Thursday, 22 April 2010

... there’s a Hole in my Sidewalk ...

I walk down the street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in
I am lost … I'm hopeless
It isn’t my fault
It takes forever to find a way out

I walk down the street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I pretend I don’t see it
I fall in again
I can’t believe I’m in the same place
But it isn’t my fault
It still takes a long time to get out

I walk down the same street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I see it is there
I still fall in … it’s a habit
My eyes are open
I know where I am
It is my fault
I get out immediately

I walk down the same street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I walk around it

I walk down another street

Symptoms of 498a/Fraud/egoist wife : start to take precaution

If your wife/her family is displaying a combination of these behaviors, then you may have a potential 498A mis user on your hands.

1.Family:Is newly-rich; Likes to show-off (their house/cars/paintings/relatives/ connections, etc.);

Related to politicians/bureaucrats/lawyers/judges/police officers; has a history of filing cases against anybody and everybody (search the website of the courts in their State of residence); Beats up its employees; Lives beyond its means; Mother's face cannot be seen beneath the layers of cosmetics; Father acts like a 'Brown Sahib'; Girl/her sister has been in more than one previous relationship, etc.

2. A push for a quick involvement: Comes on very strong, claiming, "I've/We've never felt loved like this by anyone/or so close to anybody." An Abusive woman/her family pressures the man/his family for an exclusive commitment almost immediately.

3. Jealousy: Excessively possessive; calls constantly or visits unexpectedly: prevents you from going to work because 'you might meet someone;" smells your jacket for perfume residue, checks your shirt collar for lipstick marks and goes through your pant pockets.

4. Controlling: Interrogates you intensely (especially if you're late) about whom you talked to, and where you were; wants her name on all your assets/control all the money.

5. Unrealistic expectations: Expects you to be the perfect man and meet her and her family's every need.

6. Isolation: Tries to cut you off from family and friends; accuses people who are your well wishers of "causing trouble."

7. Blames others for problems and mistakes: The boss/the employee, her ex-boyfriend/ ex-husband, it's always someone else's fault if anything goes wrong.

8. Makes everyone else responsible for her feelings: The abuser says, "You make me angry instead of, "I am angry' or, "You're hurting me by not doing what I tell you." Less obvious is the claim "You make me happy."

9. Hypersensitivity: Is easily insulted, claiming that her feelings are hurt when she is really mad. She'll rant about the injustice of things that are just part of life.

10. Cruelty to animals and to children: Kills, maims (e.g., tears the wings off a butterfly) or punishes Animals brutally (e.g., by kicking them till they bleed). Also may expect children to do things that

are far beyond their ability (makes an 18 month old stand in a corner or whips a 2-year-old for wetting a diaper) or may tease them until they cry.

11. "Playful" use of coercion during s*x: Enjoys initiating and controlling s*x, stimulating herself and teasing; asks about your s*xual fantasies.

12. Verbal abuse: Constantly criticizes you/your family, or says blatantly cruel, hurtful things; disgraces, curses, calls you/your family ugly names. This may also involve sleep deprivation, waking you up with relentless verbal abuse.

13. Rigid s*x roles: Expects you to serve and obey her/her family.

14. Sudden mood swings: Switches from sweetly loving to explosively violent in a trotter of minutes or even more confusing, within seconds. You feel as you are walking on "eggshells" around her.

15. Past behavior: May not actually admit to hitting men in the past (but may write it in her journal/diary and says they made her do it or the situation brought in on).

16. Threats: Makes statements like, "My parents will support me even if I murder someone," or "A woman is always right/the system should always believe the woman" or "I will cut you up the way a fisherman slices fish" and then dismisses them with, "Everybody talks that way," or "I didn't really

Mean it." If she has come this far, it is time to get help and get out!


Rajkumar Choudhury

Original Location

The views expressed are my own and not necessarily those of my current or past employer. The views and opinions expressed by visitors or in other links/blog to this blog are theirs and do not necessarily reflect mine.

