Spiritually Literate New Year's Resolutions

Spiritually Literate New Year's Resolutions

1. I will live in the present moment. I will not obsess about the past or worry about the future.

2. I will cultivate the art of making connections. I will pay attention to how my life is intimately related to all life on the planet.

3. I will be thankful for all the blessings in my life. I will spell out my days with a grammar of gratitude.

4. I will practice hospitality in a world where too often strangers are feared, enemies are hated, and the "other" is shunned. I will welcome guests and alien ideas with graciousness.

5. I will seek liberty and justice for all. I will work for a free and a fair world.

6. I will add to the planet's fund of good will by practicing little acts of kindness, brief words of encouragement, and manifold expressions of courtesy.

7. I will cultivate the skill of deep listening. I will remember that all things in the world want to be heard, as do the many voices inside me.

8. I will practice reverence for life by seeing the sacred in, with, and under all things of the world.

9. I will give up trying to hide, deny, or escape from my imperfections. I will listen to what my shadow side has to say to me.

10. I will be willing to learn from the spiritual teachers all around me, however unlikely or unlike me they may be.


The Basic Practice

Spiritual Practices: Being Present

Enhances:
Contentment

Balances/Counters:
Living in past or future

The Basic Practice

Being present in the spiritual life always has a double meaning. There's present, as in here, in attendance. And there's present, as in now, a moment of time. What is the spiritual practice of being present? Being here now.

The world's religions all recommend living in the moment with full awareness. Zen Buddhism especially is known for its emphasis on "nowness." Hindu, Taoist, Jewish, Moslem, Christian, and other teachers urge us to make the most of every day as an opportunity that will not come to us again.

Also under the rubric of being present is the traditional spiritual exercise called practicing the presence of God. This means recognizing that God is here now moving through our everyday activities, no matter how trivial they might seem

Why This Practice May Be For You

The contrasts to being present are living in the past and living in the future. We do the former when we hold on to regrets. We constantly review things that have already happened, trying to explain them in terms of our own or someone else's actions. Often this kind of thinking leads to guilt or blaming.

We live in the future when we make assumptions or fantasize about what could happen and then become attached to those expected outcomes. This habit usually results in disappointment. Whether we are consumed with positive expectations (optimism) or negative projections (pessimism), we are not living in the moment.

When you find yourself constantly reacting to your experiences in one of these ways, when you always want to be otherwise and elsewhere, it is time to be present. The companion of this practice is contentment.

Taming Your Temper

Taming Your Temper


Poorly managed anger can damage your health, work and your relationships. Dr Sarah Edelman, psychologist and author of Change Your Thinking, offers these suggestions to get your anger under control:

Write a letter: Explain your anger in words—you don’t have to send it.

Cool off: “In an acute angry stage, it’s a good idea not to confront the person straightaway,” says Edelman.

Don’t throw a tantrum: “Venting can cause more problems than it solves,” says Edelman. “It can impair good relationships and it’s not good role-modelling for kids.”

Communicate: Slow down and think about what you want to say. Explain that you feel angry about something rather than acting aggressively. Listen carefully to the other person before you respond.

Use humour: If you think of a co-worker as a “dirt bag,” visualize them as a bag of dirt going about their day.

Seek alternatives: If the daily commute provokes uncontrollable road rage, consider different transport forms or a job closer to home.

Pros and cons: Ask yourself, “Is the anger achieving anything, or is it just hurting me?” Edelman warns, “Some people are reluctant to let anger go because they see that as a victory to the other person.”

Problem-solve: Ask yourself, “Is there anything I can do about this problem?” If not, move on.

Acceptance: “Sometimes we have to accept that injustice is a part of life,” says Edelman.

