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Remember “I am”
Wherever you are, remember yourself, that you are. This consciousness that you are should become a continuity. Not your name, your caste, your nationality — those are futile things, absolutely useless. Just remember that: I am. This must not be forgotten. Walking, sitting, eating, talking, remember that: I am.
It will be difficult, very arduous. In the beginning you will keep forgetting: there will be only single moments when you will feel illuminated, then it is lost. But don’t get miserable; even single moments are much. Go on, whenever you can remember again catch hold of the thread. When you forget, don’t worry — remember again, and by and by the gaps will lessen, the intervals will start dropping, a continuity will arise.
And whenever your consciousness becomes continuous, you need not use the mind. Then there is no planning, then you act out of your consciousness, not out of your mind. Then there is no need for any apology, no need to give any explanation. Then you are whatsoever you are; there is nothing to hide. Whatsoever you are, you are. You cannot do anything else. You can only be in a state of continuous remembrance. Through this remembrance, this mindfulness, comes the authentic religion, comes the authentic morality.
This is what Hindus call self-remembrance, what the Buddha called right-mindfulness, what Gurdjieff used to call self-remembering, what Krishnamurti calls awareness. This is the most substantial part of meditation, to remember that: I am.
You need not repeat it in the mind, “I am walking.” If you repeat it, that is not remembrance. You have to be non-verbally aware that “I am walking, I am eating, I am talking, I am listening.” Whatsoever you do, the ‘I’ inside should not be forgotten; it should remain.
It is not self-consciousness. It is consciousness of the self. Self-consciousness is ego. Consciousness of the self is asmita — purity, just being aware that ‘I am’.
Ordinarily, your consciousness is arrowed towards the object. You look at me: your whole consciousness is moving towards me like an arrow. But you are arrowed towards me. Self-remembering means you must have a double-arrow — one side of it showing to me, another side showing to you. A double-arrow is self-remembrance.
Dropping the Armor
“It is just an armor, it is not clinging to you. You are clinging to it, so when you become aware, you can simply drop it. The armor is dead. If you don’t carry it, it will disappear. Not only are you carrying it, but nourishing and feeding it continuously.
But this is how civilization is — in a very neurotic state. Every child is fluid, he has no frozen parts in him; the whole body is one organic unity. The head is not important and the feet are not unimportant. In fact, division doesn’t exist; there are no demarcations. But by and by demarcations start coming up. Then the head becomes the master, the boss, and the whole body is divided into parts. A few parts are accepted by the society and a few parts are not. A few parts are dangerous for the society and have to be almost destroyed. That creates the whole problem.
So you have to watch where you feel limitations in the body. [The questioner responds: “in the legs, neck, chest and throat.”]
“Just do three things....”
Step 1: Exhale Deeply
“One: walking or sitting, or whenever you are not doing anything, exhale deeply. The emphasis should be on exhalation, not on inhalation. So exhale deeply — as much air as you can throw out, throw and exhale by the mouth. But do it slowly so it takes time; the longer it takes the better, because then it goes deeper. When all the air inside the body is thrown out, then the body inhales. Don’t you inhale. Exhalation should be slow and deep, inhalation should be fast. This will change the armor near the chest, and that will change your throat too.
Step 2: Run For Your Life!
Second thing: if you can start a little running that will be helpful. Not many miles, just one mile will do. Just visualize that a load is disappearing from the legs, as if it is falling. Legs carry the armor if your freedom has been restricted too much; if you have been told to do this and not to do that; to be this and not to be that; to go here and not to go there. So start running, and while running, also put more attention on exhalation. Once you regain your legs, and their fluidity, you will have a tremendous energy flow.
Step 3: Disarmoring
The third thing: in the night when you go to sleep, take off your clothes and, while taking them off, just imagine that you are not only taking off your clothes, you are taking off your armor too. Actually do it. Take it off and have a good deep breath — and then go to sleep as if unarmored, with nothing on the body and no restriction.”
Finding Silence in the Center of Sound
Close your eyes and feel the whole universe filled with sound. Feel as if every sound is moving toward you and you are the center. This feeling that you are the center will give you a very deep peace. The whole universe becomes the circumference and you are the center, and everything is moving toward you, falling toward you.
The center is without sound, that is why you can hear sounds — a sound cannot hear another sound. The center is absolute silence. That is why you can hear sounds entering you, coming to you, penetrating you, encircling you.
If you can find out where is the center, where is the field in you to where every sound is coming, suddenly sounds will disappear and you will enter into soundlessness. If you can feel a center where every sound is being heard, there is a sudden transference of consciousness. One moment you will be hearing the whole world filled with sounds, and another moment your awareness will suddenly turn in and you will hear the soundlessness, the center of life.
Do not start thinking about the sounds — that this is good and that is bad, and this is disturbing and that is very beautiful and harmonious. Simply think of the center. Just remember that you are the center and all the sounds are moving toward you — every sound, whatsoever the sort.
Sounds are not heard in the ears, the ears cannot hear them. The ears only do a transmission work, and in the transmission they cut out much which is useless for you. They choose, they select, and then those sounds enter you. Now find out within, where is your center. The ears are not the center, you are hearing from somewhere deep down. The ears are simply sending you the selected sounds. Where are you? Where is your center?
Excerpted from The Book of Secrets
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