Sunday, 18 April 2010

Find The Source Of Ego


Find The Source Of Ego


Meditation is deliberating on the thought process and bringing it to a focal point. Some go for total thoughtlessness. The other way is to focus between the eyebrows to see the light of Brahmn. Chanting of a mantra is another way to do meditation. Ramana Maharishi of Arunachalam said that one should search for self-identity by asking: “Who am I?” In meditation one should ask this question and with gradual evolution find calmness and peace.
The question really means, what is the source or origin of ego? To find the answers
you need to be free of attitude. Give up the bhavana that you are the body related to name, profession, region, language and other such acquired identities. There is no need to have an attitude about your real nature. It exists as it always has. It is real. Some ask that does not the enquiry “who am I?’’ turn out, in the end, to be an empty question?
Self-enquiry is not done in vain. It is more than the repeti
tion of a mantra. If the enquiry were a mere mental exercise, it would not be of much value. The very purpose of self-enquiry is to focus the entire mind at its source. It is not one eye searching for another eye. Neither is self-enquiry an empty formula, for it involves an intense activity of the entire mind to keep it steadily poised in pure selfawareness. Until one realises that state of pure being, the enquiry should continue. By gradual evolution in this state, it is possible for one to get permanently established in the state of self-awareness. The state of self-awareness is termed as sat-chit-anand or total bliss.
Be what you are. Lose your ego. You cannot run away from yourself. Maharishi said, reject all other thoughts and persist with the enquiry “who am I?” As per Maharishi’s formula, if you keep raising the enquiry “who am I?” many thought waves will get to disappear with the enquiry.
Self-enquiry leads to knowledge of Self. One is aware of the Self even though the Self is not objectified. When you say you do not know the Self, it means absence of related knowledge because we are so accustomed to relative knowledge that we always look for same. Because of this the goal of Self- realisation appears to be distant.
Feel yourself dismantling the
false i that is ego and establish yourself in the real i and the answer to the query of “Who am I?” becomes evident. To gauge progress on the journey of Self-realisation see the degree of absence of thoughts. Self-realisation itself does not admit to progress. The obstacles are thoughts. Progress is measured by the degree of removal of these obstacles.
With self-enquiry you go
to the source of these thoughts and this enquiry removes that source of thought. This process will remove all doubts and finally peace will prevail. This way we will be able to say that Self-realisation is that which is peace. All that we need to do is to keep quiet.
Peace is our real nature. By realising the Self you can easily call yourself divine. Ahambrahmnsmi or “I am Brahmn” can be felt in word and spirit. Those who realise the Self are called saints. The journey is not difficult; it is achievable. Just meditate on the question: “Who am I?” and you will eventually find the answer.

Courtesy TOI

Other book from Ramana Maharshi

choose, I chose ..

Choose to be happy,
Choose to feel great,
Choose not to let things make you irate.

I know that some people are not feeling great,
And I know that some people just know how to hate.
And I wish that all people could be healthy and strong,
And I wish that all people would just get along.

If wand could be waved, and the world would be cured,
I’d wave that big wand, you can be assured.
But I’ll do what I can every day I am here,
And try to remember “the good”, day to day, year to year.

And I chose to be happy,
And I chose to feel great,
And I chose not to let things make me irate!


gratitude and appreciation: ... choose, I chose ...

Saturday, 3 April 2010

installing love ...

Tech Support:
Yes, ma'am, how can I help you?

Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?

Tech Support:
Yes, I can help you, are you ready to proceed?

Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support:
The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart ma'am?

Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support:
What programs are running ma'am?

Let's see, I have Past-Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge, and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support:
No problem, Love will gradually erase Past-Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of it's own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ma'am?

I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support:
With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have completely erased.

Okay, done, Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support:
Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error-program not run on external components. What should I do?

Tech Support:
Don't worry ma'am, It means the Love program is set-up to run on Internal Hearts but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

So what should I do?

Tech Support:
Can you pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realise Your Worth; and Acknowledge Your Limitations.

OK, done.

Tech Support:
Now copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Got it. Hey!!! My Heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support:
Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but eventually everyone gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang-up, Love is FreeWare. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

I promise to do just that. Thank you for your help!

Tech Support:
You're very welcome.

From face book @ gratitude and appreciation: ... installing love ...