude to me last week"; "You talked to that other person and ignored me entirely." This is where "Catch Your Partner Doing Good" is so helpful -- it allows you to look at things without the dark lens on. You can also keep a list of positives about your partner to remind you to put the "negatives" in perspective. We all do dumb things at times, but it's useful to take off the negative filter and remind ourselves of the positives.<br />
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<u><b>All-or-Nothing Thinking</b></u><br />
You describe your interactions as being all good or all bad without examining the possibility that some experiences with your partner are positive: "You're never kind toward me"; "You never show affection"; "You're always negative." Whenever you use the words "always" and "never," try assuming that you are wrong. For example, when Phyllis began looking for positives from Ralph, she realized that he was affectionate at times and that he was rewarding to her as well. The best way to test out your distorted and biased negative thinking is to look at the facts. Maybe the facts aren't as terrible as they seem to be.<br />
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<u><b>Discounting the Positive</b></u><br />
You may recognize the positive things in your relationship but disregard them: "That's what a wife or husband should do"; "Well, so what that he did that? It means nothing?"; "These are trivial things that you're talking about." Every positive should be counted -- it's the only way to build up good will. In fact, if you start counting the positives rather than discounting them, they will no longer seem trivial to both of you. Vinnie was happy to learn that the very little things that he was doing, like complimenting Cynthia, made a big difference to her. This in turn made him less critical. And Vinnie began keeping track of Cynthia's positives, which helped him recognize that an occasional negative -- which was probably due to depression -- was outweighed by the many good things in their relationship.<br />
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<u><b>Shoulds</b></u><br />
You have a list of "commandments" about your relationship and condemn yourself (when you're depressed) or your partner (when you're angry) for not living up to your "should." There is no end to these nagging negative thoughts. Here are a few typical examples.<br />
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"My partner should always know what I want without my asking."<br />
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"If my partner doesn't do what I want her to do, I should punish her."<br />
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"I shouldn't ever be unhappy (bored, angry, etc.) with my partner."<br />
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"I shouldn't have to work at a relationship; it should come naturally."<br />
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"I shouldn't have to wait for change; it should come immediately."<br />
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"My partner should change first."<br />
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"It's all his fault, so why should I change?"<br />
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"If I don't get my way, I should complain (pout, withdraw, give up, etc.)."<br />
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"Our sex life should always be fantastic."<br />
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"If I'm attracted to other people, it means that I shouldn't stay in this marriage."<br />
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"I should try to win in all our conflicts."<br />
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"My partner should accept me just the way I am."<br />
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"If we're having problems it means we have an awful relationship."<br />
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Now, be honest with yourself. Are these "shoulds" helping or hurting you and your relationship? I guarantee that if you have a lot of them, you are pretty unhappy. Rather than talk about the way things "should" be, you might consider how you can make things better. Replace your shoulds with "how to" and "let's try." Rather than "We should have a better sex life," you might try action statements such as "We can give each other a massage" or "We can set up a time to be affectionate." You won't make progress by "shoulding" on each other. But you can make progress by acting differently and communicating in a caring way.<br />
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<u><b>Personalizing</b></u><br />
You attribute your partner's moods and behavior to something about yourself, or you take all the blame for the problems: "He's in a bad mood because of me"; "If it weren't for me, we wouldn't have any of these problems." It's almost never all about one person; it takes two to tango and two to be miserable. Phyllis was doing a lot of personalizing, thinking that Ralph wanted to be alone because he found her boring. But really Ralph was so burned out at the end of the day that he needed a little while to cool down. It wasn't about Phyllis; it was about Ralph's day.<br />
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<u><b>Perfectionism</b></u><br />
You hold up a standard for a relationship that is unrealistically high and then measure your relationship by this standard. "It's not like it was in the first year, so it's not worth it"; "We have problems, so our relationship can't work out." The problem with perfectionism is that it is bound to make you miserable. You may think that you are holding up your ideals, but you are really putting you and your partner down. No relationship is perfect -- and no relationship needs to be perfect. Once Vinnie and Cynthia recognized how futile and depressing perfectionism was, they were able to work constructively on their relationship. "I realized that we would never have exactly what we wanted from each other, but we could still get a lot our needs met," Vinnie finally said. It was a breakthrough to give up on having to be perfect and demanding the same from Cynthia.<br />
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<u><b>Blaming</b></u><br />
You believe that all the problems in the relationship are caused by your partner: "If it weren't for her, we wouldn't have these problems"; "He argues with me; that's why we can't get along." Again, there is a grain of truth in almost any negative thought, but blaming your partner will make you feel helpless and trapped. A better way of approaching this is to take a "Let's fix it together" approach. You can validate each other, share responsibility for the problems, plan to catch each other being good, reward each other, plan positives together, and accept some differences. It sure beats blaming each other and becoming victims.<br />
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For more ideas, see<br />
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"Beat the Blues Before They Beat You: How to Overcome Depression"<br />
<br />
by Robert L. Leahy, Ph.D.<br />
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Follow Robert Leahy, Ph.D. on Twitter:<br />
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www.twitter.com/AICTCognitiveVirag Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09701810232002379152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6828741106996891296.post-61368742331131515622011-01-06T20:10:00.000-08:002011-02-07T04:48:24.930-08:00Love Yourself<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; color: rgb(115, 114, 114); line-height: 20px; "><p style="padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 5px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">Hello GlobalGrinders!</p><p style="padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 5px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">It has been quite a while since I've last talked with you guys. I have a subject that's near and dear to my heart that I want to talk to you guys about. Over the last couple years of my life, I've really been learning how to love myself. This is something that I've seen a lot of people struggle with. And that's because i feel we don't give ourselves enough time to be with ourselves. In other words, make sure that you're doing things that you really want to do with your life. </p><p style="padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 5px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">I can't stress the importance of getting to know yourself on a daily basis. Make sure that you are really making yourself happy. What is most important is identifying with what it is that makes you happy. Over the last couple of years of my life I've learned there were a couple of times where I was doing what everyone else wanted me to do, but without even noticing that. Sometimes we get so caught up in doing what makes others happy that we forget the simple things that make us happy. I just wanted to share this because I want to make sure you don't waste your life doing and meeting everyone's needs but your own. </p><p style="padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 5px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">The key to making yourself happy is making sure you're in a career field you want to be in. That's number one. Because at the end of the day, who wants an unhappy doctor working on them if you know what I mean? It's about doing your job for free. Only because you love it that much. Number 2 is making sure you have time to yourself at some point in your day. Sitting down and meditating. You have to slow your day down, our minds think so quickly and so much. </p><p style="padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 