Thursday, 31 July 2008

Power Mantra

Robin says “Power doesn`t come from forcing people to listen to you and coercing them to do what you say because you have the right title on your business card.Real power comes when you spread your passion, offer people a reason to climb your strategic mountaintops, treat them with rare respect and give them permission to shine, grow and Lead Without Title.Be there for people and they will be there for you”

Amazing and True !

Saturday, 26 July 2008

Handling ego/anger with Acceptance , Approval , Appreciations (AAA) Part-1

Handling ego/Anger with Acceptance , Approval , Appreciations (AAA)

Two of my good friend fall in love and got married

One day, I was asking my friends wife , who you handle my friend ( her husband ) because some time he seems to be very egoistic. She say simply by “acceptance” , acceptance is power. I oppose and said that mean you compromise too much and it look unfair. She just say no …….

She keeps explaining me, See ego is like hunger and everybody has ego (little or more). Until unless you don’t feed hunger s/he will not think any thing else. If you say your problem is that you thinking too much on stomach. It is no use. So feed hunger, once s/he satisfy , then tell what we think is right and what is wrong again make no demand just tell preferences. If you demand and keep thrashing,
it will increase his/her ego/hunger and make person more demanding. Once her/his hunger is satisfy, s/he ready to listen (that is important). In bottom of mind and heart every egoist person know what is right and what is wrong. It is his/her ego(=hunger ) that keep them away from wisdom/truth/understanding. Once his/her ego/hunger is satisfy, s/he able to concentrate on wisdom/truth and will behave more understanding way. Give person there space so he/she able to
analyze them self other wise s/he keep repeating.

Again if cup is full of tea and if you pore more tea , it will fell down. Same bubble of ego ( = wrong belief/image ) occupy all space in cup(= mind). Once ego / hunger is satisfy , bubble bust and there is enough space to occupy new thought / belief / wisdom / truth.

I oppose again and said , this way you will make person more demanding , every time his/her ego grow up. She Said use this formula AAA, ego will never grow up. AAA means

A – Acceptance
A – Approval
A – Appreciations

She future said gratitude is power. First Accept what you have , Approve what you have and appreciate what you have. End of the day stability in life and peace of mind is more important then any other things.
She further explain relation between belief system and ego. ………..
She is from Big metro city and her husband is from Small town … and how she handle belief system clash and culture differences clash …….. very peace fully ……..with AAA

Person died who hindering your growth

The most important relationship you can have, is the one you have with yourself

One day all the employees reached the office and they
saw a big advice on the door on which it was written:

"Yesterday the
person who has been hindering your growth in this company passed away. We invite
you to join the funeral in the room that has been prepared in the gym".

In the beginning, they all got sad for the death of one of their
colleagues, but after a while they
started getting curious to know who was that man who hindered the growth of his
colleagues and the company itself.

The excitement in the gym was such that security agents
were ordered to control the crowd within the room.

The more people reached the coffin, the more the excitement heated up.

Everyone thought: "Who is this guy who was hindering my
progress? Well, at least he died!".

One by one the thrilled employees got closer to the
coffin, and when they looked inside
it they suddenly became speechless. They stood nearby the coffin, shocked and in silence, as if someone had touched the deepest part of their

There was a mirror inside the coffin: everyone who
looked inside it could see himself.

There was also a sign next to the mirror that said:

"There is only one person who is capable to
set limits to your growth: it is YOU.
You are the only person who can revolutionize your life.
You are the only person who can influence your happiness, your realization and your success. You are the only
person who can help yourself.

Your life does not change when your boss
changes, when your friends
change, when your parents
change, when your partner
changes, when your company changes.
Your life changes when YOU change,
when you go beyond your limiting beliefs, when you realize that you are the only one
responsible for your life.

"The most important relationship you can
have, is the one you have with

Examine yourself, watch yourself. Don't be afraid of
difficulties, impossibilities and
losses: be a winner, build yourself
and your reality.

The world is like a mirror: it gives back to anyone the
reflection of the thoughts in which one has strongly believed.

The world and your reality are like mirrors laying in a
coffin, which show to any individual
the death of his divine capability to imagine and create his happiness and his

It's the way you face Life that makes the difference

I recieved this email box .............



