Monday 28 December 2009

Taming Your Temper

Taming Your Temper


Poorly managed anger can damage your health, work and your relationships. Dr Sarah Edelman, psychologist and author of Change Your Thinking, offers these suggestions to get your anger under control:

Write a letter: Explain your anger in words—you don’t have to send it.

Cool off: “In an acute angry stage, it’s a good idea not to confront the person straightaway,” says Edelman.

Don’t throw a tantrum: “Venting can cause more problems than it solves,” says Edelman. “It can impair good relationships and it’s not good role-modelling for kids.”

Communicate: Slow down and think about what you want to say. Explain that you feel angry about something rather than acting aggressively. Listen carefully to the other person before you respond.

Use humour: If you think of a co-worker as a “dirt bag,” visualize them as a bag of dirt going about their day.

Seek alternatives: If the daily commute provokes uncontrollable road rage, consider different transport forms or a job closer to home.

Pros and cons: Ask yourself, “Is the anger achieving anything, or is it just hurting me?” Edelman warns, “Some people are reluctant to let anger go because they see that as a victory to the other person.”

Problem-solve: Ask yourself, “Is there anything I can do about this problem?” If not, move on.

Acceptance: “Sometimes we have to accept that injustice is a part of life,” says Edelman.

Dealing with other people’s rage
First of all, don’t tolerate abuse. “If someone is angry but not hostile, validating their perspective can help diffuse the situation,” says Edelman. Say, “I can understand why you feel that way and it must be upsetting.” This approach does not mean you’re taking responsibility for their anger. But if you have done something to provoke anger, saying “sorry” can work wonders.

- Sophie McNamara

From RD India ( http://www.rd-india.com/newsite/rdliving/you.asp)

Taming Your Temper

Taming Your Temper


Poorly managed anger can damage your health, work and your relationships. Dr Sarah Edelman, psychologist and author of Change Your Thinking, offers these suggestions to get your anger under control:

Write a letter: Explain your anger in words—you don’t have to send it.

Cool off: “In an acute angry stage, it’s a good idea not to confront the person straightaway,” says Edelman.

Don’t throw a tantrum: “Venting can cause more problems than it solves,” says Edelman. “It can impair good relationships and it’s not good role-modelling for kids.”

Communicate: Slow down and think about what you want to say. Explain that you feel angry about something rather than acting aggressively. Listen carefully to the other person before you respond.

Use humour: If you think of a co-worker as a “dirt bag,” visualize them as a bag of dirt going about their day.

Seek alternatives: If the daily commute provokes uncontrollable road rage, consider different transport forms or a job closer to home.

Pros and cons: Ask yourself, “Is the anger achieving anything, or is it just hurting me?” Edelman warns, “Some people are reluctant to let anger go because they see that as a victory to the other person.”

Problem-solve: Ask yourself, “Is there anything I can do about this problem?” If not, move on.

Acceptance: “Sometimes we have to accept that injustice is a part of life,” says Edelman.

Dealing with other people’s rage
First of all, don’t tolerate abuse. “If someone is angry but not hostile, validating their perspective can help diffuse the situation,” says Edelman. Say, “I can understand why you feel that way and it must be upsetting.” This approach does not mean you’re taking responsibility for their anger. But if you have done something to provoke anger, saying “sorry” can work wonders.

- Sophie McNamara

From RD India ( http://www.rd-india.com/newsite/rdliving/you.asp)

Friday 21 August 2009

Don’t let the best be enemy of the good

Don’t let the best be enemy of the good

VITHAL C NADKARNI



ONCE upon a time in a garret at back-of-beyond there lived a hack. He believed he was too good for the soul-killer of a job he did in daytime. He believed even more strongly that the magnum opus he was feverishly working on by night would, one day, proclaim his genius to a grateful world. His analyst however suspected otherwise. The shrink knew at first
hand the secret fears and public phobias that were sapping the hack’s Muse from bursting into full flower.
The wise lady therefore cautioned the genius-in-waiting against unrealistic aspirations which the writer seemed to have set up just in order to fail
(if only to ‘prove’ the greatness of his talent in an unfeeling world). She cited research findings galore about the perfectionists’ not-so-secret scripts of self-defeat, about how these too-goodfor-grimy-world angels deliberately seemed to adopt inefficient work habits that hurt their actual performance. They toiled slowly; agonised over every painful detail, and spent much more time on a project than it deserved without really adding too much additional value.
The procrastination of the perfectionist was even worse, the therapist warned. The procrastinators seemed to love the travel
or the struggle even more than actual goals and targets, perhaps because perfection often seemed to shimmer sweetly beyond our all-too-grubby human capacities. Other experts warned that perfectionism backfired when people measured their own worth entirely in terms of productivity and achievement. Vulnerable to a loss of self-esteem and painful mood swings after any setback, such people applied themselves inconsistently and ultimately ended up accomplishing less because of their impossible-to-please standards, they added. Voltaire, the French master of the bon mot, summed up this paradox perfectly: “The best is the enemy of the good.”
Perfectionism can also become an albatross around one’s neck when there is a mismatch between goals and energies in inappropriate areas. When a serious student with a tendency to obsess decides to devote the same kind of focus and zeal to dieting one could end up with anorexia, for example. How to strive without burn-out was the question.
The hack eventually saw the light (aided by kindly criticism and rejection slips). Easing up entirely on expectations, he flowed to fulfilment, just as the Bhagvad Gita advised.

Friday 6 February 2009

The 48 Laws of Power

The 48 Laws of Power

by Robert Greene and Joost Elffers

Law 1

Never Outshine the Master

Always make those above you feel comfortably superior.  In your desire to please or impress them, do not go too far in displaying your talents or you might accomplish the opposite – inspire fear and insecurity.  Make your masters appear more brilliant than they are and you will attain the heights of power.

Law 2

Never put too Much Trust in Friends, Learn how to use Enemies

Be wary of friends-they will betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy.  They also become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend, because he has more to prove.  In fact, you have more to fear from friends than from enemies.  If you have no enemies, find a way to make them.

 Law 3

Conceal your Intentions

Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions.  If they have no clue what you are up to, they cannot prepare a defense.  Guide them far enough down the wrong path, envelope them in enough smoke, and by the time they realize your intentions, it will be too late.

 Law 4

Always Say Less than Necessary

When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control.  Even if you are saying something banal, it will seem original if you make it vague, open-ended, and sphinxlike.  Powerful people impress and intimidate by saying less.  The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.

 Law 5

So Much Depends on Reputation – Guard it with your Life

Reputation is the cornerstone of power.  Through reputation alone you can intimidate and win; once you slip, however, you are vulnerable, and will be attacked on all sides.  Make your reputation unassailable.  Always be alert to potential attacks and thwart them before they happen.  Meanwhile, learn to destroy your enemies by opening holes in their own reputations.  Then stand aside and let public opinion hang them.