5px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">Overall I'm here to say, take care of yourself. Life is so short. I wouldn't want anyone to miss their calling. Laugh a lot, and love even more. Once it's all over, at least you can say you lived your life! </p><p style="padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 5px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">Love,</p><p style="padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 5px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><a href="http://twitter.com/ANGELASIMMONS" target="_blank" style="padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-decoration: none; color: rgb(56, 163, 72); font-weight: bold; ">-Angela Simmons</a></p></span>Virag Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09701810232002379152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6828741106996891296.post-11087364109826224272010-10-12T20:52:00.000-07:002011-02-07T04:48:24.940-08:0014 Secrets Of Happy Couples<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; color: rgb(50, 50, 50); line-height: 17px; "><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">Sometimes the biggest problem that couples in our country face is the lack of communication. There is always a mind-block; a sense of embarrassment to share thoughts and feelings, especially once the physical intimacy sets in. But as this <a href="http://in.yfittopostblog.com/2010/10/12/14-secrets-of-happy-couples/www.shine.yahoo.com" target="_blank" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; text-decoration: none; color: rgb(51, 68, 153); ">Shine.com</a> story will tell you, the biggest secret to having a happy relationship is having a wholesome communication with your partner.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">Take a look at some crucial steps to have a satisfying relationship as on <a href="http://shine.yahoo.com/blog/D6AAZ2NHDNL4Y3D3KAMYGWXMQY/" target="_blank" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; text-decoration: none; color: rgb(51, 68, 153); ">HybridMom</a>:</p><blockquote style="margin-top: 10px; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 10px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 12px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 12px; border-left-width: 1px; border-left-style: solid; border-left-color: rgb(165, 171, 171); "><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><strong style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">1. Communicate</strong> – not just about your feelings – but about your day. Share stories with one another about what is going on at work or in a friend’s life; share what you saw on the news or in a magazine with your significant other if you found it interesting. Discussing regular day to day occurrences is just as important as staying in tune with each others’ feelings. It keeps you in tune with your spouse on a daily basis.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><strong style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">2. Take showers together</strong> – it doesn’t have to be sexual! My husband and I have done this from the beginning of our relationship, did it start out sexual? Probably. But over time it became an intimate thing, just extra time that we can spend together catching up on the day – it just happens that we are naked and in the shower!</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><strong style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">3. Go to the park and swing, slide or just play</strong> – it’s a young and fun thing to do. It keeps you playful and is a great way to relieve stress. Real life can get so with overwhelming with work, kids, bills, laundry, chores – sometimes a play break is what’s needed to alleviate all of that, even if it’s only for half an hour.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><strong style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">4. Take walks</strong> – morning walks are a great way to start your day, not a morning person? Take an evening walk. Getting fresh air and exercise together is good for your health and the health of your relationship. Walking relieves stress, keeps you fit and allows quality time to be spent together.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><strong style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">5. Date nights</strong> – put everything on hold for an hour or two and plan on just doing something alone with your spouse. It can be dinner, a walk, the mall, whatever, just make the time for just the two of you with no one else around, catch up on your day or week or just joke around and have fun. But making time for just the two of you is important.</p></blockquote><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">To read the rest of the pointers, go to: <strong style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><a href="http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/14-ways-to-keep-your-relationship-happy-2395345/;_ylt=Au2qW6DjZ4H4MIGriyg.COuDbqU5" target="_blank" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; text-decoration: none; color: rgb(51, 68, 153); ">14 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Happy</a></strong></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">Another piece I was reading on <a href="http://yahoo.match.com/" target="_blank" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; text-decoration: none; color: rgb(51, 68, 153); ">Match.com</a> offered similar advice. Here’s their most compelling point.<strong style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "></strong></p><blockquote style="margin-top: 10px; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 10px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 12px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 12px; border-left-width: 1px; border-left-style: solid; border-left-color: rgb(165, 171, 171); "><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><strong style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">Habit #2: Fight fair</strong></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">Believe it or not, learning to fight right is an important part of keeping chemistry alive. Why? Because if you are constantly cutting each other down, it’s hard to feel mutually amorous. “There is no such thing as a relationship without disagreements,” says David Wygant, author of <em style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">Always Talk to Strangers</em>. “But if there is an understanding that your partner can come to you with any dissension without being attacked, you will have an honest relationship comprised of ‘open discussions’ rather than ‘fights.’” Debra Tobias, who has been happily married for almost 10 years to her husband Steve, agrees. “Steve and I have learned to listen to each other when we’re upset and we admit when we’re wrong,” says Tobias. “We also make a rule of never, ever saying ‘I told you so’ no matter how much we might want to say it.” The result is that their chemistry doesn’t wane because they never let their arguments escalate to a personal level. Focus on the issue at hand instead of throwing verbal punches.</p></blockquote><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">To read the rest of the story, go to: <strong style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><a href="http://yahoo.match.com/cp.aspx?cpp=/cppp/yahoo/article.html&articleid=9795&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=705664&ER=sessiontimeout" target="_blank" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; text-decoration: none; color: rgb(51, 68, 153); ">6 habits that keep couples happy</a></strong></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><strong style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">Also read: </strong><a href="http://in.yfittopostblog.com/2010/08/11/is-fighting-really-good-for-your-relationship/" target="_blank" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; text-decoration: none; color: rgb(51, 68, 153); ">Is fighting good for your relationship?</a></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">How do you keep your relationship happy? Leave your comments below.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">Follow me on Twitter (<strong style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">@KhrisBlogs</strong>) for more relationship and lifestyle stories.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">To read my blogs, <strong style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><a href="http://in.yfittopostblog.com/author/khrisp/" target="_blank" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; text-decoration: none; color: rgb(51, 68, 153); ">click here</a></strong>.</p></span>Virag Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09701810232002379152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6828741106996891296.post-69418333484809649222010-09-25T04:56:00.000-07:002011-02-07T04:48:24.946-08:00The Ultimate Happiness Prescription 7 Keys to Joy and Enlightenment Read more at Suite101: The Ultimate Happiness Prescription; A Review: Happiness G<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; "><h3 class="dynamic" style="font-size: 13px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">The Seven Steps</h3><p style="font-size: 12px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 17px; ">The following is a basic description of Deepak Chopra’s 7 keys to happiness. Everyone is encouraged to take the vow of non-violence and explore the keys at <a href="http://www.deepakchopra.com/" style="font-size: 12px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; color: rgb(51, 102, 102); text-decoration: underline; font-weight: bold; ">www.deepakchopra.com</a></p><p style="font-size: 12px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 17px; "><a href="http://www.deepakchopra.com/" style="font-size: 12px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; color: rgb(51, 102, 102); text-decoration: underline; font-weight: bold; "></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: normal;"><br /></span></p><ul style="font-size: 12px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; "><li style="font-size: 12px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 17px; "><b style="font-size: 12px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">Being aware of your body </b>initiates the key to happiness. Awareness lies deep inside interconnected with the mind and spirit. Intelligence, creativity and being powerful makes the body respond and begin to ground itself and sprout roots of happiness throughout the body.