Once there was an old and very wise man. Every day he would sit outside a gas station in his rocking chair and wait to greet motorists as they passed through his small town. On this day, his granddaughter knelt down at the foot of his chair and slowly passed the time with him.

As they sat and watched the people come and go, a tall man who surely had to be a tourist -- since they knew everyone in the town -- began looking around as if he were checking out the area for a place to live.

The stranger walked up and asked,"So what kind of town is this that we're in?"

The older gentleman slowly turned to the man and replied," Well, what kind of town are you from?"

The tourist said,"In the town I'm from everyone is very critical of each other. The neighbours all gossip about everyone, and it's a real negative place to live. I'm sure glad to be leaving. It is not a very cheerful place. "

The man in the chair looked at the stranger and said," You know, that's just how this town is."

An hour or so later a family that was also passing through stopped for gas. The car slowly turned in and rolled to a stop in front of where the older gentleman and his granddaughter were sitting. The mother jumped out with two small children and asked where the restrooms were. The man in the chair pointed to a small, bent-up sign that was barely hanging by one nail on the side of the door.

The father stepped out of the car and also asked the man,"Is this town a pretty good place to live?"

The man in the chair replied," What about the town you are from? How is it?"

The father looked at him and said,"Well, in the town I'm from everyone is very close and always willing to lend their neighbour a helping hand. There's always a hello and thank you everywhere you go. I really hate to leave. I feel almost like we are leaving family. "

The older gentlemen turned to the father and gave him a warm smile. "You know, that's a lot like this small town."

Then the family returned to the car, said their thank yous, waved goodbye and drove away.

After the family was in the distance, the granddaughter looked up at her grandfather and asked,"Grandpa, how come when the first man came into our town you told him it was a terrible place to live and when the family came in to town you told them it was a wonderful place to live? "

The grandfather lovingly looked down at this granddaughter's wondering blue eyes and said,"No matter where you move, you take your own attitude with you and that's what makes it terrible or wonderful. "

It's your attitude, not your aptitude that determines your altitude.
Happiness is not something you find, it's something you create. It is within you , nobody else is responsible for it.
Picture this : your flight is delayed due to weather and you miss your connection.

You can either have a bad attitude about it and blame the airline and every person who is associated with the airline and then go off unhappy and late


you can accept it and move on to the next solution.

Attitude is everything.It can make or break a situation !

Recently there has been a lot of hubub over the show “The Secret” so much so that Oprah and Larry King have done shows about “The Secret”. The story revolves around a universal principle that we get what we give in life. I believe this and while I think that “The Secret” is an old message in a new package, I believe that we all should heed the message. Stephen Covey has taught this for years, in fact in 89 he stated, “Our behaviors are a function of our decisions not our conditions”. In other words we decide what we will do, we being the key word, not the world around us.

Take some time and think about your attitude and the priniciple that you get from life what you put into it. If you are negative, you’ll get negative, if you are positive you’ll get positive. In fact if you are positive, the hiccups in life will be value laden and if you are negative the hiccups in life will be sorrows with no value.

Make the choice and have a positive responsible attitude in life, then teach this very principle to someone else. Its the way we move the message and make the world a better place

Soch ko Badlo, Sitare Badal Jayenge. Nazar ko Badalo, Nazare badal Jayenge. Kashtiya Badalne ki Zarurat Nahin, Dishao Ko Badalo, Kinare Badal Jaayenge!!

Love all , trust few , don't do wrong to anybody

Be Brave
A real man is who can smile in trouble, who can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. It's the business of little minds to shrink, but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death.

Treat everyone with politeness, Even those who are rude to U.....Not because they are not nice, But bcoz u are nice....!!!

Don't cry in Love coz 4 whom u r crying does not deserve ur tears & the person who deserves it will never let u cry!!!