 Law 6

Court Attention at all Cost

Everything is judged by its appearance; what is unseen counts for nothing.  Never let yourself get lost in the crowd, then, or buried in oblivion.  Stand out.  Be conspicuous, at all cost.  Make yourself a magnet of attention by appearing larger, more colorful, more mysterious, than the bland and timid masses.

  Law 7

Get others to do the Work for you, but Always Take the Credit

Use the wisdom, knowledge, and legwork of other people to further your own cause.  Not only will such assistance save you valuable time and energy, it will give you a godlike aura of efficiency and speed.  In the end your helpers will be forgotten and you will be remembered.  Never do yourself what others can do for you.

 Law 8

Make other People come to you – use Bait if Necessary

When you force the other person to act, you are the one in control.  It is always better to make your opponent come to you, abandoning his own plans in the process.  Lure him with fabulous gains – then attack.  You hold the cards.

 Law 9

Win through your Actions, Never through Argument

Any momentary triumph you think gained through argument is really a Pyrrhic victory:  The resentment and ill will you stir up is stronger and lasts longer than any momentary change of opinion.  It is much more powerful to get others to agree with you through your actions, without saying a word.  Demonstrate, do not explicate.

 Law 10

Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky

You can die from someone else’s misery – emotional states are as infectious as disease.  You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster.  The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you.  Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.

Law 11

Learn to Keep People Dependent on You

To maintain your independence you must always be needed and wanted.  The more you are relied on, the more freedom you have.  Make people depend on you for their happiness and prosperity and you have nothing to fear.  Never teach them enough so that they can do without you.

 Law 12

Use Selective Honesty and Generosity to Disarm your Victim

One sincere and honest move will cover over dozens of dishonest ones.  Open-hearted gestures of honesty and generosity bring down the guard of even the most suspicious people.  Once your selective honesty opens a hole in their armor, you can deceive and manipulate them at will.  A timely gift – a Trojan horse – will serve the same purpose.

 Law 13

When Asking for Help, Appeal to People’s Self-Interest,

Never to their Mercy or Gratitude

If you need to turn to an ally for help, do not bother to remind him of your past assistance and good deeds.  He will find a way to ignore you.  Instead, uncover something in your request, or in your alliance with him, that will benefit him, and emphasize it out of all proportion.  He will respond enthusiastically when he sees something to be gained for himself.

 Law 14

Pose as a Friend, Work as a Spy

Knowing about your rival is critical.  Use spies to gather valuable information that will keep you a step ahead.  Better still: Play the spy yourself.  In polite social encounters, learn to probe.  Ask indirect questions to get people to reveal their weaknesses and intentions.  There is no occasion that is not an opportunity for artful spying.

 Law 15

Crush your Enemy Totally

All great leaders since Moses have known that a feared enemy must be crushed completely.  (Sometimes they have learned this the hard way.)  If one ember is left alight, no matter how dimly it smolders, a fire will eventually break out.  More is lost through stopping halfway than through total annihilation:  The enemy will recover, and will seek revenge.  Crush him, not only in body but in spirit.

 Law 16

Use Absence to Increase Respect and Honor

Too much circulation makes the price go down:  The more you are seen and heard from, the more common you appear.  If you are already established in a group, temporary withdrawal from it will make you more talked about, even more admired.  You must learn when to leave.  Create value through scarcity.

 Law 17

Keep Others in Suspended Terror: Cultivate an Air of Unpredictability

Humans are creatures of habit with an insatiable need to see familiarity in other people’s actions.  Your predictability gives them a sense of control.  Turn the tables: Be deliberately unpredictable.  Behavior that seems to have no consistency or purpose will keep them off-balance, and they will wear themselves out trying to explain your moves.  Taken to an extreme, this strategy can intimidate and terrorize.

 Law 18

Do Not Build Fortresses to Protect Yourself – Isolation is Dangerous

The world is dangerous and enemies are everywhere – everyone has to protect themselves.  A fortress seems the safest. But isolation exposes you to more dangers than it protects you from – it cuts you off from valuable information, it makes you conspicuous and an easy target.  Better to circulate among people find allies, mingle.  You are shielded from your enemies by the crowd.

 Law 19

Know Who You’re Dealing with – Do Not Offend the Wrong Person

There are many different kinds of people in the world, and you can never assume that everyone will react to your strategies in the same way.  Deceive or outmaneuver some people and they will spend the rest of their lives seeking revenge.  They are wolves in lambs’ clothing.  Choose your victims and opponents carefully, then – never offend or deceive the wrong person.

 Law 20

Do Not Commit to Anyone

It is the fool who always rushes to take sides.  Do not commit to any side or cause but yourself.  By maintaining your independence, you become the master of others – playing people against one another, making them pursue you.

 Law 21

Play a Sucker to Catch a Sucker – Seem Dumber than your Mark

No one likes feeling stupider than the next persons.  The trick, is to make your victims feel smart – and not just smart, but smarter than you are.  Once convinced of this, they will never suspect that you may have ulterior motives.

 Law 22

Use the Surrender Tactic: Transform Weakness into Power

When you are weaker, never fight for honor’s sake; choose surrender instead.  Surrender gives you time to recover, time to torment and irritate your conqueror, time to wait for his power to wane.  Do not give him the satisfaction of fighting and defeating you – surrender first.  By turning the other check you infuriate and unsettle him.  Make surrender a tool of power.

 Law 23

Concentrate Your Forces

Conserve your forces and energies by keeping them concentrated at their strongest point.  You gain more by finding a rich mine and mining it deeper, than by flitting from one shallow mine to another – intensity defeats extensity every time.  When looking for sources of power to elevate you, find the one key patron, the fat cow who will give you milk for a long time to come.

 Law 24

Play the Perfect Courtier

The perfect courtier thrives in a world where everything revolves around power and political dexterity.  He has mastered the art of indirection; he flatters, yields to superiors, and asserts power over others in the mot oblique and graceful manner.  Learn and apply the laws of courtiership and there will be no limit to how far you can rise in the court.

 Law 25

Re-Create Yourself

Do not accept the roles that society foists on you.  Re-create yourself by forging a new identity, one that commands attention and never bores the audience.  Be the master of your own image rather than letting others define if for you.  Incorporate dramatic devices into your public gestures and actions – your power will be enhanced and your character will seem larger than life.

 Law 26

Keep Your Hands Clean

You must seem a paragon of civility and efficiency: Your hands are never soiled by mistakes and nasty deeds.  Maintain such a spotless appearance by using others as scapegoats and cat’s-paws to disguise your involvement.

Law 27

Play on People’s Need to Believe to Create a Cultlike Following

People have an overwhelming desire to believe in something.  Become the focal point of such desire by offering them a cause, a new faith to follow.  Keep your words vague but full of promise; emphasize enthusiasm over rationality and clear thinking.  Give your new disciples rituals to perform, ask them to make sacrifices on your behalf.  In the absence of organized religion and grand causes, your new belief system will bring you untold power.