</li><li style="font-size: 12px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 17px; "><b style="font-size: 12px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">True self-esteem </b>stems from letting go of the idea of a self image and embracing the true self, where happiness lives independently and fearlessly.</li><li style="font-size: 12px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 17px; "><b style="font-size: 12px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">Detoxifying </b>all the contaminants that clog your life and your body, blocking happiness from entering and thriving inside your soul. For example anger, anxiety, toxic substances and relationships.</li><li style="font-size: 12px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 17px; "><b style="font-size: 12px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">Giving up being right</b> and integrating defenselessness, makes one take notice in the lessened desire to attack and make someone be wrong. Encompassing wholeness and profound peace.</li><li style="font-size: 12px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 17px; "><b style="font-size: 12px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">Living in the present </b>reminds us that every situation comes and goes, reminding us that nothing lasts forever and that everything changes. When the restless activity of the mind reminds us of who <i style="font-size: 12px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">it</i>thinks we are, we remind it that <i style="font-size: 12px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">we </i>represent now and forever, making us infinite.</li><li style="font-size: 12px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 17px; "><b style="font-size: 12px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">Seeing the world in you </b>allows the world to become connected with our true being. Being aware and mindful reminds us that love heals and connects us with the deepest level of consciousness.</li><li style="font-size: 12px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 17px; "><b style="font-size: 12px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">Live for Enlightenment. </b>When we begin to understand that enlightenment is the most natural state of being, you realize the time that has gone wasted living in the past. When you wake up to Enlightenment, freedom takes the drivers’ seat.</li></ul><h3 class="dynamic" style="font-size: 13px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">Let Go and Let God</h3><p style="font-size: 12px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 17px; ">Deepak Chopra has invited the world with an urgent call to unite and begin to understand that the world is one and we have a nature that calls that goes beyond all boundaries. Quoting and amply named band <i style="font-size: 12px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">Nirvana, </i>Kurt Cobain sang “all in all is all we are”. Once the people of the world understand that everything one person does, another person is also part of that action. The energy that happiness brings can change anyone under its dominant shadow to see the light. With that in mind, the reader begins to comprehend that in order for anything or anyone to change; it first begins with awareness of consciousness.</p><span style="font-size: 12px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-color: initial; outline-width: 0px; outline-style: initial; outline-color: initial; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><br /><br /><br /></span></span>Virag Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09701810232002379152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6828741106996891296.post-90127513358799795252010-09-17T08:37:00.000-07:002011-02-07T04:48:24.957-08:00Disappointment and Perspective.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); line-height: 18px; "><h3 class="entry-header" style="font-weight: normal; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; margin-right: 35px; margin-left: 35px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 22px; letter-spacing: -0.02em; line-height: 1.2; ">D<a href="http://positive-thoughts.typepad.com/positive-thoughts/2010/09/disappointment-and-perspective.html" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 85, 153); ">isappointment and Perspective.</a></h3><div class="entry-content" style="position: static; clear: both; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 35px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 35px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden; "><div class="entry-body" style="clear: both; "><br /><br />Being disappointed is all about perspective. It took me a long time to realize this. I was under the impression that if someone did something I didn't like, or a situation evolved that I wasn't happy with, then I had the "right" to be disappointed. I never once thought it was just my perception of the matter that was causing my disappointment and that I could control this!<br /><br />What I slowly began to realize through studying myself, as well as paying attention to others around me, was that those things that would upset me, would not upset someone else. I also noticed that those things that appeared to be the biggest deal to someone else, only made me laugh. So what was going on? Obviously, it couldn't be the situation itself because that was the one constant thing in each equation. What did change was who was interpreting the situation. That was what was different. So I began to wonder if my perception of a situation, any situation, was something I could control? Could I change the way I perceived something, and therefore, change my emotional reaction? I discovered, that yes it was possible. I wasn't necessarily in control over what happened to me, or around me, but I was definitely in control over how I responded to those situations.<br /><br />I began to play with this idea a bit. I believe that the people in our lives are great mirrors for how we think and behave, and therefore, can be great educational tools.<br /><br />What I began to see over and over again was that when most of us get upset it is for one reason and one reason only. The universe is not behaving the way we believe it should behave. This could mean that we didn't get the raise we believed we were entitled too, so we become disappointed. If we had not expected a raise in the first place, however, we never would have been disappointed would we? It could also mean that someone does not treat us in a particular way that we believe we should be treated. Or our dreams don't turn out the way we believe they should have turned out. Or an investment didn't work out the way we thought it would. Or someone dies before we believe they should die. It can be as heavy as that. I am not saying it isn't sad, but at the same time it isn't our choice to say how long someone is to live, now is it? Those are our perceptions of what we want, of how we want the universe to behave. When we get disappointed, we never stop and think that it is our perceptions or beliefs that are wrong. We think it is the universe that is wrong because of how we feel personally! That is a pretty grand stand to take when you think about it. <a href="http://positive-thoughts.typepad.com/.a/6a0120a8df43e7970b0133f4513966970b-pi" style="text-decoration: underline; color: rgb(0, 85, 153); display: inline; "><img alt="Images" border="0" class="asset asset-image at-xid-6a0120a8df43e7970b0133f4513966970b " src="http://positive-thoughts.typepad.com/.a/6a0120a8df43e7970b0133f4513966970b-800wi" title="Images" width="372" height="279" style="border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; " /></a><br /><br /><br />So how do we change our perceptions? By becoming more aware of what your perceptions and beliefs are. You cannot change what you do not understand. So spend some time looking internally and when you become disappointed, think about what is disappointing you. Is it really the situation or the person, or is it because they are not behaving in a way you believe they should behave? Then slowly as you do this, force yourself to look at the bigger picture of what is going on. Force yourself to see the situation from a new perspective and offer positive spins on what has happened. I believe that the more you do this, the less you will be disappointed because you will stop taking things so personally. You will also begin to realize that the way things turn out are the way things are supposed to turn out, whether they are in line with your beliefs or not. This will lead you to feeling more in control of your emotions as well as of your behaviors and actions. You will also be able to use any challenge as an opportunity to grow, develop, and move your life forward, because you will not continuously be knocked down by disappointment.