You can win me, you can lose me but never try 2 use me

Interests: - Enjoying life as it is........ you are another child of god pure , calm , loving
DOn't be Judemental - Critical - Rigid - Close Mind

The most important relationship you can have, is the one you have with yourself

Just for today, do not worry.
Just for today, do not anger.
Just for today in good and happy, cheerful mood.
Just for today keep similing
Just for today, do not egoiest. -> Open Minded -> try to see world with others POV.
Just for today , do not short tamper ...PTR ... patients ..limit is set by your mind/thinking/communication
Earn your living honestly(Ask yourself every day: "Did I give my best effort to today's activities?").
Honor your parents, teachers, and elders.
Show gratitude to everything.
See BIG Picture ...concentrate on your need , Never Let Small things Bother You
If need a help , speak out/communicate honestly or take experts help

> *Love While You Live**
> Realize things before its too late.
> Have lots of friends before you are alone.
> Accept things rather than deny them.
> Love people before you loose them.
> Life comes just once.
> Love it while you live it.* * *
> I'm not the best
> but I 'm not like the rest

“The Secret” -> that we get what we give in life.

Attitude is everything.It can make or break a situation !

“Our behaviors are a function of our decisions not our conditions”

“Your mind can only hold one thought at a time, make it a positive and constructive one.”

Sunday, 20 July 2008

Lose your ego and bow down! : Good One

Gautam Buddha was once travelling from Shravasti to Varanasi. When he got tired, he rested under a tree, on an ancient podium. A poor farmer saw Buddha and came to pay his respects, but before bowing down before him, he prostrated himself in front of the podium. Buddha asked him why. He replied: "I'm uneducated but it is our village tradition to bow to this podium. I feel a certain reverence towards this podium and I feel very happy when I follow the tradition."

Buddha blessed him and told him to continue the tradition. Buddha's other disciples asked him: "We don't understand this. You don't teach any prayer. You don't support tradition. Why didn't you advise the poor farmer to be free from this blind faith? Just the other day, you scolded a Brahmin Agnidatta for doing the same thing!"

Buddha replied: "This farmer bows in innocence. Agnidatta is educated and egoistic. His prayer has no heart. It is important to learn the art of bowing down and being humble. Then, it does not matter where you bow-to this podium or to any temple. Agnidatta is a scholar, and he is proud of his scholarliness. He has a mindset but no humbleness. I had to shake him and wake him up. I don't give the same advice to two people, as every individual is unique."

After explaining this to his monks, Buddha asked them to meditate near the podium. All of them experienced divine light radiating from the podium. Wonderstruck, they asked their master about the mystery of the podium. Buddha replied: "This podium is 'alive'. It's the samadhi of Kashyap, a past Buddha. In my last life, I met him. I was simply a seeker then. Kashyap told me: 'You will be enlightened in your next life. I see it.'" Buddha went on: "Kashyap made me aware of my potential and I have attained it. There have been thousands of Buddhas in the past; there will be thousands in the future. What is important is to learn how to bow down. It rids you of your ego. It makes you divine."

The modern world is becoming intellectual and rapidly losing touch with innocence. Everybody knows a lot but feels very little. The head becomes heavy and suppresses the heart's softness. The head creates a false centre in us and we lose our individuality. Ego is false life.

Osho explains: "The ego is not an individual. Ego is a social phenomenon. It gives you a social hierarchy. If you stay satisfied with it, you miss the opportunity to find yourself. That's why you are miserable. With a false life, how can you be ecstatic? Ego creates miseries, millions of them." You cannot see it, because it is your own darkness. You are attuned to it. All miseries enter through the ego. It cannot make you blissful, only miserable. Ego is hell.

Whenever you suffer, watch and analyse. You will find that ego is the cause. And the ego goes on finding causes to suffer. You are an egoist. Everyone is. Some people are grossly egoistic, just on the surface, so they are not so difficult. Some are subtly egoistic, deep down-they are the real problems. This ego clashes continuously with others because every ego is under confident about itself. It has to be, for it is a false thing. A man who attains his true self will never clash with anyone.

Osho illustrates this with a Zen story: "A Zen master was walking. A man came and hit him. The master fell down, got up and started walking, just like earlier. He didn't look back once. His disciple was shocked. He said, 'If one lives in such a way, then anybody can come and kill you. And you have not even looked at that person... Why did he do it?' The master said, 'That is his problem, not mine.'"

You can clash with an enlightened man, but that is your problem, not his. If you are hurt in that clash, that too is your own problem. It is like knocking against a wall!

Ego is attachment to wrong image or believe system. Believe system consist from your "sanskar" ( how you brought up) , surrounding ( friends , school/collage , society etc ) and information ( news ...etc).

