Saturday, 19 June 2010

Forgiveness mean ?

Friday, 18 June 2010

A Letter From Deepak Chopra

It has become a truism that to receive love, we must give it. Giving engenders receiving, and receiving engenders giving. The reciprocal action keeps the flow of love alive. Without it, love would stagnate. For so many of us, however, learning to give is extremely difficult. It runs counter to some deep conditioning that we all carry around inside. We may fear that if we give, we will have less. We have all been taught to hold on to a good thing. Young-love

It is the ego that has a hard time letting go of something precious because, at bottom, ego isn't guided by love but by the struggle to survive. It wants predictable outcomes, security, the prerogative to be right, and continuity. Anyone who has ever been trapped in a possessive relationship knows ego's smothering effect. Ego can't give someone else space to live his or her own life because of a perceived threat to its existence. In truth, giving space isn't simple. It requires the willingness to "allow" another person their whole being – to freely express their ideas, feelings, reactions even when they are in conflict with your own. In short, it is permission for your beloved to be unlike you.

While the ego's primitive nature wants to hold on and control, spirit has no such concerns. It wants being, love, freedom, and creative opportunities. Spirit isn't afraid to give because it knows that its essential nature is pure love, unbounded in time and space. The question naturally arises, how then do we free ourselves to love and give freely?

The first step is to recognize your true spiritual nature. In truth, you are pure spirit, pure love, created from the same spirit that in infinite form is known as God. Realize that the ego often acts like a scared bully trying to protect its tiny fiefdom, not knowing that it is part of an infinite field of pure potentiality and infinite possibilities.

One of the most effective ways to connect to your true nature is meditation. For thousands of years people have used this proven method of inner discovery, which takes you beyond the mind's mental confusion and emotional turbulence into the silence of pure awareness. When you meditate regularly, you go deeper and deeper inside yourself, beyond the ego's illusions, old thought-patterns, and rigid habits – into the silent, peaceful, unchanging level we simply call the self. This pure bliss consciousness is who we really are.

Original post

Saturday, 5 June 2010

Dealing with an obsessive lover

Dealing with an obsessive lover

When she was in Singapore recently, film actress Asin was stalked by a stranger who after taking her pictures, managed to get past security to speak to her.

Many of us at some point or the other have had to deal with the attentions of obsessive lovers or over-possessive, needy friends. Experience tells us that this trait, if not nipped at the bud can become dark and murky.

What leads to obsession?
Love is defined as a strong bond between two people. And when that is threatened (imaginatively or really), the person becomes possessive, obsessive and paranoid to save their bond. This could just as well happen between friends, parent and child, as with lovers. Erotomania is the term used to describe the obsession for celebrities, where a fan is simply delusional, and has fallen in love with the celeb, and that without any reciprocation, their life is meaningless. This leads to attention seeking by text messaging or creating a scene in their presence. Even rejection doesn’t work, as they console themselves with the thought, ‘she doesn’t know how much I love her, when she realises, she will love me too.’

The obsessive lover
People with low self image and confidence generally become obsessive in their relationships.
Early childhood experiences also play a big role in determining how one behaves in his relationships later. Over critical parents who constantly keep rejecting their child, scar them for life. As adults, when they get into their first relationship, they find acceptance, but eventually become possessive, if that bond is threatened in anyway.
A series of failed relationships can also lead to an obsessive personality. They grow out to be insecure individuals who fear being ditched repeatedly.
There are some obsessive lovers who turn out to be sadistic. They can even go to the extent of harming the person. Such people usually suffer from psychopathic or anti-social tendencies.

You are an obsessive lover if...
You cannot forget the existence of that person in your life
You alter your schedule constantly to check where they are hanging out
You constantly need to check your lover’s phone history, email and text messages
You follow them everywhere and question them time and again about their whereabouts or who they are talking to.
You start fretting if your lover’s phone is engaged for sometime

Stop that
If you realise that you are unable to control your impulses, seek professional help immediately
Try to disconnect yourself with the person completely by cutting all links
Gather support from your family and friends. Ask them to help you stay away from the person you are obsessed with
Tell yourself that eventually you will get someone better.

Deal with a stalker
Call the police as early as possible
If the stalker is an ex, who threatens to show the world your personal pictures, letters, cards, do not feel scared. Chances are that they may be just empty threats.

from TOI original link is given below