Dealing with other people’s rage

First of all, don’t tolerate abuse. “If someone is angry but not hostile, validating their perspective can help diffuse the situation,” says Edelman. Say, “I can understand why you feel that way and it must be upsetting.” This approach does not mean you’re taking responsibility for their anger. But if you have done something to provoke anger, saying “sorry” can work wonders. - Sophie McNamara

From RD India ( http://www.rd-india.com/newsite/rdliving/you.asp)

Taming Your Temper

Taming Your Temper


Poorly managed anger can damage your health, work and your relationships. Dr Sarah Edelman, psychologist and author of Change Your Thinking, offers these suggestions to get your anger under control:

Write a letter: Explain your anger in words—you don’t have to send it.

Cool off: “In an acute angry stage, it’s a good idea not to confront the person straightaway,” says Edelman.

Don’t throw a tantrum: “Venting can cause more problems than it solves,” says Edelman. “It can impair good relationships and it’s not good role-modelling for kids.”

Communicate: Slow down and think about what you want to say. Explain that you feel angry about something rather than acting aggressively. Listen carefully to the other person before you respond.

Use humour: If you think of a co-worker as a “dirt bag,” visualize them as a bag of dirt going about their day.

Seek alternatives: If the daily commute provokes uncontrollable road rage, consider different transport forms or a job closer to home.

Pros and cons: Ask yourself, “Is the anger achieving anything, or is it just hurting me?” Edelman warns, “Some people are reluctant to let anger go because they see that as a victory to the other person.”

Problem-solve: Ask yourself, “Is there anything I can do about this problem?” If not, move on.

Acceptance: “Sometimes we have to accept that injustice is a part of life,” says Edelman.

Dealing with other people’s rage

First of all, don’t tolerate abuse. “If someone is angry but not hostile, validating their perspective can help diffuse the situation,” says Edelman. Say, “I can understand why you feel that way and it must be upsetting.” This approach does not mean you’re taking responsibility for their anger. But if you have done something to provoke anger, saying “sorry” can work wonders. - Sophie McNamara

From RD India ( http://www.rd-india.com/newsite/rdliving/you.asp)

Don’t let the best be enemy of the good

Don’t let the best be enemy of the good

VITHAL C NADKARNI

ONCE upon a time in a garret at back-of-beyond there lived a hack. He believed he was too good for the soul-killer of a job he did in daytime. He believed even more strongly that the magnum opus he was feverishly working on by night would, one day, proclaim his genius to a grateful world. His analyst however suspected otherwise. The shrink knew at first hand the secret fears and public phobias that were sapping the hack’s Muse from bursting into full flower.
The wise lady therefore cautioned the genius-in-waiting against unrealistic aspirations which the writer seemed to have set up just in order to fail (if only to ‘prove’ the greatness of his talent in an unfeeling world). She cited research findings galore about the perfectionists’ not-so-secret scripts of self-defeat, about how these too-goodfor-grimy-world angels deliberately seemed to adopt inefficient work habits that hurt their actual performance. They toiled slowly; agonised over every painful detail, and spent much more time on a project than it deserved without really adding too much additional value.
The procrastination of the perfectionist was even worse, the therapist warned. The procrastinators seemed to love the travel or the struggle even more than actual goals and targets, perhaps because perfection often seemed to shimmer sweetly beyond our all-too-grubby human capacities. Other experts warned that perfectionism backfired when people measured their own worth entirely in terms of productivity and achievement. Vulnerable to a loss of self-esteem and painful mood swings after any setback, such people applied themselves inconsistently and ultimately ended up accomplishing less because of their impossible-to-please standards, they added. Voltaire, the French master of the bon mot, summed up this paradox perfectly: “The best is the enemy of the good.”
Perfectionism can also become an albatross around one’s neck when there is a mismatch between goals and energies in inappropriate areas. When a serious student with a tendency to obsess decides to devote the same kind of focus and zeal to dieting one could end up with anorexia, for example. How to strive without burn-out was the question.
The hack eventually saw the light (aided by kindly criticism and rejection slips). Easing up entirely on expectations, he flowed to fulfilment, just as the Bhagvad Gita advised.