<br /><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-right: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">© Kim Eickhoff </p></div></div></span>Virag Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09701810232002379152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6828741106996891296.post-56393761246706373862010-09-16T10:17:00.000-07:002011-02-07T04:48:24.967-08:00Valley of flowers ( upper Bhyundar Valley )<p class="MsoNormal">Last 3 year planning to go fairy land called Valley of flowers also known as upper Bhyundar Valley, But every time there is issue. Well this time also there was issue , but inspired by poem “tumi ekla chalo..” (Walk Alone friend..) Started my journey alone. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">About valley </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Valley of Flowers situated in the lap of the Himalayas about 3,200 m to 6,679 m in altitude in the Chamoli district of Uttrakhand. Pushpawati river emerge from Tipar glacier at base of Godhi Parvat ( Peak)<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>flows though valley of flowers and meet Laxman Ganga at Ghanghria and finally in to Alaknanda river in GovindGhat. Valley become frozen during winter and become fairy land during summer. Valley of flower take different shades of colors as month progressed. Valley come alive in month of April , when ice meltdown , become yellow in June , Purple and white in July , too many colors in August. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Government declare Valley of flowers as Nanda Devi National Park in 1982 ( 87.9 Sq KM), latter UNSCO declare it as World Heritage Site in 1988 (Extensions in 2005). </p> <span style="font-size:11.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal;mso-ansi-language: EN-US;mso-fareast-language:EN-US;mso-bidi-language:AR-SA">Local knew existence about this Bhyundar valley ( Valley of flowers) for centuries also called playground of Fairies and Nymphs . But it not very popular in outside <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>of world , despite huge pligirm visit near by famous temple Badrinath , since 9<sup>th</sup> </span>Century. <p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <table class="MsoNormalTable" border="1" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin-left:27.9pt;background:#F2F2F2;mso-shading:windowtext; mso-pattern:gray-5 auto;border-collapse:collapse;border:none;mso-border-alt: solid black .5pt;mso-yfti-tbllook:1184;mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-border-insideh:.5pt solid black;mso-border-insidev:.5pt solid black"> <tbody><tr style="mso-yfti-irow:0;mso-yfti-firstrow:yes;mso-yfti-lastrow:yes"> <td width="534" valign="top" style="width:400.5pt;border:solid black 1.0pt; mso-border-alt:solid black .5pt;padding:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt"> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal">“I hope generously, my ignorance must judge for myself whether the Bhyundar Valley deserves its title the Valley of Flowers. Others will visit it, analyze it and probe it but, whatever their opinions, to me it will remain the ‘Valley of Flowers’ a valley of peace and perfect beauty where the human spirit may find repose” — Frank S. Smythe</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><o:p> </o:p></p> </td> </tr> </tbody></table> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <div><span style="font-size:11.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal;mso-ansi-language: EN-US;mso-fareast-language:EN-US;mso-bidi-language:AR-SA"><p class="MsoNormal">My paln was like follow ( but it changed Little bit ) </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">11-AUG-2010 Haridwar to Joshimath. This was my first visit to Haidwar too. Took GMO bus from Haridwar. In bus few people from Gujarat going to Badrinath , few Army men going on Duty. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">12-AUG Joshimath – Govindghat- Ghanghria</p> <p class="MsoNormal">13-AUG Ghanghria- Valley of Flowers - Ghanghria</p> <p class="MsoNormal">14-AUG Ghanghria - Hemkund Shaib - Ghanghria</p> <p class="MsoNormal">15-AUG Ghanghria – Valley of Flowers - Ghanghria</p> <p class="MsoNormal">16-AUG Ghanghria – Badrinath – Joshimath </p> <p class="MsoNormal">17-AUG Joshimath – Haidwar </p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">It was wonderful Journey ... will update more details soon ... </p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p></span></div>Virag Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09701810232002379152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6828741106996891296.post-55853790290094570492010-09-12T19:46:00.000-07:002011-02-07T04:48:24.972-08:00Points of Power .<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); line-height: 18px; "><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-right: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">With every single person you come into contact, you are either giving love or you're not.And based on what you give, that is what you receive.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-right: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">Give love to others through kindness,encouragement,support,gratitude,or any good feeling , and it comes back to you multiplied in every area of your life.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-right: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">Look for the things you love in a relationship more than you notice negative things and it will appear as if something incredible has happened to the other person.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-right: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">Trying to change another person, thinking you know what is best for another person, thinking you are right and another person is wrong is not giving love !</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-right: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">You have to be happy to receive the happy versions of other people !</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-right: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">The force of love presents you with a whole array of Personal Emotional Trainers, disguised as everyday people, but they are all training you to choose love !</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-right: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">Life is presenting every person and circumstance to you so you can choose what you love and what you don't love.When you react to anything you are reacting with your feelings, and as you do,you are choosing it !</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-right: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">Changing the way you feel is easy compared to running around trying to change the circumstances of the outside world.Change your feelings and the outside circumstances will change !</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-right: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">From the book ''The Power'' by Rhonda Byrne.</p></span>Virag Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09701810232002379152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6828741106996891296.post-88506148494781695692010-09-11T23:53:00.000-07:002011-02-07T04:48:24.975-08:00boss who makes your life hell<p><b>If you have a boss who makes your life hell, then read on to know how to tackle it</b></p>Most people can say they have worked for a bad boss. So, if you too are dealing with a similar situation, what can you do to survive?<br /><br /><div>Get training for your boss </div><div><br /></div><div>It is possible it's a training problem. Maybe the boss never had any training in leadership, supervision or diversity. Talk to the human resources department. If not, you might need to talk to your boss. Directly, but politely, tell him or her about your needs for timely, specific feedback or goals.<br /><br /><div>Develop a positive relationship </div><div><br /></div><div>The boss is more apt to help you if he or she likes you. Of course, depending on what negative things the boss does, this might not be a plausible strategy. If it makes sense to do this, then get to know your boss as a person. The more you understand him or her, the more you might be able to help meet his or her needs and yours as a result.<br /><br /></div><div>Understand your boss' moods </div><div><br /></div><div>While it would be great if we never had to worry about the boss' moods and reactions to things, the reality is that we do need to know these things. Maybe there are certain times such as end-of-the-month number crunching when it would be smart to postpone a talk with the boss. It just means you need to pay attention to your boss and learn how and when to best communicate.<br /><br /></div><div>Keep your boss informed </div><div><br /></div><div>It is important to periodically keep your boss informed about things you are doing to support the department or the firm. Bosses don't know everything that is going on. They do like to hear what you are doing to support their agenda and mission in the firm.<br /><br /></div><div>Find a mentor with the company </div><div><br /></div><div>If you love the nature of your work or your firm but hate your boss, another solution is to develop a mentoring relationship with a manager or peer in another department or part of the company.Mentors can provide the career guidance and visibility you need to help you move forward in the organization. They can also provide you with needed psycho-social support and offer sound advice. HT Delhi 12-SEP-10<!