Thought -> Believe -> pattern -> Habit -> Character -> Destiny

Tuesday, 15 July 2008

There Are Absolutely No Paths To The Truth

There Are Absolutely No Paths To The Truth

Jiddu Krishnamurti

We have been told that all paths lead to Truth — you have your path as a Hindu, someone else has his path as a Christian and another as a Muslim, and they all meet at the same door — which is, when you look at it, so obviously absurd.

Truth has no path, and that is the beauty of Truth; it is living. A dead thing has a path to it because it is static, but when you see that Truth is something living, moving, which has no resting place, which is in no temple, mosque or church, which
no religion, teacher, philosopher, nobody can lead you to — then you will also see that this living thing is what you actually are: your anger, brutality, violence, despair, the agony and sorrow you live in. In the understanding of all this is the truth, and you can understand it only if you know how to look at those things in your life. And you cannot look through an ideology, through a screen of words, through hopes and fears.

So you see that you cannot depend upon anybody... There is no guide, no teacher, no authority. There is only you — your relationship with others and with the world — there is nothing else. When you realise this, it either brings great despair, from which comes cynicism and bitterness, or, in facing the fact that you and nobody else are responsible for the world and for yourself, for what you think, what you feel, how you act, all self-pity goes. Normally we thrive on blaming others, which is a form of self-pity.

I am not formulating any philosophy or theological structure of ideas or concepts. All ideologies are utterly idiotic. What is important is to observe what is actually taking place in our daily life, inwardly and outwardly. If you observe very
closely what is taking place and examine it, you will see that it is based on an intellectual conception, and the intellect is not the whole field of existence; it is a fragment, and a fragment cleverly put together, however ancient and traditional, is still a small part of existence whereas we have to deal with the totality of life.

And when we look at what is taking place in the world we begin to understand that there is no outer and inner process; there is only one unitary process, it is a whole, total movement, the inner movement expressing itself as the
outer and the outer reacting again on the inner. To be able to look at this is all that is needed, because if we know how to look, then the whole thing becomes very clear, and to look needs no philosophy, no teacher. Nobody need tell you how to look. You just look.

Can you then, seeing this whole picture... easily, spontaneously, transform yourself? That is the real issue. Is it possible to bring about a complete revolution in the psyche?
If i were foolish enough to give you a system and if you were foolish enough to follow it, you would merely be copying, imitating, conforming, accepting, and when you do that you have set up in yourself the authority of another and hence there is conflict between you and that authority. So you will lead a double life between the ideology of the system and the actuality of your daily existence. In trying to conform to the ideology, you suppress yourself — whereas what is actually true is not the ideology but what you are. If you try to study yourself according to another, you will always remain a second-hand human being.

Extracted from Freedom from the Known. Another view on the subject was published on June 28: ‘According To Your Ability Choose Your Path’ by Swami Niranjanananda Saraswati.

Tuesday, 8 July 2008



Even though our bodies may age, if we maintain an active, positive attitude our hearts and minds will remain young for as long as we live, says Daisaku Ikeda

When i was younger, i thought i had nothing to do with those who were elderly. I think most young people find it hard to believe that they themselves will grow old. The reality is however, that now i am among the “elderly” and I can’t move with the speed and ease that i once did.
My teacher used to say that the last years of our life are the most important. If those last few years are happy ones, we have had a happy life. Old age is a time of spiritual fruition and completion. When people are no longer pursuing position or status, money or material possessions, they can look closely at themselves and at the reality of life and death without the distractions of superficial concerns.
When you reach old age, you know in your heart if you have lived a satisfying life or not. No one else can know this or decide it for you. The single greatest challenge we each will face is whether we can honestly say at the end of our days on this Earth that our life has been well spent.
I believe that whether we can live a truly satisfying life to the end depends to a considerable extent on how we view death. Sadly, many older people are anxious and fearful about death. But, as a Buddhist, i find it helpful to compare the cycles of life and death to the daily rhythms of waking and sleeping. Just as we look forward to the rest sleep brings after the efforts and exertions of the day, death can be seen as a welcome period of rest and re-energizing in preparation for a new round of active life. And just as we enjoy the best sleep after a day in which we have done our very best, a calm and easy death can only follow a life lived to the fullest without any regrets.