 Law 28

Enter Action with Boldness

If you are unsure of a course of action, do not attempt it.  Your doubts and hesitations will infect your execution.  Timidity is dangerous:  Better to enter with boldness.  Any mistakes you commit through audacity are easily corrected with more audacity.  Everyone admires the bold; no one honors the timid.

 Law 29

Plan All the Way to the End

The ending is everything.  Plan all the way to it, taking into account all the possible consequences, obstacles, and twists of fortune that might reverse your hard work and give the glory to others.  By planning to the end you will not be overwhelmed by circumstances and you will know when to stop.  Gently guide fortune and help determine the future by thinking far ahead.

 Law 30

Make your Accomplishments Seem Effortless

Your actions must seem natural and executed with ease.  All the toil and practice that go into them, and also all the clever tricks, must be concealed.  When you act, act effortlessly, as if you could do much more.  Avoid the temptation of revealing how hard you work – it only raises questions.  Teach no one your tricks or they will be used against you.

 Law 31

Control the Options: Get Others to Play with the Cards you Deal

The best deceptions are the ones that seem to give the other person a choice:  Your victims feel they are in control, but are actually your puppets.  Give people options that come out in your favor whichever one they choose.  Force them to make choices between the lesser of two evils, both of which serve your purpose.  Put them on the horns of a dilemma:  They are gored wherever they turn.

 Law 32

Play to People’s Fantasies

The truth is often avoided because it is ugly and unpleasant.  Never appeal to truth and reality unless you are prepared for the anger that comes for disenchantment. Life is so harsh and distressing that people who can manufacture romance or conjure up fantasy are like oases in the desert:  Everyone flocks to them. There is great power in tapping into the fantasies of the masses.

 Law 33

Discover Each Man’s Thumbscrew

Everyone has a weakness, a gap in the castle wall.  That weakness is usual y an insecurity, an uncontrollable emotion or need; it can also be a small secret pleasure. Either way, once found, it is a thumbscrew you can turn to your advantage.

  Law 34

Be Royal in your Own Fashion:  Act like a King to be treated like one

The way you carry yourself will often determine how you are treated; In the long run, appearing vulgar or common will make people disrespect you.  For a king respects himself and inspires the same sentiment in others.  By acting regally and confident of your powers, you make yourself seem destined to wear a crown.

 Law 35

Master the Art of Timing

Never seem to be in a hurry – hurrying betrays a lack of control over yourself, and over time.  Always seem patient, as if you know that everything will come to you eventually.  Become a detective of the right moment; sniff out the spirit of the times, the trends that will carry you to power.  Learn to stand back when the time is not yet ripe, and to strike fiercely when it has reached fruition.

 Law 36

Disdain Things you cannot have:  Ignoring them is the best Revenge

By acknowledging a petty problem you give it existence and credibility.  The more attention you pay an enemy, the stronger you make him; and a small mistake is often made worse and more visible when you try to fix it.  It is sometimes best to leave things alone.  If there is something you want but cannot have, show contempt for it.  The less interest you reveal, the more superior you seem. 

Law 37

Create Compelling Spectacles

Striking imagery and grand symbolic gestures create the aura of power – everyone responds to them.  Stage spectacles for those around you, then full of arresting visuals and radiant symbols that heighten your presence.  Dazzled by appearances, no one will notice what you are really doing.

Law 38

Think as you like but Behave like others

If you make a show of going against the times, flaunting your unconventional ideas and unorthodox ways, people will think that you only want attention and that you look down upon them.  They will find a way to punish you for making them feel inferior.  It is far safer to blend in and nurture the common touch. Share your originality only with tolerant friends and those who are sure to appreciate your uniqueness.

Law 39

Stir up Waters to Catch Fish

Anger and emotion are strategically counterproductive.  You must always stay calm and objective.  But if you can make your enemies angry while staying calm yourself, you gain a decided advantage.  Put your enemies off-balance: Find the chink in their vanity through which you can rattle them and you hold the strings.

Law 40

Despise the Free Lunch

What is offered for free is dangerous – it usually involves either a trick or a hidden obligation.  What has worth is worth paying for.  By paying your own way you stay clear of gratitude, guilt, and deceit.  It is also often wise to pay the full price – there is no cutting corners with excellence.  Be lavish with your money and keep it circulating, for generosity is a sign and a magnet for power.

Law 41

Avoid Stepping into a Great Man’s Shoes

What happens first always appears better and more original than what comes after.  If you succeed a great man or have a famous parent, you will have to accomplish double their achievements to outshine them.  Do not get lost in their shadow, or stuck in a past not of your own making:  Establish your own name and identity by changing course.  Slay the overbearing father, disparage his legacy, and gain power by shining in your own way.

Law 42

Strike the Shepherd and the Sheep will Scatter

Trouble can often be traced to a single strong individual – the stirrer, the arrogant underling, the poisoned of goodwill.  If you allow such people room to operate, others will succumb to their influence.  Do not wait for the troubles they cause to multiply, do not try to negotiate with them – they are irredeemable.  Neutralize their influence by isolating or banishing them.  Strike at the source of the trouble and the sheep will scatter.

Law 43

Work on the Hearts and Minds of Others

Coercion creates a reaction that will eventually work against you.  You must seduce others into wanting to move in your direction.  A person you have seduced becomes your loyal pawn.  And the way to seduce others is to operate on their individual psychologies and weaknesses.  Soften up the resistant by working on their emotions, playing on what they hold dear and what they fear.  Ignore the hearts and minds of others and they will grow to hate you.

Law 44

Disarm and Infuriate with the Mirror Effect

The mirror reflects reality, but it is also the perfect tool for deception: When you mirror your enemies, doing exactly as they do, they cannot figure out your strategy. The Mirror Effect mocks and humiliates them, making them overreact.  By holding up a mirror to their psyches, you seduce them with the illusion that you share their values; by holding up a mirror to their actions, you teach them a lesson.  Few can resist the power of Mirror Effect.

Law 45

Preach the Need for Change, but Never Reform too much at Once

Everyone understands the need for change in the abstract, but on the day-to-day level people are creatures of habit.  Too much innovation is traumatic, and will lead to revolt.  If you are new to a position of power, or an outsider trying to build a power base, make a show of respecting the old way of doing things.  If change is necessary, make it feel like a gentle improvement on the past.

Law 46

Never appear too Perfect

Appearing better than others is always dangerous, but most dangerous of all is to appear to have no faults or weaknesses.  Envy creates silent enemies.  It is smart to occasionally display defects, and admit to harmless vices, in order to deflect envy and appear more human and approachable.  Only gods and the dead can seem perfect with impunity.

Law 47

Do not go Past the Mark you Aimed for; In Victory, Learn when to Stop

The moment of victory is often the moment of greatest peril.  In the heat of victory, arrogance and overconfidence can push you past the goal you had aimed for, and by going too far, you make more enemies than you defeat.  Do not allow success to go to your head.  There is no substitute for strategy and careful planning.  Set a goal, and when you reach it, stop.