--ENDARTICLECONTENT--><div id="divBL" style="FLOAT: right"> <table border="0"> <tbody> <tr> <td></td></tr></tbody></table></div> <div id="divBR" style="FLOAT: left"> <table border="0"> <tbody> <tr> <td></td></tr></tbody></table></div></div></div>Virag Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09701810232002379152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6828741106996891296.post-49885761403349360652010-09-06T22:02:00.000-07:002011-02-07T04:48:24.980-08:00Top 20 Personal Development books<div>What Personal Development books have had the biggest impact on your life?</div><div><br /></div><div>My Top 10 List Includes:</div><div><br /></div><div>1 - Thinks and Grow Rich: Naopleon Hill</div><div>2 - Science of Getting Rich: Wallace D Wattles</div><div>3 - One Minute Millionaire: Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen</div><div>4 - Awaken the Giant Within and Unlimited Power': Tony Robbins</div><div>5 - How to Win Friends and Influence People: Dale Carnegie</div><div>6 - Richest Man in Babylon: George Clason</div><div>7 - How Would Love Respond: Kurek Ashley</div><div>8 - Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life: Wayne Dyer</div><div>9 - Money and the Law of Attraction: Esther Hicks</div><div>10 - A New Earth: Echart Tolle</div><div>11 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey</div><div>12 The Master Key by Charles Haanel </div><div>13 The Law of Attraction: Janet Beckers</div><div>14 - Awesome Secret: Napoleon Hill</div><div>15 - M.R. Kopmeyer:'How To Get Whatever You Want'</div><div>16 - Law Of Attraction Book - Michael Losier</div><div>17 - Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway: Susan Jeffers </div><div>18 - Psycho Cybernetics - Maxwell Maltz </div><div>19 - The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch </div><div>20 - Who Moved My Cheese by Spencer Johnson </div><div><br /></div><div>Here 3 More </div><div><br /></div><div>Thought to Build on - M R Kopmeyer </div><div>The Art of Dealing with people - Les Giblin</div><div><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-fareast-language: EN-US;mso-bidi-language:AR-SAfont-family:";font-size:10.0pt;">The Art Of Possibility By Zander, Benjamin & Zander, Rosamund Stone </span></div>Virag Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09701810232002379152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6828741106996891296.post-29751223303606497112010-08-27T21:21:00.000-07:002011-02-07T04:48:24.984-08:00The Magic Word -- `Confidence'<div><br /></div>I sit here and think about what it takes to make life tick. For one, I guess, confidence in one self and faith that all is going to be all right. I have often wondered, will not the world be a better place if people were more confident of themselves and they did not have to prove themselves to anyone? Confident enough to be happy, to be doing what they want to do instead of looking for approval all the time, confident enough to stand up for what they believe in, confident enough to enjoy life the way they want to, confident enough to walk the road less travelled and not wait for others.<p> The more I think of this attribute, the more I realise the need for it. I can actually visualise the world to be better place if people realised their potential to the fullest and decided to be the best that they could be.</p><p><br />Knowing that you are one of your kind and there is no one like out there, wow, that is a thought! And the potential that comes with it. Have you met someone like you? I have not met anyone like me and I have met a lot of people. We are all created differently on a physical level and that is just the beginning of the differences. More often than not, I feel the times I have faltered in life and trust me that is one long list, I have come to the conclusion those were the times, I lacked faith in my abilities and was filled with selfdoubt. The times when I have achieved something of value, unfortunately, that is not such a long list, (as yet), well I am optimistic, have been times when I was full of confidence and ready to take on the world. So here it is to confidence and a heavy dose of self worth. Let us just stop, look at the mirror and realise the greatest miracle is right there staring at us. I or you don't have to look beyond that for this is it. So let us go out there and try and remember I am the centre of the universe it all begins and ends with me and trust me it does. Have the confidence to know that and live life king-size. </p><p>HT DElhi </p><p>http://epaper.hindustantimes.com/PUBLICATIONS/HT/HD/2010/08/28/ArticleHtmls/The-Magic-Word-Confidence-28082010896002.shtml?Mode=1</p>Virag Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09701810232002379152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6828741106996891296.post-78146722495015074922010-08-26T08:52:00.000-07:002011-02-07T04:48:24.989-08:00“When In Doubt, Make Belief,” by Jeff Bell<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma; font-size: 23px; font-weight: bold; ">“When In Doubt, Make Belief,” by Jeff Bell</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma; font-size: 23px; font-weight: bold; "><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma; font-size: 23px; font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; font-size: 17px; "><div id="BlogContent" style="padding-top: 10px; padding-right: 10px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 10px; margin-top: 10px; "><p>Have you ever driven away from your house and found yourself wondering whether you’d remembered to close the garage door? Probably.</p><p>Have you ever gone back, checked to make sure that the door was closed, driven away, and then had to come back yet again to make doubly sure? And then repeated the entire exercise again? Probably not, but if you have, then you may be one of the millions of people who struggle with obsessive compulsive disorder, or OCD.</p><p>Jeff Bell is a well-known author, speaker, and radio news anchor. He’s found himself checking the garage door not once, but twice, or three, or more times, on each occasion driving away with less, not more, reassurance about the security of his garage door. He lives with OCD, which is the topic of his latest book, <em>When In Doubt, Make Belief</em>. If at this point you’re thinking, “Well, I may have gone back to to check the garage door, but I’ve never had to do it repeatedly, so I guess this book isn’t for me,” I suggest you think again.</p><blockquote class="title-details"><p><strong>Title</strong>: When In Doubt, Make Belief<br /><strong>Author</strong>: Jeff Bell<br /><strong>Publisher</strong>: New World Library<br /><strong>ISBN</strong>: 9781577316701<br /><strong>Available from</strong>: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1577316703?ie=UTF8&tag=wildmind02&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1577316703">Amazon.com (paperback)</a>, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002OB5FFI?ie=UTF8&tag=wildmind02&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B002OB5FFI">Amazon.com (Kindle edition)</a>, <a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1577316703?ie=UTF8&tag=wildmind-21&linkCode=as2&camp=1634&creative=6738&creativeASIN=1577316703">Amazon.co.uk</a>.</p></blockquote><p>When Jeff wrote his first book — an OCD “coming out” memoir, if you will — he was overwhelmed by the interest shown by the public and the media. At first he assumed the interest was due to the “freak factor” — people interested in his bizarre psychological condition — but he soon realized that the fascination was fueled not by the strangeness but by the <em>familiarity</em> of the condition. We all experience irrational doubt. We all experience obsessions and compulsions. At times, each of us has acted irrationally and against our best interests because of fear, anxiety, and other powerful habits that drive our actions. Bell has something to say to each of us.</p><p>One universal topic he explores is the tendency to see life in black-and-white terms, with everything appearing as part of a dichotomy: good or bad, right or wrong. Who has not fallen into this way of thinking? Bell introduces examples of black-and-white thinking that will resonate with every reader: e.g. someone accuses us of thoughtlessness, and then black and white thought patterns tell us that if one person thinks we are thoughtless, then that must be so, and therefore everyone must think that we are thoughtless, and therefore no one likes us, and therefore we’re going to be unpopular for the rest of our lives. Sound familiar? We may not think like that all the time, but we’ve all thought like that at some point.</p><p>Bell also discusses, in terms that are very familiar to me as a Buddhist, the difference between healthy (intellect-based) and unhealthy (fear-based) doubt. Intellect-based doubt is founded on reason, logic, and rational investigation, and leads us towards a constructive engagement with our experience, to greater awareness, and to growth and learning. Fear-based doubt is supported by irrational assumptions and black-and-white thinking. Rather than leading to clarity, it causes a spike in anxiety, catastrophic thinking (a never-ending series of “what-if” questions), and leads us to engage in actions that are neither appropriate nor helpful. Ultimately, fear-based doubt is a vicious cycle, where doubt creates and perpetuates itself.</p><p>Although some of the pathological patterns of OCD are common to us all, Bell takes pains to remind us that OCD is a specific biochemical brain disorder, and not a psychological condition that people slip into and out of.