It is natural for trees to bear fruit in the harvest season, and in the same way, old age is a period of ripening. It can be the most valuable time in human life, when we have rich experience, deeply polished character, and a pure and gentle heart. The loss of certain capacities with age is nothing to be ashamed of. Rather, i feel the various infirmities of age should even be seen as badges of honour and worn with pride.

There is a saying that goes, “To a fool, old age is a bitter winter; to a wise man it is a golden time.” Every
thing depends on your own attitude, how you approach life. Do you view old age as a period of decline ending in death, or as a time in which one has the opportunity to attain one’s goals and bring one’s life to a rewarding and satisfying completion? The same period of old age will be dramatically different depending upon your own outlook. I received a letter a few years ago from a woman in Kyoto who was then 67 years old. Her advice was as follows: “We need to banish any expression of defeat from our minds-statements or thoughts such as ‘I can't do it,’ ‘I’m too old,’ ‘There's no point in my trying,’ ‘I am past it,’ or ‘It’s too hard.’ Instead we should be telling ourselves: ‘I won’t give up yet,’ ‘I’m still young,’ ‘I can still do it,’ ‘I have still got plenty of energy.’ Just by changing the way we speak to ourselves and others we can change our pattern of behaviour in a positive direction.”

Research shows that when people
make continuous use of their powers of memory and concentration, these abilities need not fade. An active interest in others, finding new pastimes and making new friends-such positive attitudes have been shown to slow physical and mental decline.

Even though our bodies may age, if we maintain an active, positive attitude, our hearts and minds will remain youthful as long as we live.

To quote the poet Samuel Ullman,
“Youth is not a time of life; it is a state of mind; it is not a matter of rosy cheeks, red lips and supple knees; it is a matter of the will, a quality of imagination, a vigor of the emotions; it is the freshness of the deep springs of life.”

It is vital to always look to the future, to have plans and aspirationssuch an outlook is crucial to making the last years of one’s life rewarding and fulfilling. One woman whose youthful attitude greatly impressed me was the American painter known as “Grandma Moses.” She had produced around fifteen hundred paintings by her death at the age of one hundred and one. Yet she didn’ t even start painting until she was seventy-five. She had never studied painting and was an ordinary farmer's wife until then.

She had faced many difficulties in her life. Five of her ten children died young, and she lost her husband when she was sixty-six. She said that though she had experienced real pain and hardship, she refused to be dragged down by suffering and always looked ahead.

Whatever she encountered, Grandma Moses strove to make each day and each moment shine with her smile. After her surviving children left home and her husband died, she refused to give in to loneliness or step back from life. She took up the challenge of painting, and her last years glowed like a beautiful sunset. She wrote, “I look back on my life like a good day's work. It was done and i feel satisfied with it. I was happy and contented. I knew nothing better and made the best out of what life offered. And life is what we make it; always has been, always will be.”

There is a great difference between simply living a long life and living a full and rewarding life. What's really important is how much rich texture and color we can add to our lives during our stay here on Earth-however long that stay may be. Quality is the true value, not quantity.

The answers are within

The answers are within

Situations in themselves do not produce feelings. It is our perception of them that makes us feel good or bad

Paul Coutinho

Stephen Covey, in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, shares an experience that he once had while traveling on the New York subway. Imagine you are riding the subway early one morning, and everybody appears to be comfortable — people are drinking their coffee, reading their newspapers and magazines, working on their laptops, talking on their cell phones. Everything is normal and peaceful.

At each station, a few people get off, a few people get on, everything is calm and sedate, until the train stops at a particular station and a man walks onto your train car with his little children. He finds seats for them and then sits down in a reflective mood. While he is in deep meditation, the children begin to run up and down the aisle, screaming and shouting, running all over the train car.

How do you feel? Are you mad at the man? Why are you mad? You are perhaps thinking, This man should take care of his children in public. If he does not know how to take care of children, why did he have them in the first
place! Are you mad at the children for making so much noise? Spoiled kids! you might think. You notice there is no mother. Now you might be thinking, I bet the mother left this man with these undisciplined children. See yourself going up to this irresponsible father and confronting him, saying, “Excuse me, sir, would you mind tending to your children? They’re being so disruptive, and I think everybody is getting a little upset.” The man looks up at you and says, “Two hours ago these children lost their mother in the hospital. She just died, and ever since then I have been trying to explain to them the death of their mother, and their only reaction is this.”