Law 48

Assume Formlessness

By taking a shape, by having a visible plan, you open yourself to attack.  Instead of taking a form for your enemy to grasp, keep yourself adaptable and on the move.  Accept the fact that nothing is certain and no law is fixed.  The best way to protect yourself is to be as fluid and formless as water; never bet on stability or lasting order.  Everything changes.

 

 Source => http://www2.tech.purdue.edu/cg/Courses/cgt411/covey/48_laws_of_power.htm

 

 

 

Thursday 5 February 2009

THE SEED

A successful business man was growing old and knew it was time to choose a successor to take over the business. Instead of choosing one of his directors or his children, he decided to do something different. He called all the young executives in his company together. 'It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO,' he said. 'I have decided to choose one of you.'

The young executives were shocked, but the boss continued. 'I am going to give each one of you a seed today - a very special seed. I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed I have given you. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next CEO.'

One man, named Henry, was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly, told his wife the story. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed. Every day, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow. Henry kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew. 


Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still nothing. By now, others were talking about their plants, but Henry didn't have a plant and he felt like a failure. Six months went by - still nothing in Henry's pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Henry didn't say anything to his colleagues, however. He just kept watering and fertilizing the soil – he so wanted the seed to grow.

A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company brought their plants to the CEO for inspection. Henry told his wife that he wasn't going to take an empty pot. But she asked him to be honest about what happened~

Henry felt sick at his stomach. It was going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his wife was right.

He took his empty pot to the board room. When Henry arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful--in all shapes and sizes. Henry put his empty pot on the floor and many of his colleagues laughed. A few felt sorry for him!

When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young executives. Henry just tried to hide in the back.

'My, what great plants, trees, and flowers you have grown,' said the CEO..'Today one of you will be appointed the next CEO!'

All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Henry at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered the financial director to bring him to the front.. Henry was terrified. He thought, 'The CEO knows I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!'

When Henry got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed. Henry told him the story.

The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Henry. He looked at Henry, and then announced to the young executives, 'Here is your next Chief Executive! His name is Henry !!!!!

Henry couldn't believe it. Henry couldn't even grow his seed. How could he be the new CEO the others said? 

Then the CEO said, 'One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me. today. But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead - it was not possible for them to grow. All of you, except Henry, have brought me trees and plants and flowers.

'When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Henry was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new Chief Executive!'

Moral:

  1. If you plant honesty, you will reap trust
  2. If you plant goodness, you will reap friends.
  3. If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment
  4. If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective.
  5. If you plant hard work, you will reap success.
  6. If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation.


So, be careful what you plant now; it will determine what you will reap later.

Wednesday 28 January 2009

Stop Dreaming and Start Building

I bet you have some great ideas. Ingenious ideas. Ideas that could make you incredibly rich. You’ve probablydreamt of the wealth and fame your ideas could bring you.

Here is the painful truth: It doesn’t matter.

Everyone has (or at least thinks they have) great ideas. Ideas for books, inventions, websites, services, …anything. But how many people actually have the courage and motivation to make those ideas a reality? To learn about book publishing and spend months perfecting a bestseller? To design, build, test, and patent a product? The answer, of course, is very few. That’s because it’s hard to do something original. It’s hard to pour your time and sweat into something that might not succeed. But, it’s the onlypath forward. The only way to achieve your dreams is to take action. Deliberate, faithful action.

Start Now

The time for action is now. Don’t placate yourself with your dreams for another week. That becomes a habit. Stop finding excuses. Start educating yourself.Start building real assets.

In congruence, here is a wonderful quote from Ze Frank’s New Year’s resolutions:

“I promise not to keep ideas in my head, unfulfilled and full of promise - not to let these vague outlines of future actions give me false confidence and security in the abstract. Instead I will execute them quickly and faithfully so that I am again on the brink of the unknown, hoping that these ideas were not the last that would ever come to me from God knows where.”

21 Suggestions for Success

21 Suggestions for Success

By H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

  1. Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.
  2. Work at something you enjoy and that’s worthy of your time and talent.
  3. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
  4. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
  5. Be forgiving of yourself and others.
  6. Be generous.
  7. Have a grateful heart.
  8. Persistence, persistence, persistence.
  9. Discipline yourself to save money on even the most modest salary.
  10. Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.
  11. Commit yourself to constant improvement.
  12. Commit yourself to quality.
  13. Understand that happiness is not based on possessions, power or prestige, but on relationships with people you love and respect.
  14. Be loyal.
  15. Be honest.
  16. Be a self-starter.
  17. Be decisive even if it means you’ll sometimes be wrong.
  18. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.
  19. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than the ones you did.
  20. Take good care of those you love.
  21. Don’t do anything that wouldn’t make your Mom proud.

H Jackson Brown is also the author of the bestseller Life’s Little Instruction Book.

Tuesday 27 January 2009

Confident

Are you a confident negotiator?
Do you have bad thoughts before a negotiation?
Are you afraid of the results of your negotiation?
Do you know how to increase your confidence during negotiation?

Here are 3 tricks to help you with your confidence:

1) Fake it

We have control over our own emotional states. We can alter our emotional states at any time of the day. When you start faking it, you actually start feeling it.

When you are feeling sad, notice how a smile can change your mood?

What should you do when you are not feeling confident?

You can speak slower.
You can walk taller.
You can sit up straight.
You can smile more.

Plenty of things to do to “fake” your confidence. Your thoughts can affect your actions and vice versa.

Simply put, the more you act confident, the more confident you think. the more confident you are.

2) Detach yourself from the outcome

People are so negative.

Before a race: “What if I lose?”
Before an exam: “What if I fail?”
Before an interview: “What if I don’t get the job?”
Before asking a guy/girl out on a date: “What if I’m too ugly?”
Before a negotiation: “What if _____ (fill in the blank)?”

It is so easy to allow all these negative thoughts of the negotiation outcome to affect you. Detach yourself from the outcome.

When you start to detach yourself from the outcome, you take it less personal and this dramatically increase your confidence.

3) Focus on the situation

When you are stressed over your negotiation, you tend to lose focus of the situation. You will be thinking of what to do, what to say and so on.

Remind yourself of the exact purpose of this negotiation.

As you become more focused on the situation, you find yourself more in control. With this, you start to feel more confident.

Confidence is what you need to increase the success of your negotiation. Do not let such negativity deflate your own self-confidence.

REMEMBER: Confidence is a key component. Own it.

Thursday 22 January 2009

Leggo your ego!

Leggo your ego!