</p><p>Fortunately, Bell does much more than simply describe the pathology of doubt. He outlines four general principles — reverence, resolve, investment, and surrender — that contain 10 practical steps by which we can get out of doubt. These 10 steps are deeply grounded in spirituality. He encourages us to:</p><ol class="contentlist"><li>Choose to see the universe as friendly</li><li>Embrace the possibility in every moment</li><li>Affirm our universal potential</li><li>Put our commitments ahead of our comfort</li><li>Keep sight of the big picture and the Greater Good</li><li>Claim and exercise our freedom to choose</li><li>Picture possibilities and direct our attention [away from destructive thinking and towards constructive thoughts]</li><li>Act from abundance in ways that empower</li><li>Accept and let go of what we cannot control</li><li>Allow for bigger plans than our own to unfold.</li></ol><p>For Bell, belief is the opposite of doubt. The 10 strategies outlines above are ways of changing our decision-making from being doubt driven to being belief-driven. It’s important for us to believe in ourselves, to learn to trust, respect, and have compassion for others, and to have faith in life itself. Belief, the way Bell uses the term, seems to encompass what Buddhists would term <em>shraddha</em> (an emotional attitude of confidence and trust) and <em>samyak-drshti</em> (accurate views regarding ourselves and the world we live in). Belief, for Bell, is a choice. It is something we can create (hence the title of the book). The very first step he outlines in “making belief” — choosing to see the universe as friendly — is a conscious choice to see the universe as supporting us to the full extent that we are willing to draw upon it. The universe, then, is seen not as endlessly trying to trip us up, but as an endless series of opportunities for pursuing our own greater good. This is an inherently spiritual outlook, and I believe that any spiritual seeker would benefit from exploring Bell’s plentiful, and hard-won, insights.</p><p>Here’s one more example of Bell’s spiritual insight: “The key to living with uncertainty is learning to embrace the discomfort of uncertainty.” When faced with doubt, many of us panic. Gripped by panic, we grasp after this short term palliatives that promise to relieve us from our doubt but simply perpetuate it. These are what Bell calls “false exits” from the vicious cycle of doubt. This perspective will be familiar to anyone who has read the work of the American Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön, or the existentialist-inspired Buddhist writer, and author of “The Faith to Doubt,” Stephen Batchelor.</p><p><em>When In Doubt, Make Belief</em> is a clearly laid out book, full of honest introspection on the part of the author, and bringing in the lived experience of a wide variety of people (some OCD sufferers, some not) as quotations and in the form of interviews with the author. The book contains diagrams neatly summarizing the principles and practical steps that create a belief-based life. Each chapter ends with a handy summary of the main points. For a man who has been crippled by doubt for much of his life, Bell has done a marvelous job of attaining clarity.</p><p>Bell honestly acknowledges, however, that he is still working with the issues he raises, and that he is not always able to put into practice his own strategies. In fact, he discusses the kind of internal dialogues he has with his doubt — personified as Director Doubt — dialogues in which Bell is forever being accused of being a fraud for not having completely eliminated OCD from his life. In response to this inner bullying, Bell reminds himself (and us) to concentrate on progress rather than perfection. He explains how he assesses each day in terms of how he has demonstrated his passion for life, how he has demonstrated kindness to others, and how he has demonstrated “grace of self.” I can’t help feeling that all of us would benefit immensely from asking ourselves those three questions at the end of each day.</p></div><hr class="Divider" style="width: 1008px; height: 1px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); text-align: center; "><p>Article printed from Wildmind Buddhist Meditation: <strong dir="ltr">http://www.wildmind.org</strong></p><p>URL to article: <strong dir="ltr">http://www.wildmind.org/blogs/book-reviews/when-in-doubt-make-belief-by-jeff-bell</strong></p></span></span></div>Virag Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09701810232002379152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6828741106996891296.post-83875200602045716942010-08-25T09:49:00.000-07:002011-02-07T04:48:24.993-08:00Because You Can<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); line-height: 18px; "><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-right: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">Do you assume that other people should prove they ''deserve'' your kindness,thoughtfulness or consideration before they get it ?</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-right: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">''Why should I be nice to her when she was so rude to me ?''</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-right: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">''Mean old bag , never smiles, who would want to treat her decently?''</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-right: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">''He hurt me. I'm not going to waste my time talking to him.''</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-right: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">Living like this- and many people do- you are letting other people decide how you will behave. You are giving away your power to decide. You are letting them determine how you will think and feel.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-right: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">When you treat people decently because you can you are relying on something far more solid than other's people reactions (or your assumptions about those reactions ).</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-right: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">You are relying on your values.And living them.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-right: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-right: 0px; margin-left: 0px; ">Self-respect begins in your own mind : with the way you think and talk about yourself.</p></span>Virag Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09701810232002379152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6828741106996891296.post-14704882983121629592010-08-24T23:29:00.000-07:002011-02-07T04:48:25.000-08:00You don't need a title to realise your potential, just believe in yourself and focus on your goals<div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; "><b>Title : The power of purpose</b></div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; "><b>Author : Chitra Jha</b></div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; "><b>Location :</b></div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; "><b>Article Date : 08/25/2010</b></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; "><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; "><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; "><img height="181" width="152" src="http://epaper.hindustantimes.com/PUBLICATIONS/HT/HD/2010/08/25/Photographs/604/25_08_2010_604_005_012.jpg" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; "><br /></span><div id="divTL" style="float: left; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; "></div><div id="divTR" style="float: right; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; "></div><p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; "><b>You don't need a title to realise your potential, just believe in yourself and focus on your goals</b></p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; ">How many of us live truly purposeful lives and how many just drift along, always trying to fit in with the trends, living life on others' terms? A lack of an individual or collective purpose makes us feel inadequate, helpless and powerless. Lao Tzu, a famous Chinese philosopher who lived more than 2,500 years ago, had said, “The biggest problem in the world today is that individuals experience themselves as powerless.“ We haven't progressed much on this count in these two-and-ahalf millenniums. We still feel helpless, negative, lethargic, frustrated, and resentful. We often live in fear, enslaved by our circumstances, which we think are beyond our control.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; "><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; ">All these are signs of powerlessness. Our efforts to achieve success in any field are sabotaged by powerlessness as it breeds negativity.</span><p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; ">True power comes with purpose. It brings an inner awareness, an inner state of being in control, knowing that we can achieve our goals. It brings a calm conviction about our true identity.<br />It makes us believe that we can achieve all that we set out to achieve in life. It gives us a quiet confidence in our abilities. It helps us set a direction for our life. It makes us distinguish among circumstances over which we have some control and over which we have no control.<br />This power makes us define ourselves from inside out. It makes our internal space a positive one. From this space, our internal dialogue always moves us towards self-confidence. We constantly keep affirming, “I am a capable person. I can handle all life challenges with élan. I am creative. I learn from all my mistakes. Etc. etc.“</p><p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; ">Mahatma Gandhi is a shining example of a person who used the power of purpose in the most effective manner.<br />He held no political office. He didn't possess great wealth.<br />He was a small, frail, scantilyclad man, who took on the might of the British empire and drove the erstwhile rulers without firing a single shot. How did he achieve this supposedly impossible goal?