Now how do you feel? The children are still jumping up and down, screaming and shouting. But now you feel terrible. You feel guilty. You feel sorry for the man, you feel sorry for the children, and you feel bad about their mother. You might even feel
upset with yourself for feeling negatively about the father and his children.

I give you this example to demonstrate the power of our beliefs. Emotions are not caused by situations. Emotions are caused by our beliefs about situations, beliefs that color our perception and our understanding of events. In this example, the children are still jumping up and down and shouting, but some of us have moved from being upset to feeling sad, compassionate, and concerned.

Others may still feel angry, because they believe that children should always behave in public. Beliefs cause emotions that trigger behavior. If we feel angry about a situation and react in anger, it is because we have angry beliefs about it. If we feel compassionate, it is because we have compassionate beliefs.

Situations in themselves do not produce feelings. It is our perception of the situation that makes us feel good
or bad. Just as situations cannot make us happy or sad, another person cannot make us feel happy or sad. We choose to be happy or sad. If we seek greater freedom in our lives, we need to be objective and rational about the power of our beliefs versus the power of situations. We control our emotions. When we live in freedom, we choose the way we respond rather than let our automatic destructive reactions get the better of us.

Now you might ask, “Okay, but how do I do this? How do I choose to respond when I am under pressure, when I have been taught to fear or fight, when the situation seems ‘bad’ to me?” The “PQR formula” can help us live freely in stressful, anxious, or depressing situations. We Pause to Question how we would like to Respond rather than react and live to regret our negative reaction.

Let me try to explain what I mean by react: You push; I shove. Without thinking, I shove. This is my reaction. It is immediate and disconnected from my higher Self, the constant “I”, and the meaning of my life. My reaction is an imprisoned effect. This is not freedom.

By applying the PQR formula, however, I can respond. I pause (find myself in the situation), question (How does this situation relate to the meaning of my life? How do I wish to respond given a world of infinite possibilities?), and then respond (a freely chosen action — not a reaction). Responding rather than reacting helps us live freely and in greater harmony with our true identity in every situation. It helps us grab hold of the freedom we seek in order to enter into the river of divine life.


Placing your happiness in the hands of others will lead to a lot of pain and disappointment, says Donna Thomson

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet,” said James Oppenheim. True happiness cannot be sought outside of yourself — not in your relationships with others, the groups you belong to, or in the things around you. Unless you can stand alone in your own shadow and feel happiness from within, true happiness may always elude you for external things come and go like the tide. The only constant in your life is you. Love you, admire you, value you and be happy to be you.

Why do we seek happiness from outside of ourselves? From His Holiness The Dalai Lama: “Consider the following. We humans are social beings. We come into the world as the result of others’ actions. We survive here in dependence on others. Whether we like it or not, there is hardly a moment of our lives when we do not benefit from others' activities. For this reason it is hardly surprising that most of our happiness arises in the context of our relationships with others.”

So we learn from a young age to rely on others rather than on ourselves. If we rely on others for our food, shelter and other needs, why not happiness? Well happiness of course does come from many things and our social relationships and other external factors can bring us much joy, but many of us have not connected with ourselves as we have connected with others. The negative side is that placing all of your happiness in the hands of others will lead to a lot of pain and disappointment throughout your life.

No matter how much you love a partner, a child, or a friend, you cannot make your happiness conditional upon them. Why? Because you will have certain expectations of others and when those expectations aren’t met, you may feel hurt, betrayed, misunderstood, taken for granted, invalidated, confused and so on. Everyone is individual. We have each grown to develop our own sets of values, beliefs, attitudes and ways of looking at the world. Our views may not be exactly the same as our loved ones. However, we often expect those loved ones to know what we want from them.