Handling egos in the workplace well can spell the difference between havoc and healthy relationships, says Surekha Guptan



   Egos – we all have them! It is what gives us confidence. The overwhelming majority of us don't have inflated egos, but we're all capable of letting our egos run riot on occasion. Behavioral science experts believe that getting along with coworkers directly correlates with checking your ego at the door. From poor communication to failed negotiations, ego can lay a dangerous path of destruction. The obnoxious and overbearing behaviour that comes with it can damage creativity, undermine effective problem solving and cause stress. "Our creative director is a jerk," says Sambavi Suri, a visualiser. "He demands the credit for every idea, uses a lot of 'I' instead of 'we" during team efforts and dominates conversations and meetings. He does not miss a chance to criticize our ideas. His behaviour has had an adverse impact on our team morale." Egotistical people also feel that they have to be the center of attention to validate themselves. They often neglect the needs of those around them and think only in terms of what will suit them. "When we travel on projects, it's all about our manager and his needs," says Venkatesh Varsi, a marketing executive. "He makes sure he has the best room in the guest house, meals are ordered according to his tastes. He keeps us busy in the evenings so that we are unable to contact our families. This works well with him as he is single. I am sure given the size of his ego; there is no room for a partner." Research has found that more than onethird of all failed business decisions are driven by ego. An egotistical person often believes that another's success means they've failed. They feel better when people around them achieve and earn less. "While I can recognise the sign of a big ego in others, I did not realise that I too was operating on an out-of-control ego," shares Kamini Sarathy, head, overseas operations. "I was willing to do just about anything to gain power, grab the spotlight and undermine people. Taking an ego test on the internet was an eye-opener. I was behaving in a way that I would find disgusting in others." It is tempting to fight ego with an even bigger ego of your own. But that is just not the way to win the battle. The wear and tear of dealing with someone who's demanding and self-absorbed can be stressful. "Ego monsters can be bullies," says Aparna Sharma, Head, Human Resources. "A big ego is a sign of deeper personal insecurity so it calls for sensitive and compassionate handling. Rewarding teamwork instead of individual performance reduces the incentive for egotistic behaviour." If we are able to use our ego effectively, we can turn it into a positive asset. Driving away insecurity, it can be a powerful predictor of success.

QUESTIONS FOR self reflection



Do you find yourself:

Feeling the need to be the center of attention? Manipulating or dominating your co workers? Feeling recognised only if you are better than the team? Feeling the need for an 'I' instead of 'we' in the team? Ignoring your team's needs? Criticising other people's ideas? Objecting to most suggestions by the team? 'Using' people to move ahead in your career? Having meaningful relationships at work?

Thursday 8 January 2009

PEARLS OF WISDOM

PEARLS OF WISDOM

A mirror is only as good as the reflection in it.

An appreciative heart attracts more of what it appreciates.

The smallest deed done is greater than the best of intentions. 

Adversity does not build character, it reveals it.

Worry just enough to anticipate trouble but not so much as to bring it about.

Melt the icy fingers of fear with the sunshine of hope.

When you feel dog tired at night, it may be because you've growled all day long.

A good way to forget your troubles is to help others out of theirs.

The sweetest grapes are picked from the vineyard of friendship.

Being in a good frame of mind helps keep one in the picture of health.

People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.

Don't be so busy adding up your troubles that you forget to count your blessings.

We cannot direct the wind but we can adjust the sails.

The impossible can always be broken down into possibilities..

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is mystery, today is a gift! 
That's why it's called the present! 


~Authors Unknown

Have a wonderful day.....Enjoy the present

Friday 2 January 2009

Remember “I am”


Would you like to discover another Osho Meditation?

Remember “I am”

Wherever you are, remember yourself, that you are. This consciousness that you are should become a continuity. Not your name, your caste, your nationality — those are futile things, absolutely useless. Just remember that: I am. This must not be forgotten. Walking, sitting, eating, talking, remember that: I am.

It will be difficult, very arduous. In the beginning you will keep forgetting: there will be only single moments when you will feel illuminated, then it is lost. But don’t get miserable; even single moments are much. Go on, whenever you can remember again catch hold of the thread. When you forget, don’t worry — remember again, and by and by the gaps will lessen, the intervals will start dropping, a continuity will arise.

And whenever your consciousness becomes continuous, you need not use the mind. Then there is no planning, then you act out of your consciousness, not out of your mind. Then there is no need for any apology, no need to give any explanation. Then you are whatsoever you are; there is nothing to hide. Whatsoever you are, you are. You cannot do anything else. You can only be in a state of continuous remembrance. Through this remembrance, this mindfulness, comes the authentic religion, comes the authentic morality.

This is what Hindus call self-remembrance, what the Buddha called right-mindfulness, what Gurdjieff used to call self-remembering, what Krishnamurti calls awareness. This is the most substantial part of meditation, to remember that: I am.

You need not repeat it in the mind, “I am walking.” If you repeat it, that is not remembrance. You have to be non-verbally aware that “I am walking, I am eating, I am talking, I am listening.” Whatsoever you do, the ‘I’ inside should not be forgotten; it should remain.

It is not self-consciousness. It is consciousness of the self. Self-consciousness is ego. Consciousness of the self is asmita — purity, just being aware that ‘I am’.

Ordinarily, your consciousness is arrowed towards the object. You look at me: your whole consciousness is moving towards me like an arrow. But you are arrowed towards me. Self-remembering means you must have a double-arrow — one side of it showing to me, another side showing to you. A double-arrow is self-remembrance.

Osho: The Empty Boat, #4

Dropping the Armor

“It is just an armor, it is not clinging to you. You are clinging to it, so when you become aware, you can simply drop it. The armor is dead. If you don’t carry it, it will disappear. Not only are you carrying it, but nourishing and feeding it continuously.

But this is how civilization is — in a very neurotic state. Every child is fluid, he has no frozen parts in him; the whole body is one organic unity. The head is not important and the feet are not unimportant. In fact, division doesn’t exist; there are no demarcations. But by and by demarcations start coming up. Then the head becomes the master, the boss, and the whole body is divided into parts. A few parts are accepted by the society and a few parts are not. A few parts are dangerous for the society and have to be almost destroyed. That creates the whole problem.

So you have to watch where you feel limitations in the body. [The questioner responds: “in the legs, neck, chest and throat.”]
“Just do three things....”

Step 1: Exhale Deeply
“One: walking or sitting, or whenever you are not doing anything, exhale deeply. The emphasis should be on exhalation, not on inhalation. So exhale deeply — as much air as you can throw out, throw and exhale by the mouth. But do it slowly so it takes time; the longer it takes the better, because then it goes deeper. When all the air inside the body is thrown out, then the body inhales. Don’t you inhale. Exhalation should be slow and deep, inhalation should be fast. This will change the armor near the chest, and that will change your throat too.

Step 2: Run For Your Life!
Second thing: if you can start a little running that will be helpful. Not many miles, just one mile will do. Just visualize that a load is disappearing from the legs, as if it is falling. Legs carry the armor if your freedom has been restricted too much; if you have been told to do this and not to do that; to be this and not to be that; to go here and not to go there. So start running, and while running, also put more attention on exhalation. Once you regain your legs, and their fluidity, you will have a tremendous energy flow.