<br />He could do it with the power of purpose; the power which can move mountains and achieve miracles.</p><p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; ">How can we cultivate this power in our lives? This power comes with a vision for our future. It comes when we open up to new possibilities.<br />It comes when we nurture our inherent strengths. Yes, each one of us has been granted numerous gifts by nature/ God/ the universe/ spirit/ energy/ intelligence...<br />whatever name you may call it. Ask yourself, “What are the blessings/ gifts/ powers that I have been blessed with so far?“ Make a list of these blessings. Your list could include a safe and secure home, a loving family, fresh drinking water, plenty of food, good health, a sound mind, education, employment, friends, freedom from life threats, talents, abilities etc.</p><p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; ">Once you have made this list, you are ready to ask the next question: “Why have I been given all these gifts? What is the purpose?“ This is a very important question, so let the answer come in from deep inside you. For some, the purpose could be to experience love, joy, beauty, and aliveness. For some others, it could be sharing the gifts and supporting others in living joyful, authentic lives. Some may be inclined to create conditions where everyone can live with inner security and peace. Some may wish to understand more about the human nature and human experience. There can be as many purposes as there are people, since each one of us is unique, with our unique bouquet of gifts and talents.</p><p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; ">Once you have identified your most compelling purpose you are ready for the final question. Ask yourself, “What actions do I need to take today in the direction of my life's purpose? How can I align my gifts with the purpose I have identified?“ Whichever way you may frame this question, the answer to this question will give you the power of purpose. This answer will make you look at each moment as an opportunity to march forward on your chosen path.</p><p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; ">So, ask these questions, honestly answer them and find your power of purpose.<br />This power will propel you towards success in any chosen field because this field will be aligned with who you are.<br /><br /></p><p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; ">The author is a life-skills coach, time-line therapist, and new consciousness writer. Contact: chitrajhaa@gmail.com</p><p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; ">Original link <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; "><a href="http://epaper.hindustantimes.com/PUBLICATIONS/HT/HD/2010/08/25/ArticleHtmls/The-power-of-purpose-25082010604005.shtml?Mode=1">http://epaper.hindustantimes.com/PUBLICATIONS/HT/HD/2010/08/25/ArticleHtmls/The-power-of-purpose-25082010604005.shtml?Mode=1</a></span></p><p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; "><br /></p>Virag Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09701810232002379152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6828741106996891296.post-194925359380068812010-08-09T04:32:00.000-07:002011-02-07T04:48:25.005-08:00Difference between Love and Obsession<h2 class="single"><a href="http://remaindersofalife.wordpress.com/2010/05/17/difference-between-love-and-obsession/" rel="bookmark" title="Permanent link to Difference between Love and Obsession">Difference between Love and Obsession</a></h2> <p>Love. As much as people think they know ‘love’ and have experienced it, the truth is that it is very, very rare. In fact, it is one of the most confused and ‘mis-understood’ feelings in the world. Hatred, jealousy, envy, anger: easy to understand and infer. But love… <em>how does one know that it is love</em>… and not like? not attraction? not obsession?</p> <p>It is really sad when people mistake their feelings of ‘anything-but-love’ for love. It not only creates heart-breaks, break-ups, fights, arguments, separation, divorce, but it causes such low-level emotions of revenge, resentment, anger, egotism and violence. But more than anything, more than the likings, crushes, attractions, what is saddest is the ‘love’ which is in reality an ‘obsession’.</p> <p>Obsession is strong, its reason being addiction. In obsession, you do not love the person, you need the person- for your own self. Obsession is one of the most selfish and cruel emotions amongst mankind. It has only to do with the self, with the ego and has not a trace of compassion or kindness. Obsessive love kills. It harms. It seeks revenge if the self is not placated continuously.<em> Obsession is a disease…</em></p> <p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://remaindersofalife.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/fire_dreaming_video_interview_photo.jpg"><img class="size-medium wp-image-73 aligncenter" title="red" src="http://remaindersofalife.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/fire_dreaming_video_interview_photo.jpg?w=300&h=225" alt="" height="225" width="300" /></a></p> <p><strong>Once a boy liked a girl and grew obsessive about her.</strong> The young girl was still unsure about her feelings for him beyond liking and friendship, and therefore never committed to him. But the boy, who was otherwise a nice regular guy, popular with friends, was blind to everything else other than his need for her and the sense of achievement in getting her. With time, when the girl realised that she did not love him, she told him so. Instead of accepting her truthful admission, he tried to hurt her. He grew into a rage and became vindictive. All the love he claimed for her vanished into thin air in a single moment. The strangeness of it didnt matter to him. What inkled him was his hurt ego. He cared no more of the girl’s welfare or her happiness. He sent threats to her and her friends. He hacked her email accounts and messed up her social networking pages. He raged and ranted.</p> <p>All this made the girl sad and disillusioned-not angry, for she had been his friend in the past, and tried to understand him in her simple heart. But she could not make sense of such hatred from someone who had professed his love for her so fervently. Her faith in love broke forever. The story has a sad ending because soon enough the girl died, never knowing that it was not love that failed, but the foolishness and immaturity of a person. The boy was only obsessed with her; there was no love. We dont know what happened to the boy after the girl died. Whether he forgave her in her death, or forgave himself in his realisation of the truth at last.</p> <p><strong>In true love, you live for the other person.</strong> You wish for the other person’s happiness, irrespective of whether that person loves you back or not, even if the love is unrequited and that person loves somebody else instead. True love is loving without selfish thoughts. When you truly love somebody, your whole existence is focused on making that person happy, your life revolves around him, and your every dream includes him and his smile. You realise and understand that you are born to be with him and for him. You instinctively know that you are soulmates and your heart aches for the other person. You are willing to give up every material and shallow pleasure of life, if it brings about even a little more happiness to the other person, although it may bring pain upon you. You realise that every passing moment just makes your love deeper, stronger and more generous. You become a better human being because you are fulfilled in your life like nothing else in the world can be.</p> <p>But it happens so many times that couples declare that they love each other, when in fact they do not. What they feel at their inner-most sanctums is possessiveness, ownership and an urgent need to guard this property of theirs, and feed their egos. In their relationships, there is passion, pleasure, self-satisfaction and a sense of achievement- all quite short-lived and transient. And always, never peace. That sense of peace and bliss which comes only to soulmates in their love. For the rest, it is always a searching, always a seeking of the answers, always a compromise at a crossing.</p><p>http://remaindersofalife.wordpress.com/2010/05/17/difference-between-love-and-obsession/<br /></p>Virag Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09701810232002379152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6828741106996891296.post-84119736296546920652010-08-09T00:59:00.001-07:002011-02-07T04:48:25.012-08:00Love And The Law Of Attraction<h1 class="entry-title">Love And The Law Of Attraction</h1> <div class="entry-meta"> <span class="meta-prep meta-prep-author">Posted on</span> <a href="http://oshotimes.wordpress.com/2010/08/08/love-and-the-law-of-attraction/" title="5:46 pm" rel="bookmark"><span class="entry-date">August 8, 2010</span></a> <span class="meta-sep">by</span> <span class="author vcard"><a class="url fn n" href="http://oshotimes.wordpress.com/author/oshonewsletters/" title="View all posts by OSHO Times">OSHO Times</a></span> </div> <div class="tweetmeme-button" id="tweetmeme-button-post-67" style="float: right; margin-left: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px; padding: 4px 0pt 2px 4px; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </div> <p><strong>Only a loving person — one who is already loving — can find the right partner.</strong></p> <p>This is my observation: if you are unhappy you will find somebody who is unhappy. Unhappy people are attracted towards unhappy people. And it is good, it is natural. It is good that the unhappy people are not attracted towards happy people; otherwise they would destroy their happiness. It is perfectly okay.</p> <p>Only happy people are attracted towards happy people.