When someone else’s actions don't live up to your expectations you are let down. Often the other person won’t even realise they’ve done something to cause you pain because they don’t know your expectations unless you have explicitly shared them. Often we don’t even realise our own expectations until we feel someone has hurt or disappointed us.
For example
, you may unconsciously expect your partner to show their love in a particular way such as saying “I love you” regularly and when this doesn’t hap
pen you start to wonder if they truly care for you. You may feel unacknowledged and unloved. However your partner may feel that they are showing their love through their actions. You have one belief while your partner has another. Is there a lack of love? No. While you let your feelings build into a stressful negative state within you, your partner would probably be very surprised to know you feel that way.

It’s unrealistic to expect another person to know what's in your head — your values, beliefs and expectations. Thinking “Well they should know!” is not good enough, yet most of us would have thought this of someone else at some stage. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. They see you become sad, angry, unresponsive to them, or upset and don’t know what they’ve done, or if it’s even them who has made you unhappy. This leads to negative feelings from both sides and possibly arguments that could be avoided through open communication.

Rather than looking to others for your needs, begin by looking within yourself. When you feel a sense of disappointment in someone, use it as an opportunity to analyse your own expectations. The only person who should truly be able to disappoint you is yourself — when you are not being true to yourself in some way. You can take that disappointment and turn it into a positive — a pledge; an action that you can take to better yourself.

Analyse why you are disappointed or hurt. You may find your initial thoughts or statements begin with “Because he did” or “Because she didn’t”. Now look deeper to the true reason for your disappointment. Such statements will start with “Because i expected”, “Because i wanted” or “Because i thought he or she should”.

You truly only ever have control over yourself and realising this can save you a lot of pain. Of course you can be disappointed in others but you have no control over their actions and reactions. You can share the reasons for your disappointment but you cannot expect the other person or situation to change because the other person has free will.

When you realise that you are responsible for your thinking and expectations, you will start to see that you’ve placed much of your happiness in the hands of others. You can now take your power back by recognising that you have the choice to react to something either negatively or positively. By making your happiness conditional upon another person, you hand your power over to them. You feel a ‘victim’ whenever things don’t go as you want or expect. In doing this, you set yourself up for pain, but you can now turn this around and instead set yourself up for happiness.

The key is to not expect a particular outcome. What happens next is up to you. You can choose to wallow in negative feelings which may further damage a relationship, or you can try to place a positive spin on the situation. Perhaps you can find your happiness in the fact that you’ve done your part in dealing with the situation by getting your issue out into the open. Realise that it may not be an issue to the other person, but ideally you will work together to reach a compromise. You can also decide to be happy for the other person and the pain they show you because it helps you to grow. There are always choices and different ways of looking at the same thing.

It puts things into perspective when you resign yourself to the fact that people do make mistakes — they forget things, they don’t think properly, they don’t always consider how others may be affected by their actions, they can act selfishly at times, and so on. We are all humans and we are designed to make mistakes as they are our greatest opportunities to learn. As Horace Friess says, “All seasons are beautiful for the person who carries happiness within.”

Sunday, 6 July 2008

Your life is your creation

Your life is your creation

You are creating your own reality, moment by moment, with the thoughts you choose to think and say

-Jim Donovan

Thoughts are things. You’ve probably heard this idea at one time or another. You’ve probably nodded your head in agreement understanding that thoughts are in fact, things. You probably believe this and accept that your thoughts, being things, do in fact have power. Have you really thought about this? Do you apply this to your day-today life? Hopefully you do, because you're every thought and word is contributing to your life experience.

For openers, your thoughts produce your emotions, which, in turn, result in how you feel about a particular event occurring in your life. It has always amazed me how people can walk around feeling a particular way and not understand that it is their own thoughts, or more accurately what they are telling themselves that is producing the feeling in the first place. This is why two people can look at the exact same event and have opposite feelings about it. You are creating your own reality, moment by moment, with the thoughts you choose to think and what you say, both to yourself and others.

Let’s explore this a little further. Most people will agree, and science can demonstrate, that everything in our world is a field of energy and therefore has a particular frequency. The chair you're sitting on, your car, your cat, dog, you and everything else including thoughts, have a field of energy or vibration. Recent scientific work has identified particular ranges of frequencies and scientists are able to measure them. Interestingly enough, negative energies, like anger and rage, measure very low on the scale, while positive energies like those given off by prayer and meditation reach the highest measurements.