Step 3: Disarmoring
The third thing: in the night when you go to sleep, take off your clothes and, while taking them off, just imagine that you are not only taking off your clothes, you are taking off your armor too. Actually do it. Take it off and have a good deep breath — and then go to sleep as if unarmored, with nothing on the body and no restriction.”

Osho: Hammer on the Rock
Click here to discover another Osho Meditation

Finding Silence in the Center of Sound

Close your eyes and feel the whole universe filled with sound. Feel as if every sound is moving toward you and you are the center. This feeling that you are the center will give you a very deep peace. The whole universe becomes the circumference and you are the center, and everything is moving toward you, falling toward you.

The center is without sound, that is why you can hear sounds — a sound cannot hear another sound. The center is absolute silence. That is why you can hear sounds entering you, coming to you, penetrating you, encircling you.

If you can find out where is the center, where is the field in you to where every sound is coming, suddenly sounds will disappear and you will enter into soundlessness. If you can feel a center where every sound is being heard, there is a sudden transference of consciousness. One moment you will be hearing the whole world filled with sounds, and another moment your awareness will suddenly turn in and you will hear the soundlessness, the center of life.

Do not start thinking about the sounds — that this is good and that is bad, and this is disturbing and that is very beautiful and harmonious. Simply think of the center. Just remember that you are the center and all the sounds are moving toward you — every sound, whatsoever the sort.

Sounds are not heard in the ears, the ears cannot hear them. The ears only do a transmission work, and in the transmission they cut out much which is useless for you. They choose, they select, and then those sounds enter you. Now find out within, where is your center. The ears are not the center, you are hearing from somewhere deep down. The ears are simply sending you the selected sounds. Where are you? Where is your center?

Osho
Excerpted from The Book of Secrets

Click here to discover another Osho Meditation


What is our so-called life?

What is our so-called life?

A wintry gust disappears amid the bamboos and subsides to a calm.
Just a little drama, just a little playfulness and you are gone.

Our so-called life is so momentary that one should not get attached to it. Its only function — only proper function — can be to find the immortal.

Hidden behind every moment is the eternal. But you can go on moving on the surface, never going deeper into your consciousness. You will move for millions of lives on the surface like ripples.

It is sheer wastage of an immense awareness that can open all the doors of your originality, of your creativity, of your beauty, of your joy.

Each moment becomes such a dancing moment.

Osho:The Original Man, #2

Thursday 1 January 2009

क्या आप कोई और ध्यान खोजना चाहेंगे? Finding Silence in the Center of Sound

यदि आप अपने जीवन को संपूर्णता से जीना चाहते हैं तो पहले आपको अपनी संभावना के बारे में जानना होगा, यह जानना होगा कि आप कौन हैं। ध्यान इसी जानने की ओर एक कदम है। इस सजगता के विज्ञान की एक प्रक्रिया है।

आंतरिक विज्ञान का सौंदर्य यह है कि जो भी मार्ग तलाश रहा है, तथा अपने भीतर प्रयोग कर रहा है, यह उसे अपने एकांत में ऐसा करने में सहायता करता है। यह किसी भी बाह्य सत्ता पर निर्भरता, किसी संस्था के साथ जुड़ने की आवश्यकता को तथा किसी विचारधारा-विशेष को मानने की विवशता को समाप्त करता है। एक बार आपके कदम सध गये तो आप अपने, केवल अपने ढंग से अपने मार्ग पर चलने लगते हैं ।

कुछ ध्यान-विधियों में शांत व स्थिर बैठना आवश्यक है। परंतु हममें से अधिकतर लोगों के संग्रहीत मनोदैहिक तनाव के कारण ऐसा करना कठिन सा लगता है। इससे पहले कि हम अपनी चेतना के आंतरिक शक्ति-भंडार तक पहुंचने की आशा रखें, हमें पहले अपने तनावों से मुक्त होना होगा।



क्या आप कोई और ध्यान खोजना चाहेंगे?

Feeling Anxious? Be Alert!


जब तुम चिंता अनुभव करो, बहुत चिंताग्रस्त होओ, तब इस विधि का प्रयोग करो। इसके लिए क्या करना होगा? जब साधारणतः तुम्हें चिंता घेरती है तब तुम क्या करते हो? सामान्यतः क्या करते हो? तुम उसका हल ढूंढते हो; तुम उसके उपाय ढूंढते हो। लेकिन ऐसा करके तुम और भी चिंताग्रस्त हो जाते हो, तुम उपद्रव को बढ़ा लेते हो। क्योंकि विचार से चिंता का समाधान नहीं हो सकता है; विचार के द्वारा उसका विसर्जन नहीं हो सकता है। कारण यह है कि विचार खुद एक तरह की चिंता है।

यह विधि कहती है कि चिंता के साथ कुछ मत करो; सिर्फ सजग होओ, बस सावचेत रहो।

मैं तुम्हें एक दूसरे झेन सदगुरु बोकोजू के संबंध में एक पुरानी कहानी सुनाता हूं। वह एक गुफा में अकेला रहता था, बिलकुल अकेला। लेकिन दिन में या कभी-कभी रात में भी, वह जोरों से कहता था, "बोकोजू।' यह उसका अपना नाम था। और फिर वह खुद कहता, "हां महोदय, मैं मौजूद हूं।' और वहां कोई दूसरा नहीं होता था।
उसके शिष्य उससे पूछते थे, 'क्यों आप अपना ही नाम पुकारते हैं, और फिर खुद कहते हैं, हां महोदय, मैं मौजूद हूं?'
बोकोजू ने कहा, 'जब भी मैं विचार में डूबने लगता हूं तो मुझे सजग होना पड़ता है, और इसीलिए मैं अपना नाम पुकारता हूं, बोकोजू! जिस क्षण मैं बोकोजू कहता हूं और कहता हूं कि हां महाशय, मैं मौजूद हूं, उसी क्षण विचारणा, चिंता विलीन हो जाती है।'
फिर अपने अंतिम दिनों में, आखिरी दोत्तीन वर्षों में उसने कभी अपना नाम नहीं पुकारा, और न ही यह कहा कि हां, मैं मौजूद हूं।
तो शिष्यों ने पूछा, 'गुरुदेव, अब आप ऐसा क्यों नहीं करते?'
बोकोजू ने कहा, "अब बोकोजू सदा मौजूद रहता है। वह सदा ही मौजूद है, इसलिए पुकारने की जरूरत न रही। पहले मैं खो जाया करता था, और चिंता मुझे दबा लेती थी, आच्छादित कर लेती थी, बोकोजू वहां नहीं होता था, तो मुझे उसे स्मरण करना पड़ता था। और स्मरण करते ही चिंता विदा हो जाती थी।"