</p> <p>The same attracts the same. Intelligent people are attracted towards intelligent people; stupid people are attracted towards stupid people.</p> <p>You meet people of the same plane. So the first thing to remember is: a relationship is bound to be bitter if it has grown out of unhappiness. First be happy, be joyful, be celebrating, and then you will find some other soul celebrating and there will be a meeting of two dancing souls and a great dance will arise out of it.</p> <div id="attachment_68" class="wp-caption aligncenter" style="width: 650px;"><a href="http://oshotimes.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/lawofattraction.jpg"><img class="size-full wp-image-68" title="The need to be loved is childish, immature. The need to love is mature." src="http://oshotimes.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/lawofattraction.jpg?w=640&h=426" alt="" height="426" width="640" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">The need to be loved is childish, immature. The need to love is mature.</p></div> <p>Don’t ask for a relationship out of loneliness, no. Then you are moving in a wrong direction. Then the other will be used as a means and the other will use you as a means. And nobody wants to be used as a means! Every single individual is an end unto himself. It is immoral to use anybody as a means.</p> <p>First learn how to be alone. Meditation is a way of being alone.</p> <p>If you can be happy when you are alone, you have learned the secret of being happy. Now you can be happy together. If you are happy, then you have something to share, to give. And when you give you get; it is not the other way. Then a need arises to love somebody.</p> <p>Ordinarily the need is to be loved by somebody. It is a wrong need. It is a childish need; you are not mature. It is a child’s attitude.</p> <p>A child is born. Of course, the child cannot love the mother; he does not know what love is and he does not know who is the mother and who is the father. He is totally helpless. His being is still to be integrated; he is not one piece; he is not together yet. He is just a possibility. The mother has to love, the father has to love, the family has to shower love on the child. Now he learns one thing: that everybody has to love him. He never learns that he has to love. Now the child will grow, and if he remains stuck with this attitude that everybody has to love him, he will suffer his whole life. His body has grown, but his mind has remained immature.</p> <p><strong>A mature person is one who comes to know the other need: that now I have to love somebody.</strong></p> <p><strong>The need to be loved is childish, immature. The need to love is mature.</strong></p> <p>And when you are ready to love somebody, a beautiful relationship will arise; otherwise not.</p> <p>“Is it possible for two people in a relationship to be bad for each other?” Yes, that’s what is happening all over the world. To be good is very difficult. You are not good even to yourself. How can you be good to somebody else?</p> <p>You don’t even love yourself! How can you love somebody else? Love yourself, be good to yourself.</p> <p>Your so-called religious saints have been teaching you never to love yourself, never to be good to yourself. Be hard on yourself! They have been teaching you be soft towards others and hard towards yourself. This is absurd.</p> <p>I teach you that the first and foremost thing is to be loving towards yourself. Don’t be hard; be soft. Care about yourself. Learn how to forgive yourself — again and again and again — seven times, seventy-seven times, seven hundred seventy-seven times. Learn how to forgive yourself. Don’t be hard; don’t be antagonistic towards yourself. Then you will flower.</p> <p>In that flowering you will attract some other flower. It is natural. Stones attract stones; flowers attract flowers. Then there is a relationship which has grace, which has beauty, which has a benediction in it. If you can find such a relationship, your relationship will grow into prayer;your love will become an ecstasy and through love you will know what the divine is.</p> <p>OSHO – Ecstasy: The Forgotten Language</p>Virag Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09701810232002379152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6828741106996891296.post-83503901329919673132010-08-09T00:59:00.000-07:002011-02-07T04:48:33.580-08:00Love And The Law Of Attraction<h1 class="entry-title">Love And The Law Of Attraction</h1> <div class="entry-meta"> <span class="meta-prep meta-prep-author">Posted on</span> <a href="http://oshotimes.wordpress.com/2010/08/08/love-and-the-law-of-attraction/" title="5:46 pm" rel="bookmark"><span class="entry-date">August 8, 2010</span></a> <span class="meta-sep">by</span> <span class="author vcard"><a class="url fn n" href="http://oshotimes.wordpress.com/author/oshonewsletters/" title="View all posts by OSHO Times">OSHO Times</a></span> </div> <div class="tweetmeme-button" id="tweetmeme-button-post-67" style="float: right; margin-left: 10px; margin-bottom: 5px; padding: 4px 0pt 2px 4px; background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </div> <p><strong>Only a loving person — one who is already loving — can find the right partner.</strong></p> <p>This is my observation: if you are unhappy you will find somebody who is unhappy. Unhappy people are attracted towards unhappy people. And it is good, it is natural. It is good that the unhappy people are not attracted towards happy people; otherwise they would destroy their happiness. It is perfectly okay.</p> <p>Only happy people are attracted towards happy people.</p> <p>The same attracts the same. Intelligent people are attracted towards intelligent people; stupid people are attracted towards stupid people.</p> <p>You meet people of the same plane. So the first thing to remember is: a relationship is bound to be bitter if it has grown out of unhappiness. First be happy, be joyful, be celebrating, and then you will find some other soul celebrating and there will be a meeting of two dancing souls and a great dance will arise out of it.</p> <div id="attachment_68" class="wp-caption aligncenter" style="width: 650px;"><a href="http://oshotimes.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/lawofattraction.jpg"><img class="size-full wp-image-68" title="The need to be loved is childish, immature. The need to love is mature." src="http://oshotimes.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/lawofattraction.jpg?w=640&h=426" alt="" height="426" width="640"></a><p class="wp-caption-text">The need to be loved is childish, immature. The need to love is mature.</p></div> <p>Don’t ask for a relationship out of loneliness, no. Then you are moving in a wrong direction. Then the other will be used as a means and the other will use you as a means. And nobody wants to be used as a means! Every single individual is an end unto himself. It is immoral to use anybody as a means.</p> <p>First learn how to be alone. Meditation is a way of being alone.</p> <p>If you can be happy when you are alone, you have learned the secret of being happy. Now you can be happy together. If you are happy, then you have something to share, to give. And when you give you get; it is not the other way. Then a need arises to love somebody.</p> <p>Ordinarily the need is to be loved by somebody. It is a wrong need. It is a childish need; you are not mature. It is a child’s attitude.</p> <p>A child is born. Of course, the child cannot love the mother; he does not know what love is and he does not know who is the mother and who is the father. He is totally helpless. His being is still to be integrated; he is not one piece; he is not together yet. He is just a possibility. The mother has to love, the father has to love, the family has to shower love on the child. Now he learns one thing: that everybody has to love him. He never learns that he has to love. Now the child will grow, and if he remains stuck with this attitude that everybody has to love him, he will suffer his whole life. His body has grown, but his mind has remained immature.</p> <p><strong>A mature person is one who comes to know the other need: that now I have to love somebody.</strong></p> <p><strong>The need to be loved is childish, immature. The need to love is mature.</strong></p> <p>And when you are ready to love somebody, a beautiful relationship will arise; otherwise not.</p> <p>“Is it possible for two people in a relationship to be bad for each other?” Yes, that’s what is happening all over the world. To be good is very difficult. You are not good even to yourself. How can you be good to somebody else?</p> <p>You don’t even love yourself! How can you love somebody else? Love yourself, be good to yourself.</p> <p>Your so-called religious saints have been teaching you never to love yourself, never to be good to yourself. Be hard on yourself! They have been teaching you be soft towards others and hard towards yourself. This is absurd.</p> <p>I teach you that the first and foremost thing is to be loving towards yourself. Don’t be hard; be soft. Care about yourself. Learn how to forgive yourself — again and again and again — seven times, seventy-seven times, seven hundred seventy-seven times. Learn how to forgive yourself. Don’t be hard; don’t be antagonistic towards yourself. Then you will flower.</p> <p>In that flowering you will attract some other flower. It is natural. Stones attract stones; flowers attract flowers. Then there is a relationship which has grace, which has beauty, which has a benediction in it. If you can find such a relationship, your relationship will grow into prayer;your love will become an ecstasy and through love you will know what the divine is.</p> <p>OSHO – Ecstasy: The Forgotten Language</p>Virag Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09701810232002379152noreply@blogger.com0