At this point you may be wondering
what this has to do with your thoughts. Bear with me and I promise to connect the dots.The second part of this equation is the universal law that states “like attracts like”. This has been referred to as the law of attraction, law of similar and other names. What we choose to call it is not terribly important, what is important to understanding the part this plays in our lives.

Let's supposing for a moment you're in a bad mood. You're feeling pretty negative. At that particular moment in time your personal vibration, the energy of your thoughts and words is in the lower frequencies. Let’s call this particular mood, “Frequency X.” Now somewhere off in the distant universe, there is another negative experience. Maybe it’s a flat tire, whose frequency happens to be “X” as well. By virtue the law of attraction, you will begin attracting that or some other undesirable experience to you. There are no accidents. The universe works on a specific set of principals that do not waiver. Like attracts like, whether we believe it or not.

The good news is that the opposite is also true. If, for example, you are feeling
great, having invested time sitting and reading your goals and taking care to monitor your thoughts, intentions, and your internal and external dialog, you are now entering a high energy vibration and are in a place to attract other high vibrations, generally things that you want to have, into your life.

I’m not asking you to accept this blindly only that you begin to observe the world around you and see if this holds true for you. I'm sure you've noticed situations when, in a room full of people, one person seems to be the centre of attention. Why do you suppose this is? I’ll give you a hint, that's it's probably not her perfume.milarly, you probably know people who are always having undesirable experiences in their lives.

These are the people who have a lousy time in even the best restaurant. They seem to travel with dark clouds over them and always experience things going wrong in their everyday lives. If you observe and listen to them closely, you will begin to see the connection between what they think and say and what shows up in their lives.

Tuesday, 1 July 2008

Travel Light To Enjoy The Journey Of Life

Travel Light To Enjoy The Journey Of Life
Tia Paranjape

I often wonder: Is it possible to love without attachment? We do have so much love to give, but is it the right kind of love? We tend to feel a kind of ownership over all that we love though we don’t own anything or anyone.

It is easier to utter the words ‘I love you’ than to actually mean it. Love is perceived in many different ways. My mother would say: “Love, but never be possessive of what you love. Once you are possessive, you might claim ‘this is mine’ when in actuality nothing or no one is yours.”
We are all here on a spiritual journey. Along the way we find several co-travellers who become part of our lives but they too have their own destination. There is a hierarchy of love. Right on top are parents, spouse, children, siblings, other family and friends. Love stops here and further down the ladder it becomes ‘like’. Sri Sathya Sai Baba says love all as if your own. He talks of universal love. This is not easy to follow but maybe we could try. For starters, we could do little things that make people smile. A kind word or tone would not take away from you but give a lot to the other person.

Sri Sathya Sai Baba says: “If you want peace and if you want happiness you must live in love. Only through love will you find inner peace. Only through love will you find true happiness. Love flourishes through giving and forgiving. Develop your love! Immerse yourself in love!
“...Love is the basis of everything. It is the single most important quality that has to be developed. All your thoughts must become immersed in this quality of love... then truth will naturally establish itself in your heart.”

People who serve are Godlike; their service should be appreciated, whether they belong to your peer group or not. We need to learn to love without attachment. We love those who we feel are ours. What about the rest? Why is an amazing emotion like love saved only for those few people who we perceive as ours? For instance, how might one learn to love the person who has wronged us? I guess i would say OK, don’t love, but at least try not to hate. That is an improvement.

Again, received wisdom from my mother says things can never bring you happiness. Once you’ve bought something, its value diminishes. At first i used to think that was not true, but in time i learnt that it is one of the few truths in life. I constantly try and make an effort to not get attached to ‘things’ now because at the end of the day they are things. This doesn’t mean don’t shop, don’t want... it means realise that actual happiness cannot be attained from anything external.

Enjoy all the things you have and be grateful for it, as that too is the grace of God but do not expect it to give you anything. I find my peace every evening as i sit by myself and watch the sun set. That is when i feel real joy. The sun sets with such ease and that is how we should be.

I would get attached to songs and smells! Some smells can take you back in time and songs too can transport you to old memories. It is nice to remember but if we dwell on the past we are missing out on the present; we tend to miss out on new smells and songs as we’re so preoccupied with the old. We have to let go, because holding on to something does not give us ownership rights. So much baggage! To enjoy the journey, travel light. In other words, practise loving detachment.