इसे प्रयोग करो। बहुत सुंदर विधि है यह। अपने नाम का ही प्रयोग करो। जब भी तुम्हें गहन चिंता पकड़े तो अपना ही नाम पुकारो--बोकोजू या और कुछ, लेकिन अपना ही नाम हो--और फिर खुद ही कहो कि हां महोदय, मैं मौजूद हूं। और तब देखो कि क्या फर्क पड़ता है। चिंता नहीं रहेगी; कम से कम एक क्षण के लिए तुम्हें बादलों के पार की एक झलक मिलेगी। और फिर वह झलक गहराई जा सकती है। तुम एक बार जान गए कि सजग होने पर चिंता नहीं रहती, विलीन हो जाती है, तो तुम स्वयं के संबंध में, अपनी आंतरिक व्यवस्था के संबंध में गहन बोध को उपलब्ध हो गए।

Osho: Excerpted from The Book of Secrets

कोई दूसरा ध्यान खोजने के लिये यहां क्लिक करें।



English Version

If you want to live a more fulfilled life, first you will want to know your potential, who you really are. Meditation is the route to that knowing. It is the methodology of the science of awareness.

The beauty of the inner science is that it enables whoever wants to explore and to experiment within, to do so alone. This eliminates dependence on an outer authority, the need to be affiliated with any organization and the obligation to accept a certain ideology. Once you understand the steps, you walk the walk in your own, individual way


Many meditative techniques require one to sit still and silent. But for most of us accumulated stress in our bodymind makes that difficult. Before we can hope to access our inner powerhouse of consciousness, we need to let go of our tensions


Would you like to discover another Osho Meditation?

Finding Silence in the Center of Sound



Close your eyes and feel the whole universe filled with sound. Feel as if every sound is moving toward you and you are the center. This feeling that you are the center will give you a very deep peace. The whole universe becomes the circumference and you are the center, and everything is moving toward you, falling toward you.

The center is without sound, that is why you can hear sounds — a sound cannot hear another sound. The center is absolute silence. That is why you can hear sounds entering you, coming to you, penetrating you, encircling you.

If you can find out where is the center, where is the field in you to where every sound is coming, suddenly sounds will disappear and you will enter into soundlessness. If you can feel a center where every sound is being heard, there is a sudden transference of consciousness. One moment you will be hearing the whole world filled with sounds, and another moment your awareness will suddenly turn in and you will hear the soundlessness, the center of life.

Do not start thinking about the sounds — that this is good and that is bad, and this is disturbing and that is very beautiful and harmonious. Simply think of the center. Just remember that you are the center and all the sounds are moving toward you — every sound, whatsoever the sort.

Sounds are not heard in the ears, the ears cannot hear them. The ears only do a transmission work, and in the transmission they cut out much which is useless for you. They choose, they select, and then those sounds enter you. Now find out within, where is your center. The ears are not the center, you are hearing from somewhere deep down. The ears are simply sending you the selected sounds. Where are you? Where is your center?

Osho
Excerpted from The Book of Secrets

Click here to discover another Osho Meditation

Notepad for collection good from net


"You are the average of the five people  you spend the most time with." 

####################
Goodness
 
Life without goodness,
Good thoughts, good
Actions and good words
Is like the sky in the
Night without the moon
Or stars. It is like a wheel
Without a hub or spokes!
 
No one can push a
Boulder away while
Standing on it; you
Cannot be free from
Anxiety while all the
Entrances through which
It sneaks are open!

#####################################

Good Morning.........

life is short,

 so break the rules............

forgive quickly,

believe slowly,

love truly,

laugh uncontrollably.....

              and

 never regret anything......

that  made you smile........

every little smile

can touch somebody's  heart!!!!

have a gr8 day...........

 DEAR FRIENDS......

- ASHA



##############################

MANOVIKAR form iLand blog

तनाव प्रबंधन के कुछ सटीक सूत्र
तनाव मनः स्थिति से उपजा विकार है.मनः स्थिति एवं परिस्थिति के बीच असंतुलन एवं असामंजस्य के कारण तनाव उत्पन्न होता है. तनाव एक द्वन्द है, जो मन एवं भावनाओं में गहरी दरार पैदा करता है. तनाव अन्य अनेक मनोविकारों का प्रवेश द्वार है. उससे मन अशान्त,भावना अस्थिर एवं शरीर अस्वस्थता का अनुभव करते हैं.ऐसी स्थिति में हमारी कार्यक्षमता प्रभावित होती है और हमारी शारीरिक व मानसिक विकास यात्रा में व्यवधान आता है. इससे बचने का एकमात्र उपाय है -परिस्थिति के साथ तालमेल रखना , जिससे तनावरूपी मनोविकार को हटाया-मिटाया जा सके.

परिस्थिति को स्वीकार न करने पर तनाव पैदा होता है. यह तनाव कई प्रकार का होता है. पारिवारिक तनाव , आर्थिक तनाव, आफ़िस का तनाव ,रोजगार का तनाव, सामाजिक तनाव. मनोनुकूल परिस्थिति-परिवेश के अभाव में व्यक्ति उद्विग्न ,अशान्त एवं तनावग्रस्त हो उठता है. इसमें केवल एक व्यक्ति प्रभावित होता है, परन्तु यह सीमा जब व्यक्ति को लांघकर परिवार में पहुँच जाती है तो परिवार तनावग्रस्त हो जाता है.पारिवारिक तनाव से परिवार के संवेदनशील रिश्तों में दरार एवं दरकन् पैदा हो जाती है जिससे छोटी-छोटी बातों को प्रतिष्ठा का प्रश्न बनाकर कलह एवं कहासुनी जैसी उलझनें खड़ी कर दी जाती हैं. सुन्दर व सुरम्य पारिवारिक वातावरण व्यंग्य और तानों का दंगल बन जाता है.

वैयक्तिक एवं पारिवारिक स्तर पर संपदा व संपति के सुनियोजन एवं सुव्यवस्था के अभाव में आर्थिक तनाव का जन्म होता है.उपभोक्तावादी अपसंस्कृति के कारण अपव्यय एवं जीवनशैली की अनियमितता में वृद्धि हुई है,जिससे यह संकट और भी गहरा हुआ है.सामाजिक तनाव समाज के विभिन्न घटकों,समूहों एवं वर्गों के बीच तालमेल के न होने से उत्पन्न होता है.आज का व्यक्ति , परिवार व समाज तनाव के इस विघटन,टूटन एवं दरकन् से ग्रस्त हैं. व्यक्ति हो या समाज,आज ये इस कदर तनावग्रस्त हैं की उन्हें अपना भार भी असह्य लग रहा है. वे अपने ही बोझ से दबे-कुचले किसी तरह अपनी गुजर-बसर कर रहें हैं.

तनाव परिस्थिति से नहीं मनः स्थिति से उपजता है.अगर ऐसा नहीं होता तो विपरीत एवं प्रतिकूल परिस्थितियों में भी आशा,उत्साह एवं उमंग की परिकल्पना नहीं की जा सकती. जीवट के धनियों एवं मनीषियों ने प्रतिकूलताओं में जीवन की राह खोजी है,अपने गंतव्य,लक्ष्य को प्राप्त किया है.सूरदास,अष्टावक्र,सुकरात आदि मनीषियों ने शारीरिक विकृति को हिनताजन्य तनाव नहीं माना और इसी समाज में उत्कर्ष व सफलता की बुलंदियों को स्पर्श किया.सन्त तुकाराम का पारिवारिक जीवन तनाव के घनघोर कुहाँसों में घिरा हुआ था,परन्तु वे इस कुहासा-हताशा के आवरण को चीरकर भक्ति की भावधारा में सदा सरोबार रहते थे.कबीरदास के जीवन में आर्थिक तनाव सघन घन बनकर बरसा था, परन्तु प्रभु के अलावा किसी के आगे उनने हाथ नहीं पसारे,याचना नहीं की और अलमस्त एवं आन्नदपूर्वक जिंदगी जीकर दिखा दी.सामाजिक निंदा,अपमान एवं तिरस्काररूपी गहन आंधी-तूफान के बीच मीराबाई ने कृष्णभक्ति की ज्योति जलाई. विपरीत परिस्थितियों में इन महामानव ने जितना कर दिखाया,उतना तो सामान्य एवं सहज परिवेश में भी संभव नहीं है. इसका एकमात्र कारण है,मनः स्थिति की सुदृढ़ता-सशक्तता. अतः तनाव परिस्थितियों में नहीं दुर्बल व अशक्त मनः स्थिति में वास करता है. मनीषियों व मनस्वियों को यह स्पर्श नहीं कर पाता है.

तनावजन्य मनोविकारों का आक्रमण केवल दुर्बल व कमजोर मानसिकताओं पर होता है. परिस्थिति तो सबके लिए समान होती है.एक ही परिस्थिति में रहने वालों में से संकल्पवान अपने इच्छित लक्ष्य को प्राप्त कर लेता है और विकल्प तलाशने वाला केवल विकल्प तलाशते रह जाता है. परिस्थितिजन्य तनाव ही प्रमुख व प्रबल होता तो एवरेस्ट के शिखर पर चढ़ा नहीं जा सकता था . जिसका मन परिस्थिति से तालमेल नहीं बैठा पाता उसी के अन्दर तनावजन्य विकृतियाँ अपना जाल बुनती हैं. ऐसे व्यक्ति का तंत्रिकातंत्र मन के आवेग को संभालने हेतु असमर्थ होता है.कष्ट-कठिनाइयों का हल्का झोंका भी इन्हें तार-तार कर देता है.

तनाव मुख्य रूप से नर्वस सिस्टम को प्रभावित करता है. तनाव से यह तंत्रिकातंत्र अत्यंत सक्रिय हो जाता है. इसकी सक्रियता हृदयगति एवं शर्करा के स्तर को बढ़ाने में सहायक होती है. इससे घबराहट होती है एवं सिर भारी रहता है. ऐसी अवस्था में नकारात्मक विचार उठते हैं और मन में निराशा-हताशा के बादल मंडराने लगते हैं.

तनाव मन में उत्पन्न होता है.अतः तनाव से मन प्रभावित होता है. तनावजन्य नकारात्मक
एवं निषेधात्मक विचारों से शरीर की प्रतिरक्षात्मक प्रणाली पर भी विपरीत असर पड़ता है. तनाव की अवधि
में श्वेत रूधिर कोशिकाओं की सहज सक्रियता कम हो जाती है.ये कोशिकाएँ शरीर की रोगों से रक्षा करती हैं तथा शरीर को स्वस्थ एवं निरोग बनाए रखने में अहम भूमिका निभाती हैं,परन्तु तनाव इस प्रतिरक्षात्मक
प्रणाली की मुस्तैदी को कम कर रोगों को प्रवेश करने का अवसर प्रदान करता है.

तनाव से मन में कई प्रकार के मनोविकार अपना स्थायी आवास बना लेते हैं. तनाव
से चिड़चिड़ापन पैदा हो जाता है. ऐसे व्यक्तियों का मानसिक संतुलन लगभग गड़बड़ा जाता है,परिणामस्वरूप नींद न आना,

हताशा-निराशा,कल्पनाओं में खोए रहना, डरना आदि मनोरोगों का प्रादुर्भाव होता है. ऐसे लोगों में निर्णय करने की क्षमता नहीं
होती है.

तनाव प्रबन्धन का प्रथम सूत्र है- वैचारिक खुलापन अर्थात आग्रह ,पूर्वाग्रह का अभाव . अच्छे विचारों को स्वीकृति एवं समर्थन देना चाहिए.इसी के आधार पर
सहयोग- सदभाव की भूमि तैयार होती है. सहयोग से स्वार्थवृति मिटती है और सेवा का भाव पनपता है,जिससे अपना विश्वास
प्रगाढ़ होता है. विश्वास ही विकास का मूल मंत्र है,उन्नति - प्रगति का साधन सोपान है. इस स्थिति में आकर ही स्वायत्तता की परिकल्पना की जा सकती है और स्वतंत्र रूप से अपनी योजना को कार्यरूप प्रदान किया जा सकता है.इसी में आंतरिक चेतना के परिष्कार तथा
वाह्या उन्नति की समस्त संभावनाएँ सन्निहित हैं.संभावना जब मूर्तरूप लेती है तो प्रामाणिकता के रूप में अभिव्यक्ति पाती है.
प्रामाणिकता आत्मविश्वास को जन्म देती है, तभी महान कार्य हेतु स्वयं का योगदान सम्भव हो सकता है और दूसरों का सहयोग मिल सकता है.तनाव प्रबंधन के इन सूत्रों में तनाव का समाधान समाहित है.
इसके साथ आवश्यक है सर्वशक्तिमान ईश्वर के प्रति श्रद्धा-आस्था की भावना. ईश्वर सर्वसमर्थ है, वह हमारी सभी समस्याओं का समाधान ,हताशा के कुहासे में ज्योतिर्मय पथ प्रदर्शक है.
वह हमारे तनाव का निवारक भी है. वह हमारे सभी मनोविकारों के सघन जंजाल को काटकर उत्साह,आनंद एवं प्रकाश से भर सकता है.अतः उसकी स्मृति को हृदय में बनाए रखने के लिए
गायत्री मंत्र की एक माला का न्यूनतम जप करना चाहिए.प्रत्येक दिन अपने नये जीवन का आत्मबोध एवं प्रत्येक रात्रि अपनी मृत्यु का अनुभव तत्त्वबोध भी तनावमुक्ति
के लिए रामबाण साधन है. यही तनाव का एकमात्र निदान है और उच्चस्तरीय जीवन का पाथेय पथ भी है.

साभार :- अखण्ड ज्योति